To think that people don't budget carefully enough these days?

[daffodilrosedaisy]

I've come across several people recently who are living hand to mouth, and struggling to afford things... BUT spend out on what I would consider unnecessary luxuries. Examples:

• Struggling to pay rent for a large family each month, ended up in huge debt to their landowners and got kicked out... but have newest iPhones, iPads for all the kids, big TV etc.

• Unable to pay for boiler and car to be fixed at the same time in winter, so had to take out a big loan to buy new ones of both, but go on two week holidays abroad, and again own high-end electronics.

I'm not referring to people that are never able to save, because their living costs equate to what they earn. I mean people who seem to get their priorities wrong and spend lots on 'luxuries' but don't budget for the basics like rent, and having a contingency fund for when things go wrong (broken boiler/car etc.).

AIBU in thinking this is ridiculous? Especially when people have families to care for?

Plus the guise of social media paints everyone as either having the perfect life. Or the most depressing life.
Read The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck.

Clicked too early.
Author interestingly explains how people are afraid to be average. You are either the star or the victim at the bottom.

@Jubba
My life is neither perfect nor depressing.
It is however, debt and stress free.
There were times when the kids were small that I would have loved to have taken them to Disney Land or bought them the latest gizmos, but rather than two weeks of pleasure followed by hardship and stress we did other things instead.
It was also a good lesson for our kids too, as they also budget and live within their means as married adults.

Many people live beyond their means. The richest people I know have the biggest debt in their constant desire to out do the others in their circle

The richest people I know live massively within their means, nice house, averagely nice holidays, modest cars. I think they are a bit daft to be honest.

You're right barbarian. It's the lack of something to look forward to rather than the living to survive. Plus the feeling that you are alone in your situation. A peasant farm labourer would have other peasant farm labourers to rub along with. If I had fewer ideas above my station I'd be more content for sure.

People have a choice

I've seen well paid people with rented house, exotic holidays, flashy girlfriend, fast car
But at the end of the month, they had to borrow their girlfriends old banger, because they couldnt afford petrol in their own car
Also didn't pay into work pension
Also didn't pay into work saving scheme

Compared to other people who saved to buy a property. Paid into pension. Paid into savings

You can't live other peoples lives

As I see people getting older, they are regretting not doing some of the things earlier in life

Saving up is boring

I agree OP, and these are the same people that moan about never being able to save for a house deposit or that moan about the system etc etc blah blah blah. I know so many people 'struggling' but still paying for the biggest sky tv package.

I appreciate some posters mention none of your business but is still frustrating to watch from the sidelines

Not so sure @TinklyLittleLaugh I've lived in subsistence farming communities and being 1 bad harvest away from starvation can be pretty stressful. There were suicides, and the hard work was pretty relentless. That said, the community spirit was really strong and people did seem to be able to make their own fun to a large extent. So maybe @Allmyfavouritepeople is right, and it's being one of a group of people in the same position that makes the difference.

I appreciate some posters mention none of your business but is still frustrating to watch from the sidelines

The most frustrating part is listening to constant "You so lucky!" and "I wish I could afford the thing like you" when you know money wise you are pretty much on a same level. Not spending wise though...

Exactly that @IAmALazyArse.
My s.i.l says things like ' it's alright for some ' if I book a holiday or something, between drags of her cig with her plumped up trout pout, which is held in her acrylic nailed fingers. ( Her cig is held with her acrylic nailed fingers, not her trout pout , although.... )

I'm really poor at budgeting and it's a source of shame really.
When my ex first left I went through all my outgoings and pared them back. I was proud of myself but as time has gone on and my income has increased it's all started to creep back up.
I'd desperately love to stash more into a pension (am paying a fair amount but not enough) but I just can't resist treating myself to eating out etc otherwise as PP say life's just a boring trudge.
One of my big reintroduced luxuries is gym membership as at least I tell myself that the treat will be a positive one for my health.
DD is very materialistic so I give her pocket money weekly and to her credit she does often save for a few weeks for a bigger item rather than blow it the second she received it which was what she did at first.
I do think it's personality types to an extent- DD has ADHD and I wonder if I have it sometimes. I would love to be more organised and disciplined.

I do think that more financial education should be taught in schools as well as in the home.
How much exactly did that £199 per month car actually costs over the whole plan. Same with phones.

How long a credit card will take to pay off if onlu paying the minimum amount etc

@OhamIreally I have ADHD and what helps me is to have everything actually visible. I print out sheets to organise myself and put them where I can see them. It also imho acts as cash used to.
You could see in your wallet how much you spend. If you print it and put it on a wall somewhere you will see it too, you will fill it because you see it, it will soon become habbit and it will make you think twice.
Planners, trackers, all printed out, all in visible space.

I think ADD and buzz seeking behaviour is very linked, even aside from issues with being organised.

I do understand that wanting more feeling though. It's only fair really. If you work hard, living a life with no treats at all is miserable- what are you working for, exactly?

I'm not the best at budgeting. As soon as I'm paid, I pay my rent, bus fare, loan repayment, prescription fee and counselling. Then I have around 550pm left, which isn't all that much really. I don't save much tbh, I've had a pension rebate from last job so I'm going to share the majority of that. I have treated myself today though- a lovely strawberry gin and lemonade, some new gel pens and a colouring book, and the new Linda la plante.

