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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour trouble

92 replies

Sickandtiredofthem · 07/09/2019 07:41

Ok I've I've NC for this and it's a long one sorry.

I live in a end terrace and I think I might have really screwed things up with my ndn. They have 5 DC (18,17,15,13 and 4 ) the 15 year old has mild adhd (might be relevant). They have always been loud, selfish and the mum is vile. However 14 months ago the mum (will call jane) found out that her mum (will call dg) had terminal cancer (she died last month).

I have put up with a hell of a lot of crap from them and said very little about it for years as Jane is impossible to deal with in part due to me reporting her to the dog wardens, as she wouldn't stop her rottweiler from coming into my back garden to poo, attacking my ddog, knocking my DC over and the last straw was when it bit me . She didn't see any problem with this as I "just needed to get over myself , it's just a dog and it likes my garden " . Just a little bit of background

Ok back to now .
For the last 14 months Jane has obviously spent a lot of time out helping dg with chemo ect and left all 5 dcs at home alone. The 18 year old (will call Kim) is left in charge, all reasonable so far. However Kim can't cope with her siblings. She screams at them and has fiscally attacked the younger 3. I did tell Jane about it and she has done nothing.
Also Kim has parties all summer and every weekend with lots of loud drunk teens till 3 or 4 am.
Last week I saw Kim slap the youngest so hard across her face that she now has a bruise in the shape of a hand on her face. I called ss.
SS have now removed the younger 3 DC and the police have arrested both Kim and Jane but have bailed them. Since then I've had nothing but abuse and threats from them to the point that I'm scared to go home. I've been accosted in the street by there friends and family saying how despicable I am for calling ss when I know that there grieving.

So was I unreasonable for reporting to ss and should I contact the police about the threats or should I have left it alone and should I now not report the threats?

Sorry for the length

OP posts:

InterestingView · 08/09/2019 12:42

Well done OP! I was thinking for SS to take those kids so easily they must be known to them already. You've done the right thing.

hoxtonbabe · 08/09/2019 12:53

Excellent result. Hopefully they will move you soon ( not sure I’d want to stay there and they move as they can come back and still give you Hell) and good for you for reporting them.

2girlsandagap · 08/09/2019 13:34

It was brave of you to report the abuse op. You should certainly report the intimidation to the police but how would your neighbor know you reported to child protection in the first place? Ss reports are anonymous even during the court process. I’d feign ignorance and deny deny deny.

Knittedfairies · 08/09/2019 13:36

A great update. Well... apart from the bit where the police are concerned for your safety.

2girlsandagap · 08/09/2019 13:38

Didn’t rtft and got keyboard happy- just read the updates now .

Well done on reporting to police and good luck with housing.
Must remember to rtft in future
I’ll cancel the cheque while I’m at it....

cornish009 · 08/09/2019 13:41

SS have now removed the younger 3 DC and the police have arrested both Kim and Jane but have bailed them.

What has Jane been arrested for? From your posts she did not commit the abuse, and as her children were looked after by another adult (albeit their sibling) she did not commit neglect. As a foster carer I know the usual thing would have been for the abusive older sibling to leave, with the younger children staying with their mother. For Jane to be arrested and the children removed, there must be something else going on too....as from what I have read Jane has committed no crime.

Bloomburger · 08/09/2019 13:48

Grieving doesn't absolve you of being a decent human and not breaking the law especially when it comes to abusing your children. You did the right thing and need to step up the reports to the police and the council.

This woman has fuck all regard for you why on earth do you give a shit about her.

sunshinesupermum · 08/09/2019 13:54

cornish the family is already known to the police and SS - OP updated!

cornish009 · 08/09/2019 15:31

cornish the family is already known to the police and SS - OP updated!

Thank you sunshine - apologies for missing the update.

SheeshazAZ09 · 08/09/2019 15:37

Log all incidents with date, time. Report to Council (their landlord), SS, and the police (the latter in cases where harrassment, threats etc occur). We had similar probs as you, OP, with a family of Council tenants living next door to us. Police and SS were also involved. After a while the Council simply moved the family on. It was an amazing relief and after that the Council installed some lovely new tenants.

KarmaStar · 08/09/2019 18:11

up I feel for you,I really do!if I had a house to give you I would.
Record every threat,every comment should be documented.
Ask to impose bail conditions if rearrested for harassment that they should not contact you directly or indirectly(that means via family and friends also).
Contact council and report.
Contact mp.
Try to record as much as you can on your phone,or get a proper video recorder.
Fence off your garden so they can't sneak in and damage your property.
Consider installing video cameras if affordable,if your police have crime reduction,ask for help.
Don't be shy of making frequent calls to the various authorities if that's what it takes to end this misery.
You've done nothing wrong,you've done the right things..
Good luck.💐

AlpacaGoodnight · 09/09/2019 19:58

Well done op, I hope you get sorted quickly and get lovely neighbours in your new home. You did the right thing reporting, it's a really hard thing to do when the family is notorious

Hidingtonothing · 09/09/2019 20:51

I know exactly how you're feeling OP, it's utterly shit that it took this to make it happen but the relief of knowing you're going is immense. Where I am now isn't perfect but it's a million times better than where we were. What happened to us (long story but basically a really nasty aggravated burglary) was awful but moving here was definitely the beginning of better times for us, I really hope the same will happen for you

Wilmalovescake · 10/09/2019 00:45

Brilliant update.
Well done police and well done you.

lunar1 · 10/09/2019 02:17

I hope you get moved somewhere quickly. You absolutely did the right thing.

user764329056 · 10/09/2019 02:25

Great news that you can escape this environment, it must have been so bad for you going through all this stress, I hope your new area is peaceful and hope the poor little child from next door is ok

StoneofDestiny · 10/09/2019 03:46

Glad they are moving you - hope it works out.

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