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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fuming. Should I get my deposit back or keep waiting?

71 replies

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 06:57

There is tattoo artist who's work I love, I had DS 4 months ago and obviously I would never get a tattoo while pregnant and then I've been waiting to recover and quite honestly working up to leaving DS for a few hours.
So the artist put up a tattoo on her facebook that I absolutely love, I ask for a quote, I'm happy with it, she won't book me in at all without a deposit.
That's okay and makes sense, DH drives past the shop every day on the way home from work and drops the deposit off on friday at 9am. When DH asks for a date she says as she been dealing with me online she'll message me her available dates in a few hours. The afternoon comes around and I've heard nothing, so I sent a polite message asking if she's checked her availability, the message was read but no reply.
Saturday I send a polite prompt email, I get a reply a few hours later saying shes working on her diary later that day and will message me then. I reply with a great thanks. That stays unread till very late that night but no reply.
Sunday lunchtime I message asking if she'd had time to check her diary the night before, no reply, not been read.
Yesterday i phoned the shop, I'm getting a bit irritated at this point.
Shes so sorry, super busy, she will 100% message me at around 4 in the afternoon.
No message, again, Facebook is still saying my message from sunday is unread.
Would you ask for your deposit back and essentially write off the artist as not worth the bother?
DH isn't happy and neither am I. Things slip peoples mind but it feels I've been lied to 3 times now.
I can't look or book elsewhere when she has a chunk of our money. And if something as simple as a booking date is a struggle how with the rest of the experience be? And now I'm feeling so angry that I think it would be hard not to be annoyed if a booking ever did happen.
I know mumsnet hate tattoos but you can see why I'm annoyed.
The rules state as long as an appointment is cancelled 48 hours prior you can have your deposit back, obviously I dont even have an appointment yet
Aibu to just go and get my deposit back?

OP posts:

jelly79 · 03/09/2019 06:59

How much was the deposit?

I'd pop in to the shop and either leave with an appt or your money. YANBU

C0untDucku1a · 03/09/2019 07:00

Do you have any personal
Recommendations?

Original poster

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 07:02

Do you have any personal
Recommendations?

Yes! That's what's so ridiculous! My sister has been tattooed by her 3 times and has had no issues at all and the artwork she has is gorgeous.

OP posts:

snitzelvoncrumb · 03/09/2019 07:02

I would ask dh to go and get the deposit back.

ReasonedCamper · 03/09/2019 07:03

YANBU, but it does sound as if you are getting wound up quite quickly. I repeated messages over the weekend...

Since you do love the tattoo I would send a very calm message like ‘hi, it seems as if you are very busy for new appointments at the moment, I’m trying to get this sorted out so let me know by the end of the day if you are able to fit me in before xxx (your deadline for getting it done), otherwise DH can pick up my deposit tomorrow morning. Thanks”

BeanBag7 · 03/09/2019 07:04

Go into the shop and dont leave until you've been given an appointment or a refund. She can't fob you off if you're literally there in front of her.

Original poster

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 07:06

I am getting wound up. I've tried not to but it's a nice treat for me.
I know shes not going to run off with the money, it's not worth risking an artist's reputation for.
I think it's more the fact she keeps telling me she will get back to me by X, and then it comes and goes with bo message. Then again, and again.
I am excited which is making me both anxious and impatient and the lack of communication is irritating.
I think if she said she was super busy and she'd get back to me in a week, I'd think it was a long wait but at least I'd know where I stood.

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/09/2019 07:11

I wonder if she has stolen some artwork from another tattooist and is now worried as she won't be able to do that design.

MarigoldGlove · 03/09/2019 07:13

I wouldn’t find this that irritating. It’s only been a few days and there has been a weekend in those few days during which she was presumably very busy with work and her own life. As people are when they work weekends.

I think you are annoyed because you’ve waited ages already and now you really really want it done.

She probably hasn’t ‘lied’ to you. She’s just forgotten.

I’d be worried if it wasn’t an established business but it is.

EmmiJay · 03/09/2019 07:18

Bingo! What Bernadette said.

lotusbell · 03/09/2019 07:18

I would go to the shop myself and ask for a date. It doesn't take long to check a diary for available dates, especially if your business depends on it. Don't cut your nose of to spite your face though, such as saying you'll go elsewhere as she may rebuff you, especially if she is very business and won't miss your custom. If she is reluctant to give you a date, I'd ask for the deposit back though. I'd only be paying a deposit if it were booked.

ThanosSavedMe · 03/09/2019 07:18

So you paid ithe deposit on Friday and have contacted her at least 4 times since then. You do know you’re not her only client. She’s probably been working, maybe she has one day a week she sorts admin out. She should t have told you that she was going to get back to you at a certain time and then not get back to you, that’s not good. If I were her I’d be thinking you’re a nightmare client and want to give the deposit back.

adaline · 03/09/2019 07:20

I wouldn't book anything like this online - I would go into the shop and speak to the tattooist in person and get a feel for them and the atmosphere before paying a deposit.

When I got my tattoo they would only take deposits in person and after a discussion between the tattooist and the client. As it should be.