Of that 550, I do have an expensive phone contract- not an iPhone but I use a lot of data in work due to no WiFi etc. I think Netflix/Spotify/now TV etc are pretty normal expenses now? For entertainment etc. Same as the odd takeaway- yeah I do take breakfast to work and homecook but at the same time, I work hard for my money so if I fancy s Costa coffee or a pizza what's the point of working if I can't enjoy life?

Obviously rent and bills come first. I transfer rent money to a seperate account and keep it separate so I can never spend it accidentally. But I don't see the problem in loving life. Even if that does mean you live off cupboard food for the last week each month and can't really save(and yes I do refer to myself as skint in those times. I'm hardly buying champagne the rest of the tkme- just a standard Life)

I've no doubt I could save money by painstakingly buying only yellow sticker foods, by never buying a new book, by wearing shoes til the soles fall out, by never having a takeaway meal or coffee, by not enjoying leisure time by watching TV, etc. But that wouldn't be living. That's existing. I'm much happier with my twice a week costs visit, once a fortnight dominos, enjoying life

I don't think life should be a boring drudgery of grey. I don't think anyone who works, should expect that as their life. Why shouldn't people who work have treats, luxuries, enjoy themselves? Why should they deny themselves pleasure? Of course there's priorities such as rent and bills. The poster who said she purposely doesn't pay all the bills in order to have fun, for example. Am sure your DC would prefer heating and lighting than a trip to the zoo. But outside that I don't see the issue in having fun. I certainly don't see the point in saving loads while living a miserable life. I certainly don't see why anyone feels the need to be virtuous for being extremely tight

Totally agree op!

@IAmALazyArse thank you that's really helpful. Perhaps you aren't a lazyarse but your ADHD makes you think you are?
I'm constantly thinking I should be doing more despite working almost full time and bringing up a child alone. I'd love to get my nails and hair done weekly but can't be arsed so at least that saves money!
Kudos to the pp with the £1 nail polish that she bought with the £1 she found on the bus - you are my hero!

I agree OP, however you have inadvertently started a who’s poorest competition thread,

It's not as simple as money, it's about attitudes. When I was still teaching because we were all paid on the same scales we knew more or less what each other earned. There were always those who lived from one overdraft to the next but couldn't understand that we didn't replace the car regularly, move up the housing ladder etc etc. If everyone were given £1m tomorrow and had no access to any other money by the end of the year some would be better off than others, it's human nature.

It astounds me how many adults don't even know what APR stands for, let alone what the current interest rate is.
They go out buying stuff on credit with no regard as to how much it's actually going to cost them to repay.
Like that bloody DFS and it's never ending sale, which must end on Sunday...quite which Sunday is never revealed.
Buy now, pay in 4 years. Right..... except in 4 years time, the sofas will be knackered and so you replace them with another 4 years credit....get on the none stop merry go round of repayment at rip off prices. If you really believe the interest free rubbish then you must have mash for brains.
The interest is added to the price of the sofa, of which incidentally, us usually the smaller 2 seater sofa which is on offer, if you want a matching 3 seater then you will have to pay 4 times more for it.
They're not as daft as the customer.

@OhamIreally Thank you😁
I learned that at work where everything had to be logged. It was so easy to keep track! So I started using similar things at home. Try it. You will see, maybe it will help you get organised.
There is a saying (not in UK) which is untranslatable so in a short.
Things you don't see all the time leave your mind. If that makes sense
That's why it's important having organisers on a visible place you pass often.

YABU to say "people don't budget carefully enough these days". Lots of people budget carefully, and some - like your friends - don't.

I think your AIBU is actually "AIBU to think my friends shouldn't buy expensive gadgets when they can't afford the rent"?

Some people see an iPhone as a non negotiable - no longer a privilege but a right to own one.

50 years ago this thread would have been about having central heating or an inside toilet as an unthinkable extravagance for people struggling to pay rent.

None of that about the sofas is correct. DFS do offer interest free credit but all the sofas were on offer when I went in recently, not just the two seaters. There is no discount for not taking credit (which I didn't as I hate credit) and there was no hard sell on the credit.
DFS have reasonable prices compared to all the other shops I went to, some of which didn't offer credit at all, so while the price of the credit is, of course, built in, it's not like you can get a cheaper sofa anyway.

Had much more annoying hard sell on the financing last time I bought a car, that was very tedious. Still paid up front though.

I've realised as i get older that my budgeting / spending habits are yet another way I'm turning into my mother!

Hardcore budgeting followed by a moment of lunacy - hence my 4 hoovers.

I find it very hard to budget, I am trying. I prioritise my outgoings, I am never late for payments but I thank my lucky stars I am paid weekly. Many times I have been broke on a Wednesday.
I save a small amount I dont spend lots on my myself.
Even with my budget there is always an extra to be paid shoes or coats, after school activities, broke appliances, family birthday gifts, DC invited to a party it all adds up.
Maybe when the DC are older it'll be easier.

YANBU. It is the modern world where we are all bombarded with messages like you deserve this, now. Or YOLO so might as well defer consequences until later and enjoy things now.