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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drinking on a school trip?

333 replies

Flower64 · 03/09/2019 16:19

I contacted my child's school after a camping trip to ask about the teachers drinking on one of the evenings. My child said there was a lot of laughing, screeching and in her opinion the teachers were drunk. She's 13 so not a young child and I think she'd recognise someone drinking. I got an email reply today and part of it says "some staff did stay up later than the children one night, but at no point were any staff drunk. As an additional precaution two staff members consumed no alcohol at all".

AIBU to surmise then that the remaining staff members did have a drink - but in their opinion they weren't drunk - and is this actually acceptable? I don't think any teachers should be drinking on a school trip but now I am doubting myself and looking for opinions please!

OP posts:
Shalom23 · 03/09/2019 22:28

I have been on about 10 residential trios abroad with teenagers including three week exbiditions, ski trips and European trips. Also I have been in charge of countless DofE weekend camping trips. On every single one of them staff including myself drank. With dinner or in the evening, a glass or two . I now never go on them due to the lack of gratitude as displayed by OP. My free time is now my own.

Mistressiggi · 03/09/2019 22:29

I really hope posters stressing about teachers needing a drink to cope will inform their own bosses that no alcohol should be served at any conference venue they might go to, hotels without licences are booked and maybe the Christmas do should involve a bowling trip instead of a hotel with booze.
If it was me, what I would need after a day on a school trip is a bar of chocolate, my own bed and a cuddle with my dc (which I wouldn't get), but I would settle for two glasses of wine and a chat with workmates.

MinecraftMother · 03/09/2019 22:29

Well, this is embarrassing...

Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:30

The competition over hours isn't relevant at all.

Im not sure why. Teachers work with kids what 5-6 hours a day. My day is around 10 give or take half an hour. Surely that's double the stress? And I don't even get a tea or lunch break!

JellyfishAndShells · 03/09/2019 22:31

This again ? I swear this tutting, pursed lipped type of post crops up twice a year - once after skiing holidays and once after summer ones.

spanglydangly · 03/09/2019 22:33

I have been on about 10 residential trios abroad with teenagers including three week exbiditions, ski trips and European trips. Also I have been in charge of countless DofE weekend camping trips. On every single one of them staff including myself drank. With dinner or in the evening, a glass or two . I now never go on them due to the lack of gratitude as displayed by OP. My free time is now my own.

And that @Shalom23 is a crying shame and future children will miss out.

Piggywaspushed · 03/09/2019 22:33

There definitely was one with another telltale 13 year old girl really not that long ago. I swear people are even copying and pasting the exact same responses!!

BringOnTheScience · 03/09/2019 22:35

Teachers work with kids what 5-6 hours a day. ... they also plan, prepare, mark, have meetings, compile data, field queries from parents.... the actual teaching is only part of the job!

mbosnz · 03/09/2019 22:35

If someone takes my kid off my hands (love them dearly) and takes them on an educational trip and for once we don't have to donate a parent, I am so profoundly grateful.

Given that they're 13 in OP's case, and 14 and above in mine, I assume they can manage to brush their teeth and get to sleep without someone setting a timer or singing a lullaby.

And perhaps we ought to keep in mind just how rarely the 'what if's' happen? And how little we allow these to rule our lives because they'd actually cramp our styles a little bit? We seem to think teachers should be a cross between nuns and saints. With a little bit of Florence Nightingale and Mary Poppins thrown into the mix. And not exactly for the big bucks.

ShadyLady53 · 03/09/2019 22:36

I really hope posters stressing about teachers needing a drink to cope will inform their own bosses that no alcohol should be served at any conference venue they might go to, hotels without licences are booked and maybe the Christmas do should involve a bowling trip instead of a hotel with booze.

It’s not about being a killjoy or thinking that we need to go back to the times of Prohibition for goodness sake. It’s just that it’s been heavily implied on this thread that it’s utterly unfathomable that any teacher could get through a Residential without a couple of glasses of wine every evening. And so many posters said “I’d need a couple of glasses of wine if I was on a residential too.” It’s as if it’s ludicrous to suggest it’s possible to go without alcohol for a night or two when you are responsible for children. Alcohol seems to be a necessity and any suggestion that it might be sensible or even possible to not drink on a residential is met with animosity and ridicule.

Mistressiggi · 03/09/2019 22:42

I would suggest it's very sensible not to drink on a work night out or at a conference.

AlexaAmbidextra · 03/09/2019 22:44

There definitely was one with another telltale 13 year old girl really not that long ago

It was a boy and he was sneaking about when he should have been in bed.

Piggywaspushed · 03/09/2019 22:46

Hmmm... still got the same responses! Like word for word!

