To buy an engagement ring for myself?

[EllaChakka]

I am a regular but NC often to protect privacy.

I have been with DP for a year, he had been separated for a while when we got together and finally divorced recently. He is not keen on the idea of remarrying, and to be honest I don’t care much either way. We are very happy together.

However, I am sometimes a bit jealous of some of my female friends’ gorgeous engagement rings. So I am entertaining the idea of buying a lovely diamond ring for myself as a Christmas present this year.

Would that be really bad? Would it look crass? Am I a total nutter for even thinking this?

Buy whatever ring you want & wear it however you want.
But be prepared for assumptions & questions if it looks a certain way or you wear it a certain way.

A ring does not define you, nor does marriage and 1 year really isn’t long IMVHO! Just enjoy it, will your partner not think your a nutter? If my friend did this I’d find her a little bit of a bunny boiler - lightheartedly. x

No that would be odd as you’re not engaged.

Could you ask your partner for a commitment ring??

Do you plan to wear it on the engagement ring finger?

Asking for a commitment ring after a year is a bit much IMO.

The man has just recently divorced and may not want anything that signifies commitment in a formal way.

I question if you really are content with not ever getting married. If you truly were, you wouldn't want to fool people into thinking you're engaged.

You can buy yourself as much diamond jewellery as you want. Go for it. But it's not an engagement ring and it's really weird to be equating the two.

Buy yourself a ring and wear it on any of the other fingers and don’t call it an engagement ring. Sorted

You've not been together long so please don't associate it with him.

Buy yourself something nice because you can. And there are way nicer rings about then the standard solitaire diamond engagement ring

@EllaChakka Agree with pps that a year is not a long time. How old are you?

I think it will make you look a bit batshit if you buy an engagement ring for yourself and actually CALL it an engagement ring when you're not engaged (and your partner didn't give it to you!)

So buy a nice ring by all means, but don't say it's an engagement ring, don't pretend your DP got it for you, and don't wear it on your third finger, left hand.

It will make you look a bit like Muriel from 'Muriel's wedding.' 😬

Clearly it's fine to wear any piece of jewellery you like and to buy it yourself.

But if you're planning on buying an engagement type ring, wearing it on your engagement finger and pretty much pretending you're engaged that's kinda creepy. And if I was your partner I'd be giving you the side eye and lacing up my running shoes 😯

Buy it but wear on the other hand

And the point the pp made about running the risk of someone seeing if ehen you're together and congratulating you is just so cringe when you have to explain you're not engaged you bought it for yourself.

Also I'd be wary about if he had kids what they will think, they may not believe you're not engaged or think you're a proper nutter.

It really is one step short of buying a wedding dress and wearing that because you are jealous of women who get to wear one.

I agree with everyone else, absolutely fine to buy yourself a beautiful ring, but bat shit to call it an engagement ring or to wear it on your ring finger.

Are you sure you’re ok with never marrying him though? What if you have kids together (assuming you want them)?

I had a diamond band while we lived together.

I would wear it on the "engagement finger", but right hand.

To answer some PPs, I am genuinely not fussed about being engaged or getting married, it is more the ring that I like！

Do you plan to wear it on the engagement ring finger?

I was wondering the very same!

So you mean
“ Shall I buy myself a ring for Christmas “

You could buy a diamond ring for your middle finger. You can buy whatever you want to you don't have to get permission first. One day you might be given an engagement ring so keep that finger free for that. Enjoy your ring shop.

My dh bought me a 'diamond right hand' ring about a year before we got engaged.

Do whatever you want OP. If it makes you happy, go for it

So your question is "Aibu to buy myself a diamond ring?"

Answer - no one cares about these things

I should have added 'so of course yanbu'

Exactly what Kaytee said.
Buy yourself a diamond ring. Do you really need the permission of some strangers on the internet to do that?

I think what op really wants to do is to wear it on her engagement finger...

I am divorced and happily with dp no intention of marrying again.

I inherited a beautiful diamond and gold ring and I wear it on my ring finger for no other reason than I feel like it.

Do I give a fuck what anyone thinks about that?

No