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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect him to do something about his dad's snoring

68 replies

Howdidido · 03/09/2019 03:37

Posted earlier this weekend. DH was away at event with his dad and his mum had invited herself to stay with me. Not happy about it but I'd left it too long to really say anything about it so had (with MN sympathy) decided to suck it up. I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
FIL joined DH to journey back from event together and decided to stay an additional 2 nights. I went to work as usual yesterday and will be tomorrow. Except I've been awake since midnight listening to FIL snoring. He's on a different floor but the volume is amazing. After 2 hours I finally decide I'm getting nowhere and will read a book in bed to calm me down because im betting really pissed off.

DH woke really pissed off I'd woken him. When I said I'd been awake for ages he said "what I am meant to do about it?". I feel like he should do something about it. He feels like I should turn the light off and carry on trying to sleep.
I have a long commute. And a long day tomorrow. And it looks like I'm going to have to do it on less than 2 hours sleep. And I'm so pissed off that it's unlikely that I will be able to fall asleep just from exhaustion.
For background FIL (and MIL) and my relationship is fine but it's not close enough that I could say anything to him at 3am. He'd be mortified if he knew he was keeping me awake though.

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 03/09/2019 03:40

What did you expect DH to do?

SucculentCandle · 03/09/2019 03:41

What, exactly, do you expect your DH to do about his Dad's snoring?

isabellerossignol · 03/09/2019 03:41

I think that whilst it's annoying there isn't realistically anything your husband can do. It's not as if he can wake his dad and ask him not to snore because he's not snoring deliberately. It's not the same as eg if he was listening to the radio loudly in his room.

I understand how frustrating it is not to be able to sleep though.

Original poster
Howdidido · 03/09/2019 03:43

Well when DH snores I wake him.

So I am being unreasonable? What am I supposed to do? I'm very tired to happy to accept that IABU if I am And that this is my problem to deal with if that's the case.

OP posts:
tryingtobebetterallthetime · 03/09/2019 03:48

You need to get some good earplugs. They work like a charm.

Sweetpea55 · 03/09/2019 03:48

I feel for you OP. It's terrible when you can't sleep. Snoring is like a road drill in your head.
YBU. to expect DH to sort out his dad's snoring
What can he do?
Get earplugs.... book into a hotel for a night or stay with a friend

Upsiedasie · 03/09/2019 04:06

Realistically, I don’t think there’s anything your dh could do and it’s not really fair to wake him up by turning the light on to read. I do sympathise because I struggle to sleep too but I think YABU.

Agree with the earplugs suggestion for tomorrow night.

MaxiPaddy · 03/09/2019 04:07

Yes, you are incredibly UR to wake your dp when he's snoring. You sound like a selfish brat, frankly.

LoreleiRock · 03/09/2019 04:12

What do you want him to do? He could go and tell his father to stop snoring, (which only actually works while your fil is awake - he can’t help it) or do you want him to throw the selfish fucker out on his ear? The cunt. You know you are being unreasonable. And turning the light on is a bit shit really. You should have put the vote up! 😂

ShippingNews · 03/09/2019 04:13

So you couldn't sleep, so you woke your DH up . And you somehow think that your DH can stop your FIL from snoring ?? Sorry but you are totally out of line here. Nobody can stop another person from snoring - nobody. What you do is buy some earplugs so you can sleep . End of story.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 03/09/2019 04:14

So you’re awake so everyone’s awake?

Get yourself downstairs to read and turn off the bloody bedroom light!

PhilCornwall1 · 03/09/2019 04:19

Could you not try to get some sleep in the lounge? It's not ideal, but it's not forever either.

I'm struggling to see what you want your husband to do.

Jesaminecollins · 03/09/2019 04:20

Does you FIL wear pyjamas? You could try stitching some kind of spongy ball to the back of the neck hole.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/sleep-and-tiredness/5-ways-to-stop-snoring/

PhilCornwall1 · 03/09/2019 04:31

Seems a lot of work for a couple of night stay.

Jesaminecollins · 03/09/2019 04:33

@PhilCornwall1

Poor old man - I would just buy myself some earplugs because it is as you say a short stay.

Purpleartichoke · 03/09/2019 04:34

People snore. Waking someone just because they are snoring is mean.

user1483387154 · 03/09/2019 04:47

yab completely u. there is nothing he can do about someone else's snoring

AdoreTheBeach · 03/09/2019 05:09

Think of it this way, you now have great reason why they can’t stay over when baby is born

Ear plugs are inexpensive solution for any future visits (FIL in your home or you in their home)

HennyPennyHorror · 03/09/2019 05:38

Oh for God's sake you've got some right idiots replying on here! DH should go and knock on the door and disturb FIL enough that he turns over. He's probably on his back. OP is 32 weeks pregnant! She needs her sleep !!!

Jesaminecollins · 03/09/2019 05:41

@HennyPennyHorror

There is no reason to be rude - we are just trying to advise the OP

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2019 05:48

Yabu. You shouldn't have woken DH and you need to just deal with the snoring I'm afraid. If your DH woke him it would only start again a short while later.

chatwoo · 03/09/2019 06:02

Ear plugs.

Shoxfordian · 03/09/2019 06:06

Yeah as lots of people have said, earplugs
Plus yabu

HennyPennyHorror · 03/09/2019 06:06

Jasmin... A spongy ball won't help her now will it??

Jenny70 · 03/09/2019 06:12

Stay at a hotel near work tonight, save 2x commute distances and good nights sleep. Possibly go out for a cafe breakfast, win-win-win