DD stealing (sick of it)

[NotSoThinLizzy]

So DD aged 10 had been stealing from my purse and her grans purse for the past 6 months. Each time we catch her she gets punished e.g screens taken away, grounded or no pocket money. Caught her last night stealing £2 had a heart to heart she broke down crying thought we had a break through but this morning she took a £1 I know it's not much but she knows it's wrong. I've asked her why shes doing it and she just dosent care if shes caught. I just dont know what else to do. I need to search her room as that's where she hides stuff shes stolen but feels like an invasion of privacy. She has friends and not bullied at school. She has a very big attitude problem her mouth runs without being connected to her brain half the time.

Would AIBU to "tidy"her room and take anything shes not supposed to have? Or her dad wants to take everything and she can earn it back.

Maybe stop her going to Gran's for a while, especially as she is stealing from her. Try and have some 1 to 1 time with her. Is your DH her dad?

I did this - I still can’t tell you why, I simply don’t know - I think it was to fill an emotional gap. I know I needed love rather than punishment - and I grew out of it.

My daughter did this at the same age too - also grew out of it

I did the same at her age. In hindsight I think it was because I was unhappy. I just got sort of addicted to it. I don't really know what the answer is but I think it's quite common. It's really hard to know what's going on with teenagers because they're so secretive

I used to steal specifically from my mother. There were many issues, that i am sure you don't have, but is she jealous of her younger sibling craving a bit more time and taking even the negative attention her actions bring?

I used to do this - no one knew but I was being bullied at school and if I didn’t take money - I would be be beaten up. Is there a reason she’s stealing?

I would drag professional help up from no.7 to no.1 to be honest. All the other things are dealing with the problem but not the root cause. You've tried talking to her and haven't managed to get to the bottom of it. Something's going on. If you can afford to get her some private counselling I would do it. Regardless of that I would also see a GP. If she's under the care of a dietician I would also talk to them about this binging on sweets as they may have some insight from a professional point of view.

Your aim is to make her stop because she no longer feels the compulsion so I wouldn't worry too much about sanctions.If they work to stop her stealing that doesn't necessarily mean the actual problem is solved anyway.

Having said that I wouldn't be giving her any money at all and would just be buying her what she needs. As a pp said prevent it from being possible to access your money by hiding it or locking it away.

Personally if my kids did this I would stop all pocket money remove all privelages. They would be doing homework or reading a book or doing chores. Take anything she values away and tell her every time she steals you will steal something she values from her room. When she learns to stop she can earn them back. If that fails k would consider taking her to a police station and asking them to have a word. A friend did do with her teen and the showed him where he would end uo if it carried on.

So thought I'd give everyone an update. We have been stealing free since this post. 😁
I did alot of things suggested here. We give her a £1 a day as pocket money she can then decide to save it or spend it. (We encourage some saving). She has actually been saving some so big win there too. We also take her shopping and let her pick out what she wants for snack at school which I think helped alot too. We've talked about it and she realises it's wrong. It seems that it was also a punishment thing like if I hadn't been spending enough time with her. So we now have a day a week where it's just me and her doing something. Also making more time in general for her.
So to sum up I'm very pleased with how shes behaving atm 😁

Make sure your bag/purse is somewhere she has no access to. If she steals other things, I agree, pocket money to be stopped until she earns it by not stealing other things. Seems her friend does it so she does it too.