To think that people don't budget carefully enough these days?

[daffodilrosedaisy]

I've come across several people recently who are living hand to mouth, and struggling to afford things... BUT spend out on what I would consider unnecessary luxuries. Examples:

• Struggling to pay rent for a large family each month, ended up in huge debt to their landowners and got kicked out... but have newest iPhones, iPads for all the kids, big TV etc.

• Unable to pay for boiler and car to be fixed at the same time in winter, so had to take out a big loan to buy new ones of both, but go on two week holidays abroad, and again own high-end electronics.

I'm not referring to people that are never able to save, because their living costs equate to what they earn. I mean people who seem to get their priorities wrong and spend lots on 'luxuries' but don't budget for the basics like rent, and having a contingency fund for when things go wrong (broken boiler/car etc.).

AIBU in thinking this is ridiculous? Especially when people have families to care for?

Yeah, I know a family who are up to their credit limits and have asked if they can delay their rent payments for the last few months. They’ve also just got back from Disneyland.

Hmm, I think you are wrong Happy. It’s not so much about, “Oh I have a shit life so I’ll do something reckless”

It’s more “I am pretty reckless in all aspects of my life, which is why it is shit”.

I’m not judging by the way, often this kind of behaviour is not something people can really fix.

Surely people who don't want to live like paupers make sure they can afford to keep the roof over their head and keep their home warm and everything in good working order.

@Preggosaurus9
You think that luxuries are an entitlement that should be bought on credit rather than budgeting for them just because you ' work your arse off '?
Both me and my husband work, we are lucky to be debt free because we've always budgeted carefully and not been brainwashed into the latest must haves.
I've got a credit card that has resided in my purse for the best part of two years that has never seen daylight since I got it. It is for emergencies which as of yet, have never arisen.
And hey, what do you know, we are going on our second holiday abroad this year at the end of the month and having another weekend away this weekend.
So no, budgeting doesn't mean boring.
It means being able to sleep well at night without worrying about tomorrow.

I am like this. I always spend spend spend. I have increased my salary from 18k to 45k in the past 6 years. Yet still have no money at the end of the month.m and I’m still paying 500 a month on debt. My issue stems from mental illness causing compulsive food binges and associated spending to make me feel better.

I started treatment last month and it’s shocking how much more money I have this month because I’m not compulsively spending on food and nice things to ‘treat myself’

@NinetySixer Huge well done to you for seeking help, that sounds so positive and I really hope things work out for you! At least you're aware that you do that, I'm sure most people don't even think twice about their behaviour.

@NinetySixer great job! In general, not just doing the treatment. Good luck!

@daffodilrosedaisy it’s been a real eye opener not only learning what a normal days food looks like but also that it’s not normal to buy a Costa breakup every morning and a takeaway every night, or drink a bottle of wine or buy shit loads of random crap to fill up the house with.

I’ve never really thought about it just spent without thinking.

budgeting doesn't mean boring.
It means being able to sleep well at night without worrying about tomorrow.

This should be as a poster everywhere

@NinetySixer

Well done. I hope you can stick to it. You will feel amazing as that light at the end of the tunnel gets ever brighter.
Keep up the good work. X

Different people have different priorities and everyone has the right to make what others may consider unwise decisions.

Unless you're lending them money then it doesn't directly effect you.

Can't get worked up about other people's priorities unless they are fucking up my life.

I think partly people spend like this because for a lot of people their situation won't get better so you can live within your means with repititive drudgery or have a small amount of joy in your life and also have debts.

I spend too much on takeaways (I have halved it but it's still once every 2 weeks ish). My weekly shop is £30 and the takeaway is about £15-£20. I could use that £20 to eat better meals but not having to cook that one meal is my luxury.

I don't drink, smoke, socialise, buy new clothes, get new tech, drink Starbucks, get nails or hair done, buy magazines, travel, go go to gigs, have streaming services or treat myself in any other way so that's it. It is boring af because there's nothing new in my life and I worry every night about the future despite furious budgeting. Stuffing my face once a fortnight brings me a tiny bit of happiness.

It sounds tough All. I really hope things improve for you.

Thanks. Trying to improve my situation as im under-employed but it's pretty soul destroying at times.

I'm like this OP. I really hate wasting money on things that I get no enjoyment from. I sound like a compete child but it's the way I am. Don't get me wrong, Im not in debt and we can afford food etc but we waste money at a shocking rate. I get a bit panicky about it sometimes but then I can't seem to stop myself buying unnecessary stuff.

Better than what though All? A lot of life is repetitive, that's normal. And so is the whole work/housework/sleep rinse and repeat to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. Is that drudgery? Within that you save up as best you can and treats come out of those savings.

Generations have lived like this.

Surely people who don't want to live like paupers make sure they can afford to keep the roof over their head and keep their home warm and everything in good working order.

I don't understand this either, we have always been low income from choice, might sound weird but not too fond of money. Even we have always had the money saved should the roof need repairing, or new boiler etc.
It's credit that allows for this living for the minute and monthly bills.
I was brought up with the save up for it philosophy. Can't afford it, well you do without.
I'm not judging neither is better than the other, just different lifestyle choices.

@darkcloudsandsunnyskies Try a phone app like wallet or spendee - you can connect them to your bank account and set limits/alarms when you spend over a certain amount - eg at coffee shops or fast food places, and you can see weekly breakdowns of how much is spent in each category

Well that’s very cheery Barbarian.

Not sure how natural drudgery is to humans. Pre the Industrial Revolution I imagine work was much more seasonal and there were quiet times and busy times. And more community and simple pleasures too.

@Allmyfavouritepeople have you checked out all free things where you live? Museums, libraries (which sometimes do events too), our council runs free sessions and couple of courses for adults too, so check yours. Community cinema does free screenings sometimes. And uni does free concerts sometimes
It could be good so you get to do something but don't have to spend.

budgeting isnt boring
it means having a roof over your head, food on the table clothes on your back and some in the bank for emergencies
not having a huge loan or credit and bills that will never be paid off and having to visit food banks to eat

People in UK are taking their free things on offer for granted imho.
I had to bring my mum here and take her to museums and galleryso she would believe me the state ones are free😂 And didn't believe me about a library either😂

All. Personally I would forego the takeaway for Netflix.

Many people live beyond their means. The richest people I know have the biggest debt in their constant desire to out do the others in their circle.

I volunteer for a homeless shelter. We don’t have resources in this country to help. But many many adults who I work with. Can’t budget. They just aren’t taught. Because of this I realised that we don’t get taught how to reasonably budget. Not in school. If your parents didn’t budget well. You won’t.

Plus the guise of social media paints everyone as either having the perfect life. Or the most depressing life.

We have real issues that should be dealt with from the very start.

Heartbreaking.