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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Housemate woes

110 replies

Goodlookingcreature · 03/09/2019 20:07

I recently moved in short term to a house share with the owner occupied. When I moved in it was just me and him, he said he didn’t use a microwave so I said I’d buy my own. He moved a 3rd person in and I asked him to buy a microwave; he said that I said I’d purchase one as he doesn’t use it. No problem, it’s just that there’s a new person living here now and I don’t want to be the freak saying nobody is allowed use microwave. He said the new guy didn’t eat in the house and it won’t be an issue.

Purchased microwave and sure enough new guy uses it. He’s moved a 4rd person in and they think the house comes equipped with a microwave.

What would you do?

I’m only here short term for work

OP posts:
JonSlow · 03/09/2019 22:02

Lock microwave in your room.

Malvinaa81 · 03/09/2019 22:04

It is possible, OP that you are not really made for a house share......

Goodlookingcreature · 03/09/2019 22:05

Is it fair if I start using other people’s pots and crockery and helping myself to things in communal spaces that don’t belong to me?

OP posts:
TheRealShatParp · 03/09/2019 22:09

How is the microwave ‘issue’ bothering you more than the disgusting text messages he has sent you. I’d be long gone.

FloydWasACat · 03/09/2019 22:12

Sorry OP, I am not trying to be nasty, but that was a huge jelly flood of a drip feed there. Please get out (taking the microwave with you). What sort of cretin sends you texts like that and then is normal face-to-face? And why would his partner be funny about a woman moving in? And why did then move two other people in with much prior warning?
I know it is only for six weeks, but your post has made me feel really anxious for you.

Btw, if he tries anything slam his penis in the microwave door, doubt anyone will want to use it much after that Flowers

FloydWasACat · 03/09/2019 22:16

And why did he then move two other people in without much prior warning?
Sorry, very tired

Cambionome · 03/09/2019 22:17

Oh ffs - get over yourself with the bloody microwave. It's a total non-issue.

The landlord is the thing you ought to be worried about.

icontrolthebullshitnow · 03/09/2019 22:20

Sally is such an underused name @SallyLovesCheese

I only know one, besides you Smile

Tootytata · 03/09/2019 22:22

How much was the microwave?!

I agree with PP. Move out asap and take the microwave with you! Your landlord sounds crazy and potential dangerous!

StrawberrySquash · 03/09/2019 22:31

You wanted a microwave so you bought yourself one. Having bought it it's a sunk cosr, so let others use it. A bit like my housemate bought a fancy TV that I'd never have bought,, but we all watched it and ditched mine which we'd previously watched.
The texts on the other hand...

HollowTalk · 03/09/2019 22:32

I hope you send those texts to his wife when you leave.

billy1966 · 03/09/2019 22:59

Definitely forward those texts to his partner when you leave. Sleaze bag.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/09/2019 23:59

Am I the only who thinks the texts are from the partner?

OneSliceIsNeverEnough · 04/09/2019 00:21

I think you should heat up his massage oil in the microwave then offer him a massage.

I see why you're annoyed, the principle. Also male housemates plus microwave (can) equal gross microwave. World's hardest think to clean.

If the microwave is expensive, go ahead and remove the fuse secretly. If not, let them use it then cook something stinky in it every night at 3am.

This is 99% because he'sa sleaze though.

MorganKitten · 04/09/2019 00:23

Let the others know it’s yours or move it to your room. Not really an issue.

donquixotedelamancha · 04/09/2019 00:30

About a month into the living situation he was texting me telling me he’d massage me, I’d sleep after his massages, telling me I needed a good ride to make me tired and saying “I’ll bet you’re a horny bitch”.

But the microwave is the important issue?

JamieLeeBee · 04/09/2019 01:15

I'm intrigued to know why you put the air fryer away but not the microwave if it's such an issue. Also, why even buy it if you're only there temporary, it's not exactly a necessity.

