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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just double check I'm not being u about drink driving

70 replies

Swellerellamoo · 04/09/2019 18:51

Lovely boyf. In practically all ways kind, sweet and sensible.

With one major exception.

When he goes to the pub after work he will happily drink 4 pints and then drive to mine. I have politely said, once I realised this , that if he chooses to drink more than 2 pints he is not to come to my house afterwards as I want no part in this.

He is at the pub now, having driven, about to drink his third pint and I have said - no, if you choose your third pint I do not want you to come here as I want no part in drink driving.

Of course I am very concerned he will have an accident and hurt someone as a result.

He also drives for a living.

OP posts:
SpaceTreasure · 04/09/2019 18:54

I know this probably sounds pearl-clutchy but I honestly couldn't be with someone this blasée about possibly killing people. He has a massive sense of entitlement for one thing.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 04/09/2019 18:55

He's a prize dickhead.

Bobbyflay · 04/09/2019 18:56

Even two pints is too much.

iklboo · 04/09/2019 18:57

YANBU he might feel 'fine' to drive but he won't be.

perdigal · 04/09/2019 18:57

It says lots about his character.

Wouldn't just not want him round after 2+ pints wouldn't want that kind of person in my life.

YWBU to continue in a relationship with this type of person frankly.

It's a matter of time before disaster strikes

randomchap · 04/09/2019 18:57

Even 2 pints could put you over the limit. Any drinking should mean no driving.

If he wants 4 pints and you want to see him, could you collect him?

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 04/09/2019 18:57

This is a fairly dramatic situation. Your BF could easily kill someone. You're not overreacting. At all.

Like you I would flatly refuse to see him if he's been drinking. Can he not drive to you when he's sober at the start of the evening?

Why does he do this? Ask him what on earth he's thinking.

I think if I became aware that someone was deliberately driving over the limit I might feel compelled to report them.

HandsOffMyRights · 04/09/2019 18:58

YANBU.
What does his driving job involve? Taxis? Buses? Trucks?

An accident waiting to happen.

Purpleartichoke · 04/09/2019 18:59

I’d break up with someone over that kind of behavior. Also consider reporting.

Wolfiefan · 04/09/2019 19:00

He should never drink and drive.
If he’s regularly drinking 4 pints (8 units?) a night then he is a binge drinker.
Time to dump.

Deelish75 · 04/09/2019 19:00

Do you know which pub he is in?
Do you know the colour, make, model and ref number of his car?
If it was me I would be informing the police and letting them deal with him.
He’s a twat who thinks it okay to jeopardise other people’s lives, I couldn’t be with him.

Bouffalant · 04/09/2019 19:01

I would absolutely end a relationship with someone that did this.

LemonAddict · 04/09/2019 19:03

I’d be contacting the local police with the make, model and number plate of his car and have them waiting down the road from the pub to breathalyse him when he leaves.

Dollywilde · 04/09/2019 19:03

I’m relatively blasé about booze (far more than most on here) but that’s unacceptable OP. My personal limit is a single glass of wine and after that I don’t drive, MIL drives after two 175s and I feel uneasy at that. 4 pints and I’d be considering a police tip off, actually.

Swellerellamoo · 04/09/2019 19:03

Thanks all. I agree he is a complete danger.

Yes I do know all those details. Would you make that call?

OP posts:
Sunseed · 04/09/2019 19:04

Are you concerned enough to report him to the police?

user1493413286 · 04/09/2019 19:07

I couldn’t be with someone who did that

issano · 04/09/2019 19:08

I would 100% make the call, could you live with the guilt of not doing so if he had a crash and killed an innocent person??

issano · 04/09/2019 19:09

I've reported 2 people in the past for drunk driving as I couldn't have lived with myself knowing I had done nothing about it

zippey · 04/09/2019 19:10

I take it he doesn’t live in Scotland? Here you can’t drink any alcohol and drive.

smileylottie87 · 04/09/2019 19:11

You can never be being unreasonable when it comes to drink driving, he is being a twat andputting others at risk as well as himself. It's so bloody selfish and unnecessary

WTCT · 04/09/2019 19:13

Jeez.

I will have one glass of wine and then drive a little while later... but 4 pints is absolutely ridiculous. That’s the equivalent of a bottle of wine, almost.

HandsOffMyRights · 04/09/2019 19:13

Yes I would make the call.
He could cause a death tonight.

hellenbackagen · 04/09/2019 19:13

ring 101 or do an online report with his car, make, model and registration number and where he drinks, what days and what times.

i guarantee there will be no cop available tonight. maybe not for a while.
but the intelligence and will get submitted.
one night, a cop will be free and will pog up somewhere nearby and pull him. this needs to happen before he causes an accident. you dont have to say anything and you can even do it without leaving your details.

ive no idea why drink driving appears to still be acceptable. he needs a wake up call. better that than going to prison for death by dangerous driving.

flyingspaghettimonster · 04/09/2019 19:19

Drink driving is a deal breaker for me. My father used to drink drive and it terrified me as a kid. I don't think i would even want to be with someone who chose to go to pubs a lot, but drive afterwards? Hell no.