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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming. Should I get my deposit back or keep waiting?

71 replies

MsHopey · 03/09/2019 06:57

There is tattoo artist who's work I love, I had DS 4 months ago and obviously I would never get a tattoo while pregnant and then I've been waiting to recover and quite honestly working up to leaving DS for a few hours.
So the artist put up a tattoo on her facebook that I absolutely love, I ask for a quote, I'm happy with it, she won't book me in at all without a deposit.
That's okay and makes sense, DH drives past the shop every day on the way home from work and drops the deposit off on friday at 9am. When DH asks for a date she says as she been dealing with me online she'll message me her available dates in a few hours. The afternoon comes around and I've heard nothing, so I sent a polite message asking if she's checked her availability, the message was read but no reply.
Saturday I send a polite prompt email, I get a reply a few hours later saying shes working on her diary later that day and will message me then. I reply with a great thanks. That stays unread till very late that night but no reply.
Sunday lunchtime I message asking if she'd had time to check her diary the night before, no reply, not been read.
Yesterday i phoned the shop, I'm getting a bit irritated at this point.
Shes so sorry, super busy, she will 100% message me at around 4 in the afternoon.
No message, again, Facebook is still saying my message from sunday is unread.
Would you ask for your deposit back and essentially write off the artist as not worth the bother?
DH isn't happy and neither am I. Things slip peoples mind but it feels I've been lied to 3 times now.
I can't look or book elsewhere when she has a chunk of our money. And if something as simple as a booking date is a struggle how with the rest of the experience be? And now I'm feeling so angry that I think it would be hard not to be annoyed if a booking ever did happen.
I know mumsnet hate tattoos but you can see why I'm annoyed.
The rules state as long as an appointment is cancelled 48 hours prior you can have your deposit back, obviously I dont even have an appointment yet Angry
Aibu to just go and get my deposit back?

OP posts:
DoomsdayCult · 03/09/2019 07:53

I think you are being too impatient and demanding.
Deposit was dropped off Friday. The weekend Saturday/Sunday would have already been fully booked with appointments.
So next work day to do admin stuff like set future appointments is Monday. So I would not expect a message until Monday.
But you’ve been messaging her repeatedly all weekend long.
Sorry but YABU.

SunshineCake · 03/09/2019 07:56

I think you have over messaged her but I wouldn't feel comfortable having her tattoo me so I'd go to the shop and not leave without my deposit back.

DoomsdayCult · 03/09/2019 07:59

“the rule is normally your deposit is essentially paying for your appointment time right there and then. Without a confirmed slot it kind of feels like I've paid for nothing and its just not the way its normally done, including other artists and the owner from the shop in question.”

This is true but since your DH took the deposit in for you and did not know your schedule well enough to book the appointment then, it is normal practice to contact you, the actual customer, to arrange the appointment.

Original poster
MsHopey · 03/09/2019 08:02

I'm a stay at home mom.
He definitely knows my plans enough.
I can only get it done when hes not at work as he'll be the one with the boys when I have it done, so he probably knows the schedule better than me.

OP posts:
00q007 · 03/09/2019 08:04

If I was tho shady I'd be super annoyed at you now- give the woman a chance and stop pestering her!

LiveInAHidingPlace · 03/09/2019 08:05

You sound really impatient.

It would annoy me, as a business owner.

Hwory · 03/09/2019 08:05

Ah yes I’ve had this.

When you’re dealing with creative people you have to put up with their flaky ness if you want their art.

Weekends are busy times - I would have waited until Tuesday.

Redglitter · 03/09/2019 08:08

On the other hand I'm worried I'm coming off as impatient and annoying

I think that's pretty much a certainty

Sn0tnose · 03/09/2019 08:12

I think you need to calm down a bit. You’re quite right to say that you wouldn’t normally pay a deposit without a confirmed slot, but you wouldn’t normally get someone else to drop the deposit off for you without going in and booking the appointment there and then.

As others have said, weekends are normally the busiest time for tattoo artists, especially over summer and especially if they’re worth waiting for. Although you can estimate how long a tattoo will take, and as you have tattoos yourself, you’ll know that if the client decides to make last minute changes, or doesn’t sit well, or needs lots of breaks, that can throw a schedule out and mean that admin etc, has to take a back seat.

PookieDo · 03/09/2019 08:23

Hmm well no I wouldn’t want to pay a deposit on something I didn’t even have a date for happening

What you find with tattoists is that they don’t seem to really give priority to smaller pieces in the same way they do very large lucrative pieces that need a lot of work. I have also found this, mine are small and didn’t take that long, I was given an appointment once only to turn up and find they had carried on doing a larger piece an I ended up sitting waiting for an hour so I didn’t lose my deposit.

adaline · 03/09/2019 08:28

I'm surprised people are saying OP is being unreasonable.