It is also slightly strange how the landlord was portrayed as a creep and then all of a sudden being defended. I'm very confused by this whole thread now.

So, if the third or fourth person has a sudden overwhelming urge that they need to use a microwave, are you going to ensure they each buy their own and then line them up on the worktop, to ensure the landlord doesn't ask you to straighten them like the car or move them elsewhere like the apples?

areukiddingme · 04/09/2019 01:25

What would I do... I would ask my mum to tell him off for using my microwave.

hotwaterbottle12 · 04/09/2019 01:34

hence asking what would everyone else do?

I would move because there's a safety issue living there.

LovePoppy · 04/09/2019 02:07

Because you refuse to see the forest for the trees, and seem to blame a woman for your male landlord being a skeeze...

I’m aware the microwave issue is trivial, hence asking what would everyone else do?
I’d build a bridge, get the fuck over it, and take it when I left. It’s not that hard

MyNewBearTotoro · 04/09/2019 07:10

I’ve always shared pots and crockery in shared houses. However if in your living set up it’s usual for people to have their own things then just inform your housemates that the microwave is yours and that you don’t want them to use it. If you haven’t made it obvious that it’s yours or made it obvious that you’re not willing to share it you can’t complain when people use it.

Hirsutefirs · 04/09/2019 07:18

Booby-trap the microwave with some sort of treacle bomb.

Or padlock it.

PerkyPomPoms · 04/09/2019 07:24

Ffs if others using the microwave chaps your ass then move it to your room. If you just want to moan over how you were duped into buying one that’s ok too - just say so

Goodlookingcreature · 04/09/2019 07:25

I'm intrigued to know why you put the air fryer away but not the microwave if it's such an issue. Also, why even buy it if you're only there temporary, it's not exactly a necessity.
Because I work really long hours and don’t have time to cook fresh dinner each evening so I batch cook and heat up the food each evening, I make porridge for breakfast. Two mins in microwave happy days

It is also slightly strange how the landlord was portrayed as a creep and then all of a sudden being defended. I'm very confused by this whole thread now.

How am I defending him? He is really nice face to face, one to one. He is lovely actually. When I moved in, he was fine with it. His partner, who didn’t live here, started to appear here every evening. Every time
I was home from work she was here with her kids. Her little girl would always come into where I was (including my room!) to say hi, which I didn’t mind at all, and she would never let the child speak to me and would come in after her, take her away and ignore me herself. He said a months rent was fine to move in, two days after I move in he was looking for two months rent as a deposit. He was fine with me working from home initially, then one day I got a text telling me if I was working from home I must pay extra per day or for rent as a whole. If my boyfriend wants to stay, it’s £25 per night BUT when he’s here on his own he just says that as long as boyfriend doesn’t plan on staying here every night, one or two nights is no big deal. I had to sign a lease, which I didn’t mind but he was very apologetic about, as she insisted on it.

I let all that go because in the grand scheme of things, does it matter? I could afford the deposit. I could just go into work, I go back to my own home at the weekend, I signed the lease.

When I moved in it was just the two of us, he said he didn’t watch tv but if I wanted he would get the channels in. I said no I watched Netflix just. The microwave discussion came up. When he told me to buy it, it was because it wasn’t going to be used in the household. Had everything else not happened I would not be as petty, the creepy texts that were sent over a course of a few days and I didn’t engage with, acting normal like it never happened and being lovely to my face straight after, and then the passive aggressive texts just looking for issues I mean who cares how straight a car is parked? The texts were sleezy, but I would be lying if I said I felt scared or threatened or even that he was a bad person because while I might not actually like him, I can’t say that he’s ever made me feel unsafe, (uncomfortable maybe!) and he isn’t a bad person. Probably a bit of a CF!

OP posts:
LittleLongDog · 04/09/2019 08:04

he isn’t a bad person

Trying to cheat on his partner doesn’t make him a bad person?