SarahTancredi · 03/09/2019 22:47

The nspcc see no problem with mixed sex showers and sleeping areas so they can take their "one driving and one supervising" advice and shove it frankly...

tapdancingmum · 03/09/2019 22:47

After a day working with my preschoolers what I 'need' is a cup of tea and that's only because I don't drink. I would never begrudge anyone going home from work and having a glass of wine with dinner or whilst watching TV. The same with teachers on residential, they have done more than a full day's work and will have a rota as to who is on duty overnight so the others can relax whilst they are 'off duty' as it were.

Talking about business trips in the same way is no comparison as, I would think, once you had done your business you effectively clock off until the next day so can do whatever you wish during the evening. If you want to get rip-roaring drunk nobody would hold it against you but God forbid you are a teacher and want a glass of wine with your dinner before collapsing into bed before doing it all again tomorrow you are villified.

I should also imagine that where they were staying had staff on call so if anything happened they would be the ones to take the pupil and one teacher to a hospital unless it was that bad an ambulance was needed.

When my DD went on school residentials she came back saying she had seen the staff in the bar (as she was going to bed being one of the older ones) so I replied that I hoped they had had a good night. It would never cross my mind to complain about it.

IAcceptCookies · 03/09/2019 22:50

Errrrm, yes if an adults is doing something wrong or inappropriate I would expect a 13 year old to tell their parents, no matter how loathsome others think they are

But there was no evidence of anyone doing anything wrong or inappropriate. A child heard some adults having fun, that’s all. And then her mother complained to the school. Hmm

LolaSmiles · 03/09/2019 22:53

Im not sure why. Teachers work with kids what 5-6 hours a day. My day is around 10 give or take half an hour. Surely that's double the stress? And I don't even get a tea or lunch break!
Haha! I love school threads on MN. There's always some who try to turn any discussion into pages of misinformation about teacher jobs.

Usually in this order (or variations of)

  • make some dig about teaching working hours
  • hope teachers correct the clearly goady statements
  • make references to other careers being even more difficult and challenging (bonus points if lack of food, drink or toilets are mentioned)
  • somehow mention holidays as a way to push the thread hijack (e.g. ok so you might work long hours but you get all these paid holidays)
  • hope people point out the faults in the goady claims about holidays, which show almost zero awareness of teacher contracts
  • wait for the pile in to occur (usually same old faces turn up around now)
  • pile in faces have some sort of circle jerk where they point out to each other how this thread proves teachers think their lives and jobs are so much worse than anyone else, they have such as easy life, wouldn't manage in the real world (ignoring many teachers have worked outside of schools)

It's so predictable that it's hilarious and boring.

Welcome to the start of term everyone. Give it a couple of days and we can have the usual run of "I bought my child non uniform items and school said they were not uniform so sanctioned them" threads for a few weeks. Grin It's so predictable

Smidge001 · 03/09/2019 22:57

Yabvu

Lind57 · 03/09/2019 23:02

Yup. The summer holidays are over. The teacher bashing begins. It's only a few goady posters though. Most parents are reasonable, as this thread demonstrates.

rededucator · 03/09/2019 23:25

IAcceptCookies you e hit the nail on the head. Daughter heard adults having fun so assumed they were drunk and clipped to mum. Mum emailed with absolutely no evidence. How embarrassing for all involved.

LaBelleSauvage · 03/09/2019 23:29

What if one sober teacher had to take a child to hospital, and then the other one was mauled by an escaped lion from the zoo? What if then the campsite caught fire and all the other teachers were busy trying to contain the lion? Who would put the fire out?

What if there were 2 lions?

It'd be a complete disaster. And all because Mr Jenkins from Geography brought a bottle of pinit grigio.

Forget complaining to the school OP. You should have called the police.

lyralalala · 03/09/2019 23:36

What if there were 2 lions?

At the last school I worked in the HT said, semi-seriously, when we were planning a trip to the safari park “You do realise if a tiger escapes at least one parent will complain about your choice of trip?”

The previous trip two monkeys were shagging and a parent complained that the staff didn’t move the children on quick enough.

LaBelleSauvage · 03/09/2019 23:39

Outrageous behaviour by the monkeys- bet they'd been drinking too

LaBelleSauvage · 03/09/2019 23:40

Pinot

Tonnerre · 03/09/2019 23:54

Teachers work with kids what 5-6 hours a day. My day is around 10 give or take half an hour. Surely that's double the stress?

My day can be around 10 hours. However, none of it involves basically putting on a performance for 30 children for two hours at a stretch and or a total of 5-6 hours a day, let alone keeping those children in order, making sure all 30 are engaged and learning, making sure that the needs of children with SEN are met, being alert to deal with crises, supervising TAs - all before attending meetings and spending several more hours marking, doing lesson plans, writing reports etc etc. If I feel a bit rough one day I can probably rearrange my work to do the easier stuff - if I were a teacher that wouldn't be an option.

So no, unless you're something like an A&E doctor or a brain surgeon, I very much doubt that your work is double the stress of teaching.