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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just double check I'm not being u about drink driving

70 replies

Swellerellamoo · 04/09/2019 18:51

Lovely boyf. In practically all ways kind, sweet and sensible.

With one major exception.

When he goes to the pub after work he will happily drink 4 pints and then drive to mine. I have politely said, once I realised this , that if he chooses to drink more than 2 pints he is not to come to my house afterwards as I want no part in this.

He is at the pub now, having driven, about to drink his third pint and I have said - no, if you choose your third pint I do not want you to come here as I want no part in drink driving.

Of course I am very concerned he will have an accident and hurt someone as a result.

He also drives for a living.

OP posts:
xaphan77 · 04/09/2019 20:51

I hope somebody in the pub sees him driving off after his 4 pints and rings 999

TwatCat · 04/09/2019 20:53

I helped at the scene of a drink driving incident a few weeks ago. I held a 22 year olds head still, covered in his blood and diesel from the van whilst my neighbour, a district nurse, gave him cpr. It was horrific. He was drink driving.
I was covered in his blood.
I see his face every time I close my eyes. His fixed eyes just staring. His tongue already blue.
Honestly if this isn't horrific enough to report him then nothing is. I'd rather see him fined and alive than for anyone to see him like I saw that young man.

His funeral is tomorrow.

That's why I say report him.

BeepBeeeep · 04/09/2019 20:55

I despise drink / drug drivers with a vengeance.
I would report him before he'd even got out of the pub car park in his car.

If I had my way I would put every single one of them off the road for the rest of their lives. No excuses.

hunz · 04/09/2019 21:08

My partner was killed in an accident due to a drink driver, the driver had drank 5 pints that night. We have 2 very young children and it's the worst pain I've ever felt, so for me personally I would report him before he does seriously hurt someone!

gilliansgardenbench · 04/09/2019 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwatCat · 04/09/2019 21:17

@hunz I can't even begin to imagine how awful that is for you and your DCs. ThanksThanksThanks

Ontheboardwalk · 04/09/2019 21:24

hunz sorry for your loss.

Absolutely report him for drink driving. Is he ever over the limit the next day for his driving job? He shouldn’t be on the road

Malvinaa81 · 04/09/2019 21:28

Pubs must see people driving who should not be, every day.
Only in the most aggravated cases would they report someone.

No one goes to a pub which reports people who drink....

On balance I'd stop seeing him. You are never going to stop him drinking too much- by most definitions he is probably an alcoholic.

But for myself I would not report him.

There are a lot of things you see in life that might need reporting, but in this case I'd walk away and leave it.

recklessruby · 04/09/2019 21:29

Many years ago I didnt think it was a big deal when my then boyfriend drank drove after "a few pints".
I was left on my own age 24 to raise dc after he crashed and killed himself one night.
Even now I wouldn't be around a drink driver.
I will never drive after even one drink.
Your boyfriend needs a wake up call OP
Dont be me.

SinkGirl · 04/09/2019 21:30

One of my good friends was killed by a drunk driver, age 18. He was an amazing person, just started music college, the most beautiful voice you’ve ever heard... he had an incredible future ahead of him and it was destroyed in a second by a thoughtless, selfish piece of shit who prioritised a few pints over someone’s life.

Two pints is too much. He needs to stop.

DoomsdayCult · 04/09/2019 21:47

My mother was killed by a drunk driver in 2000.
She didn’t get to see all her kids grow up.
She never got to see her grandkids.
She died before her own parents.
My dad never remarried, he still misses her every day.

Babysharkisanearworm · 04/09/2019 22:12

Deal breaker for me. If he had that sort of disregard for others, his job AND the law, I don't think I could get past it.
You don't need to give your name when calling but you may save someone's life by doing so.

WhyBirdStop · 04/09/2019 22:15

DH used to deliver a drink driving programme to people convicted (not the one day one a much longer one), the safe amount to fuck before driving is nothing, most adult men will be under the legal limit at two pints, but not all (weight and metabolism come into play). At 3 or 4 he is knowingly risking lives. I genuinely would call the police give them his reg and location.

Original poster
Swellerellamoo · 04/09/2019 22:26

Thank you all for your feedback. I am so so so sorry to hear of your losses Flowers.

He has let me know that he is home safely. I have not responded. I will share this thread with him in the morning and take the appropriate steps after that.

Thanks again for posts Flowers

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/09/2019 22:34

Why share the thread? He drink drives and binge drinks. Just move on.

hellenbackagen · 04/09/2019 23:23

op
you think sharing some opinion will stop him drink driving?

yeah why not just give him a heads up about how to avoid getting caught....

he will get caught one of these days. i can spot a drink driver a mile away. they think their driving isnt impaired but i can tell you now the signs are always there....going too slow or too fast, hitting the windscreen wipers instead of the indicator, being all over the road, no lights, or full beam , they are always under the illusion their driving is impeccable.
it isnt.

its shit.

NerrSnerr · 05/09/2019 09:06

He has seen the drink driving campaigns, he has read the news and knows the devastation it can cause. Sharing the thread will do nothing.

You either stay with him and accept that he'll carry on doing it (and will lie about it as he knows you don't agree) or you leave him as drink driving is unacceptable. Every time you know he has driven drunk you should have reported him.

Bookworm4 · 05/09/2019 09:10

Even if he doesn’t cause an accident he’ll loose his job if stopped, is he that thick? And I’d be concerned if he was safe to drive the next day, personally wouldn’t be with someone that drinks that often.

acatcalledjohn · 05/09/2019 10:10

The only way to have no part in his drink driving is to dump for exactly that reason. After you've reported him to the police.

He is not a nice person to take that risk.

One of DPs friend is going to court soon to find out if his licence will be taken away after his latest speeding offence as he has 9 points already. Clearly he hasn't learnt. He relies on his car for work, and has shared custody of a young child.

I sincerely hope he loses his licence.

I sincerely hope that your BF crashes his car the next time he drink drives. When he is on his own, preferably in to a lamp post. That way only he will be the victim of his own stupidity.

That will be the only way he learns.

acatcalledjohn · 05/09/2019 10:10
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