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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Drinking on a school trip?

333 replies

Flower64 · 03/09/2019 16:19

I contacted my child's school after a camping trip to ask about the teachers drinking on one of the evenings. My child said there was a lot of laughing, screeching and in her opinion the teachers were drunk. She's 13 so not a young child and I think she'd recognise someone drinking. I got an email reply today and part of it says "some staff did stay up later than the children one night, but at no point were any staff drunk. As an additional precaution two staff members consumed no alcohol at all".

AIBU to surmise then that the remaining staff members did have a drink - but in their opinion they weren't drunk - and is this actually acceptable? I don't think any teachers should be drinking on a school trip but now I am doubting myself and looking for opinions please!

OP posts:

sparkles07 · 03/09/2019 21:43

YABU.
If you make the trips no fun for the teachers, you know they won't run the trips anymore right? Your child was cared for while the teacher relaxed.

Outedsochanged · 03/09/2019 21:46

Picked up my teen from guide camp a few weeks ago. Chatting to the guide leader who told me that they were all so knackered at the end of the day, they didn't even get to open the wine after the girls were in bed. I apologised and delivered extra bottles to them after

PurpleFlower1983 · 03/09/2019 21:48

YABU, teachers often drink on residentials.

Mumofboth · 03/09/2019 21:53

Yes YABU. Have you EVER drank whilst your child is asleep? It’s no different. You are the reason teachers dread dealing with parents.

TheDarkPassenger · 03/09/2019 21:53

I can’t believe how many people can’t get through a week without having a drink, that’s scary imo

AccioCats · 03/09/2019 21:54

You are THAT parent who’s the staffroom joke

Gindrinker43 · 03/09/2019 21:56

If that was Scouting/ Guiding trip there would be no drinking, and its' all volunatry and unpaid.

TheDarkPassenger · 03/09/2019 21:57

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t have. Been bothered personally but it is a bit sad

Also snitching on adults? Errrrm, yes if an adults is doing something wrong or inappropriate I would expect a 13 year old to tell their parents, no matter how loathsome others think they are. I would want my 13 year old to be able to tell me something, mostly so I could reassure her but y’know incase someone did something really inappropriate!

Sallyseagull · 03/09/2019 21:57

Another YABU over here.

Many many parents have a few drinks when in charge of their parents, as long as they arent drunk or putting the children in harm I dont see an issue.

Sallyseagull · 03/09/2019 21:58

In charge of their children*

Tableclothing · 03/09/2019 22:01

If that was Scouting/ Guiding trip there would be no drinking, and its' all volunatry and unpaid.

Things have changed a lot then.

Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:07

I can’t believe how many people can’t get through a week without having a drink, that’s scary imo

Isn't it. I work with kids every day of the week for much longer hours than a teacher, and I don't feel the need to crack open the wine as soon as I'm finished. It's scary how many people need alcohol to relax!

Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:09

I remember going on a ski trip and one of the teachers got so rat arsed she fell asleep on the floor of a girls dorm with no trousers on. It's OK though OP, teachers work so hard taking care of your spawn of satin, they need a drink to get through the stress

LolaSmiles · 03/09/2019 22:13

I better tell my colleagues that we shouldn't laugh too much on our next department residential trip in case someone up for stirring decides we're drunk and gets mummy to complain without any evidence.

There's quite a lot of sanctimonious posters on this thread, who I'm assuming never have a social drink that's responsible around their children or whilst they're in bed and also ensure that none of their friends or family do around their child.

It wouldn't do for teenagers to see that it's perfectly social to have a responsible drink and talk on an evening whilst being entirely responsible and not drunk. That would almost convey a healthy attitude to alcohol and we all know how terrible that would be.

What's also quite indicative of a new trend in schools is this idea of having half a story, going home making up a full narrative and then parents calling the school to complain. It's nice to see the majority of posters can see how this mallicious stirring risks opportunities not running because staff won't want to put themselves in a position where someone like the OP/their child could make up a whole story based on hearing someone being happy.

LolaSmiles · 03/09/2019 22:15

I work with kids every day of the week for much longer hours than a teacher, and I don't feel the need to crack open the wine as soon as I'm finished. It's scary how many people need alcohol to relax!
The competition over hours isn't relevant at all.
I also agree that it's worrying how many people use alcohol to relax .

The thing is, a group of adults enjoying a social drink in a responsible way isn't a sign that any of them NEED a drink to relax.

mbosnz · 03/09/2019 22:17

Wanting to have a social drink with colleagues after a hard day's work wrangling other peoples' revoltingoffspring, while unpaid and away from one's own family and friends, to try and extract some enjoyment out of the whole ordeal event, is quite different from either needing a drink - or getting so rat arsed she fell asleep on the floor of a girls dorm with no trousers on. Which to be fair to OP's offspring, is not what she reported to her fond parents. Possibly she lacked the imagination?

mossmurray · 03/09/2019 22:17

My DS was on a school camping expedition before the holidays, the teachers left then in the evening to go out for a meal.

When I collected my DS from the trip the only thing I did was thank the teachers for giving it their free time to give the kids this experience. Wouldn't have crossed my mind to complain

GreenTulips · 03/09/2019 22:19

*I can’t believe how many people can’t get through a week without having a drink, that’s scary imoi

Why? Residentials are once a year and they are being sociable with work colleagues. No harm was down.

DD was in a recent residential and their teachers had a glass or two with their meals. I didn’t bat an eyelid. Don’t see the problem.

ShadyLady53 · 03/09/2019 22:20

I agree that it’s scary. I work as a lecturer now but for almost two decades worked with children from 3 upwards in challenging roles, most of whom had additional needs, and extreme behavioural and emotional needs, many kids who were LAC or in pupil referral units. My job was challenging, upsetting, very very hard at times but I don’t understand how alcohol would have made a jot of difference?! Most days in my old job role I was hit by children, spat on, scratched, hair pulled out in chunks, had “dirty protests”, had to break up child on child violence etc...hours on end of that sort of behaviour. On worse days I’d have to deal with CP around suspected sexual abuse or child on child sexual exploitation, once had the contents of sanitary bin thrown at me, had to deal with abandoned children, missing children. My thought was never that I couldn’t wait to get home and pour a few glasses of wine.

I’m not trying to be at all smug, I just can’t really understand how people HAVE to drink to cope with doing a job with children. And yes, I’ve done long residentials too where none of my colleagues or I drank. Please can someone explain why they need to have alcohol to cope with looking after children? The vast majority of people on here have suggested it’s an absolute necessity and I’m finding it genuinely difficult to understand?

Stonerosie67 · 03/09/2019 22:20

Yep, rest assured op, you are being totally taken the piss out of in the staff room....this will run for years. Well done!

spanglydangly · 03/09/2019 22:22

If that was Scouting/ Guiding trip there would be no drinking, and its' all volunatry and unpaid.

Absolute utter bollocks!!! Scout and guide leaders drink ...... you're talking shit!

Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:24

God the " you'll be the joke of the staff room this week OP" mantra does get boring on these threads.

ShadyLady53 · 03/09/2019 22:26

No one is ever in the staff rooms in the schools I’ve worked in! They are always pretty much dead.

itsmecathycomehome · 03/09/2019 22:26

"God the " you'll be the joke of the staff room this week OP" mantra does get boring on these threads."

It's boring because you hear it a lot. You hear it a lot because it's true.

Drogosnextwife · 03/09/2019 22:27

The thing is, a group of adults enjoying a social drink in a responsible way isn't a sign that any of them NEED a drink to relax.

Its definitely being implied on this thread.

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