I would get your money back and go somewhere more professional.

2015newstart · 03/09/2019 07:21

I think YABU. You have no idea what's going on in her life or how busy she is. You've also messaged her once a day since Friday, which is bordering on pestering especially as you acknowledge she's unlikely to run off with your money.

Give her until Thursday before messaging again.

Walkerbean16 · 03/09/2019 07:23

It's been a few days over a weekend! I think you are being a bit OTT!

Original poster

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 07:25

I've been worried its half a dozen of one and 6 of the other.
I think checking a diary must not take long, I'm super flexible when it comes to date and time so would have accepted anything, even a few months away. And she is the one who keeps giving me times she'll let me know by, then doesn't. And it's a bit stressful, it's hard to see your messages being ignored when you've given someone your money and it just seems off.

On the other hand I'm worried I'm coming off as impatient and annoying. I know shes busy (or I assume she is because her art is lovely), I didn't want to start a bad working relationship either so I've tried to keep my messages light and friendly. She was bloody lovely on the phone yesterday, and said she knew I was waiting and she had admin time sorted for that day and was finishing work early to do it.

DH is annoyed too and wishes he hadn't left the deposit without an appointment, he knows I'm not bothered when it gets done.
I think it might be the control freak in me coming out that just wants to know what's going on and when

OP posts:

Tippety · 03/09/2019 07:27

She should have given you an appointment when the deposit was paid, the whole point of paying it is that it secures that appointment and they get some financial compensation if you don't turn up to it. Knowing that tattoos can be expensive guessing it isn't just a fiver either, surprised by the amount of people who think this is okay; it's still a business, and one which has your money. I would go in person and just say if there isn't the availability then you'll take your deposit back. I have several tattoos, and whenever I've booked in they've just had standard outlook type calendars, not sure what takes so much planning (and if there is an issue ie they're not sure when they'll be working due to personal issues then they should let you know). It sounds like it may be an issue with the design.

PineappleTart · 03/09/2019 07:30

I know a few tattoo artists and Fridays/ Saturdays are usually really busy for them, non-stop. I would suspect that the diary lives in the shop, so if the studio isn't open on a Sunday then chances are they wouldn't have diary availability on hand.

Soontobe60 · 03/09/2019 07:30

I can't understand those who are saying that she's not out of order. This is her business! How many of you would give a hairdresser a deposit then wait for an appointment? You just wouldn't! The woman hasn't been working 24/7 since Friday. Having been paid a deposit, the first thing she should have done was email the client with some dates. How long can it take to check a diary??.? If she was not able to sort this she should have told the OP she'd get back to her after the weekend. Instead, she's fobbed her off.

Op, go to the shop yourself today and either book an appointment or get your deposit back.

00Sassy · 03/09/2019 07:34

You are being impatient in my opinion.
I’d have waited until Monday before contacting to ask if she’d had time to check her availability, and chased up every other day or so.

That said, it’s a bit flaky to specify a time you’ll respond and then not do, but I suspect she’s felt a bit put on the spot by you at the time.

Unreasonable123 · 03/09/2019 07:43

On the other hand I'm worried I'm coming off as impatient and annoying

You are. Chill out. It’s been a few days and over a weekend.

TwelveThirtyTwo · 03/09/2019 07:50

You are hassling her and coming across as demanding.
I agree she should contact you when promised but chasing her daily and over the weekend is rude.

You have said she's extremely talented so is obviously in demand.
I would have you marked down as a nightmare customer and wouldn't be in a rush to contact you.

Jayaywhynot · 03/09/2019 07:50

Shes busy, if shes that good she will be booked up with client's, when the shop is closed she will be doing the artwork / drawing up the designs for her up coming clients. It's only been a couple of days, give her a chance. I'd be more worried if she got back to you straight away and you got an appointment soon as that would indicate that she wasn't busy = not a very good tattoo artist. I'd wait, it sounds like shes worth waiting for. I have several tattoos, trust me, its worth waiting for an appointment for a good artist

Kahlua4me · 03/09/2019 07:51

It has only been a few days since your dh dropped off the deposit. I also think you need to chill and give her time to sort it out. Perhaps leave it until Friday and then pop in there to ask if you haven’t heard from her.

Sunday may have been her only day off. I run my own business and we get customers ringing at all times wanting to book work, or talk about it without thinking that we may want time off from work.

Original poster

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 07:52

😬
Dratts. I was worried about being that client.
I don't think it helped that I was mentioning it to family over the weekend, and while I was trying to keep calm and forget about it, they knew I'd paid the deposit (super excited and all) they'd asked the date and when I told them they were very much of the thought "you've paid, message again now, it's not professional to be fobbed off like this". Which got me wound up again, so I messaged again.
My sister said alot of people are very blaise about it all and she wouldn't message again for a week, she might have been the voice of reason.
But I have plenty of tattoos from different artists and different studios, and the rule is normally your deposit is essentially paying for your appointment time right there and then. Without a confirmed slot it kind of feels like I've paid for nothing and its just not the way its normally done, including other artists and the owner from the shop in question.

OP posts:

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