To skive the birthday meal?

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My boyfriend's sister's husband is turning 41. There was a big shindig for his 40th which I attended.

Now theres a birthday lunch for him tomorrow which I have been summoned to.

Family is really important to my boyfriend, they all see each other every day, and it's seen as a big massive deal if their partners dont attend stuff.

But I actually cannot be fucked to spend my Saturday sitting in my "SILs" living room and listening to in gossip.

On the other hand, my boyfriend and his sister and mother will be disappointed with me if I dont go.

So: skive or not skive?

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend didn't go to something you'd like him to attend?

Well don't you sound a peach. Do what you want.

No.

Well I mean they never engage with any conversation I start or bother to take much interest in me other than requiring me to do my hair and sit smiling at the table so sorry but no, they dont really bring out my peachy side.

I wouldn't go then. Life's too short.

Blimey.

If it's important to him of course you should go.

Don’t go!

Just a thought but if they always do stuff like this and you don’t like going... is this really going to work our long term?

Does your boyfriend know how you feel?

Yes he does know how I feel. He says that's how they are.

I wouldn't go, sounds boring. I'd make an excuse.

Don't go

They all see each other every day?! Is this really a relationship that's going to work out, long-term?

It’s not unusual to be invited for lunch for a boyfriends family birthday is it?

Doesn't sound like you and your DP are compatible long term. You can't stand being with his family and he wants to spend time with them "every day"

If you see yourself as settling down with this man or indeed, if you are long-term then I'd go. Sounds like his family are part of the 'package'.
I'd be asking if I was going to be happy with this forever.

If you see a long term future with him I think you ought to go.

I want to say don't go because it doesn't sound like they make much of an effort to include you once you're there. But if it's important to your partner then maybe that's reason enough, depending on your relationship. Hard to say without knowing more about the relationship.

Fake tummy bug? Equally you probably need to evaulate the future of the relationship. If 99% of the time it isn't a problem and the odd skive works for you then fine but if actually you're sick to death of seeing his relatives that often then has the relationship really got much of a future?

How much notice have you got for this? Because I'd have a prior engagement - TBH your BFs, sisters, husband - thats just way out of the loop.

But I'd say long term, you wont be suited, you'll be moaning about the ILS taking up too much time

End it now . It is going to get worse.
Find some one who does not give a shining turd about their family.

Sounds like they do not really care if you go or not so you are probably not welcome in the family. I do not see a long term future here .

Don’t go, if I had to see my SIL everyday I’d end up killing her and her annoying husband. My DH knows I don’t like them but won’t ever put pressure on me to see them and vice versa.

There should be no pressure on you to see anyone you don’t wish to.

So no YANBU .

Hmm, free lunch? Any idea what's being cooked?