Would you really be happy paying a deposit for something with no guarantee of an appointment time?

MarigoldGlove · 03/09/2019 08:40

But most people would have been dropping the deposit off themselves. Not through a third party. I wouldn’t want to make an appointment with the person the client was married to rather than the client if I had a busy appointment book.

Funnyface1 · 03/09/2019 08:50

You take a deposit when there is a firm plan to do something. She won't even let you book an appointment. That's not right in my opinion. Get down there and get your money back, she shouldn't have it.

Sarahandco · 03/09/2019 09:03

You should not have given the deposit until the appointment time was given or more to the point, the artist should have told you not to give the deposit until she has an appointment to offer you.

However, I would give some time for them to come back to you. It actually has not been that long and over a weekend too.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 03/09/2019 09:05

No offence OP but I would happily give you youre deposit back just to get you off my back, is this your first tatt?

FuriousVexation · 03/09/2019 09:15

After 2 working days? 🙄

Original poster
MsHopey · 03/09/2019 09:17

Nope. Itll be my 12th.
Like I said, I've always used the deposit to reserve a booking time.
I dont care if its next week or 3 months.
My sister has talked me off the ledge and I've told DH I'll deal with it all from now on. It just made sense for him to drop off the deposit as he drives passed the studio 6 days a week as it's by his work, but it's a 30 minute drive so it seemed silly for him to come home, then me get in the car, drive down and pay the deposit when most the details had been sorted already.
I will wait till the start of next week and send no more messages.
Then after that I'll have to rethink. But 🤞🏻 and hopefully she just realises I'm exciting and a little anxious, not just a nightmare.

OP posts:
Meirou90 · 03/09/2019 09:19

As it’s a permanent mark on your body, I’d definitely wait quite a while before she contacts you. If she’s that good then it will be worth waiting for. As you’ve only been waiting since Friday, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

maddening · 03/09/2019 09:20

Just go in to the shop and ask to arrange the date in person.

Honeyroar · 03/09/2019 09:23

I don't think it's wrong to expect to know an appointment time when they've taken your money off you, and I think it's a bit unprofessional of her. However if your sister has used her a few times at least you know she's genuine and isn't ripping you off, so try and sit on your hands!

TheAlternativeTentacle · 03/09/2019 09:30

Perhaps...she wasn't even working this weekend?

Just go round and talk to her.

DuMondeB · 03/09/2019 09:38

Unfortunately lots of arty people are lacking in organisation skills - not such a problem if you are painting walls or pictures but annoying for tattoo customers! This is why lots of tattooers have desk staff to keep diaries for them.

Personally, I wouldn’t give a deposit until I was actually booking in - all one transaction, but I can see why you thought it would be easy to get your DH to drop it in.

I agree with pp - she’s likely a sole trader and might not take that much time off - I know with some of my tattooer friends they get scores of messages all day and night via various social media so it’s not unusual to stop reading them in order to get a proper break.

Leave it a bit and then go in the shop in person (make sure she’s in work that day though).

Beautiful3 · 03/09/2019 09:38

If she is talented, she's busy. I would actually go to her shop early one morning as they are opening up, to book an appointment.

LazyLizzy · 03/09/2019 09:53

I would just pop in and say you were passing, you can check diaries now to check both got an available date.

Ravenblack · 03/09/2019 09:55

@MsHopey

I am in 2 minds tbh. On the one hand, your DH should not have given the deposit money til she gave an appointment time. OTOH, it has only been 2 working days really. I don't know how tattooists work their schedule. It does sound a BIT sloppy but I would give it til say, Thursday morn, then go see her and ask her for the appointment date.

How much was the deposit?

@Sarahandco

You should not have given the deposit until the appointment time was given or more to the point, the artist should have told you not to give the deposit until she has an appointment to offer you.

This. ^

Agree with a few pps though OP, you should have sorted this yourself and not got DH to do it. Nevertheless, she should not really have taken the deposit off him without giving an appointment time, If she was too busy to spend 60 seconds booking an appointment, then she should not have taken the money off him.

How do you know she hasn't lost the money/dropped it somewhere? Did your DH see where did she put it? In her pocket? In the till? Where? (I am assuming it was cash?)

Hopefully she will be getting back to you soon!

And as I said, how much was this deposit?

@JustAnotherPoster00

No offence OP but I would happily give you you're deposit back just to get you off my back, is this your first tatt?

Unhelpful, unnecessary, and rude.