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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just double check I'm not being u about drink driving

70 replies

Swellerellamoo · 04/09/2019 18:51

Lovely boyf. In practically all ways kind, sweet and sensible.

With one major exception.

When he goes to the pub after work he will happily drink 4 pints and then drive to mine. I have politely said, once I realised this , that if he chooses to drink more than 2 pints he is not to come to my house afterwards as I want no part in this.

He is at the pub now, having driven, about to drink his third pint and I have said - no, if you choose your third pint I do not want you to come here as I want no part in drink driving.

Of course I am very concerned he will have an accident and hurt someone as a result.

He also drives for a living.

OP posts:
HandsOffMyRights · 04/09/2019 19:24

Flying, my dad was the same. He'd drink six pints snd drive tje whole family home.

I didn't understand then, but now I cannot believe he put us and others at risk that way.

There's such a blase attitude to this. Can you imagine having to tell a parent their child has been killed or sustained life-changing injuries, just because somebody was having "A quick cheeky one for the road."?

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/drink-driver-crash-dead-prison-sentence-wrong-way-peterborough-tommy-whitmore-a8922341.html

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 04/09/2019 19:26

The position of the non-dickhead is always and only that if you drink, you don't drive. This man isn't a keeper and he is dangerous, so I think you have a duty to report what you know.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 04/09/2019 19:27

Absolutely unacceptable and I would regard this as a deal-breaker.

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2019 19:29

If you knew he was over the limit and driving and went on to kill someone (or himself) could you live with yourself if you didn't make the call?

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2019 19:30

I would also break up with him though. He'll still be drink driving on other days when he doesn't see you, he just won't tell you about it.

Windydaysuponus · 04/09/2019 19:34

I reported my dh for dd.
I filed for divorce and didn't tell him for 2 weeks.
Was a couple of years before he found out I reported him.
No regrets.
Yanbu to tell him to stay away. Tbh I would question the relationship if he can be so flippant about it.

Kiddofreddo80 · 04/09/2019 19:36

Report him. No need for him to know it was you

Throckmorton · 04/09/2019 19:43

Yes I absolutely would report. What if he kills someone tonight, and destroys a family?

ReasonedCamper · 04/09/2019 19:43

Actually I would tell him that he gets a taxi to yours or you will call the police.

But it would affect my long term plans. I am done with supporting men who are not pulling their weight and a man who will lose his licence sooner or later and lose his job is a liability I can do without.

bloodywhitecat · 04/09/2019 19:46

I'd report him and dump him.

Idontwanttotalk · 04/09/2019 19:50

OP, you can't just phone the police now and say that he does this. If you report him you need to report when he is actually driving under the influence of drink. (e.g. You see him leave the pub and start driving his car after drinking over the legal limit).

I must admit that I would have no hesitation in reporting someone for doing this. It is totally irresponsible. More people need to report drink and drug drivers.

I personally would not have a partner who does this and wouldn't care if he lost his job as a result of losing his licence.

OrangeSwoosh · 04/09/2019 19:52

Would you make that call?

Could you live with yourself if he killed an innocent person?

crustycrab · 04/09/2019 19:55

Yes you can report him before he drives. We did while someone who did this was still in the pub. The police were waiting for him when he exited the car park.

Ring them OP. He could kill someone tonight

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 04/09/2019 19:57

I am another for whom this would be a complete deal breaker. I couldn’t be with someone who was a regular drink driver and i totally would report then in a heartbeat.

tommycockles · 04/09/2019 19:59

You need to report him.

No ifs , no buts. Someone could die.

NoProblem123 · 04/09/2019 20:02

Please report him.

I’ve never got over losing my sister to a drink driver.

Wish someone had reported him.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 04/09/2019 20:07

He’s a selfish, reckless idiot and I wouldn’t date him.

RhymesWithOrange · 04/09/2019 20:10

Instantly dumpable offence. Could you imagine if he had that attitude with you or your kids in the car?

gilliansgardenbench · 04/09/2019 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deelish75 · 04/09/2019 20:12

Flowers to NoProblem123

He won’t just be killing innocent people, he’ll be destroying the families that are left behind.

littlecabbage · 04/09/2019 20:16

I would lose all respect for someone doing this, making it easier to report him to police, then dump him, then block him.

Isitnearlyweekend · 04/09/2019 20:30

I investigate road deaths for a job. You need to report him to the police or crime stoppers. He needs dealing with before he kills some innocent member of the public. You can ring the information in anonymously and he’ll never know it was you who gave it. You have a public responsibility to do the right thing.

Tistheseason17 · 04/09/2019 20:38

If you don't report him and he ends up killing someone you will have to live with the guilt, too.

As someone who has sustained severe permanent injuries as a result of a drink driver I have zero tolerance and give zero f*cks about him losing his licence. Better that than the worst outcome.

gilliansgardenbench · 04/09/2019 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwatCat · 04/09/2019 20:48

I'd report him.

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