To expect him to do something about his dad's snoring

[Howdidido]

Posted earlier this weekend. DH was away at event with his dad and his mum had invited herself to stay with me. Not happy about it but I'd left it too long to really say anything about it so had (with MN sympathy) decided to suck it up. I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
FIL joined DH to journey back from event together and decided to stay an additional 2 nights. I went to work as usual yesterday and will be tomorrow. Except I've been awake since midnight listening to FIL snoring. He's on a different floor but the volume is amazing. After 2 hours I finally decide I'm getting nowhere and will read a book in bed to calm me down because im betting really pissed off.

DH woke really pissed off I'd woken him. When I said I'd been awake for ages he said "what I am meant to do about it?". I feel like he should do something about it. He feels like I should turn the light off and carry on trying to sleep.
I have a long commute. And a long day tomorrow. And it looks like I'm going to have to do it on less than 2 hours sleep. And I'm so pissed off that it's unlikely that I will be able to fall asleep just from exhaustion.
For background FIL (and MIL) and my relationship is fine but it's not close enough that I could say anything to him at 3am. He'd be mortified if he knew he was keeping me awake though.

It’s absolute torture and you don’t understand until you’ve had to deal with it. You would not be unreasonable to sleep elsewhere or get yourself a nice hotel. When in laws ask, be honest. It’s unbearable especially when pregnant and not worth tip toeing around people’s feelings.

@amicissimma I like the orange foam ones from Superdrug. They are way better than the boots equivalent. I think it's the shaped end, it just fits my ear better and expands to fill the space

I cant believe you turned a light on next to someone sleeping, that's extemely selfish.

At least FIL doesn't know what he is doing, but you chose to be annoying

Calling in sick when you still have 8 weeks to go shouldn't trigger maternity leave.

I think in future say no when they invite themselves to stay. It seems bizarre for them to come when their son isn't there. What do you normally do if visiting them or them visiting you?

Even rolling over doesn't stop my DP from snoring. He only stops if he sleeps on his front and he cant do that for long or he cant move his neck the next day.

I sympathise, I really do. I learned to cope with DP snoring but when I was pregnant I could have killed him, still wouldn't wake him up though. No point.

I may have misunderstood, but assuming your DH and FIL are aware that he snores very loudly it was a bit inconsiderate imo to suggest he stay with you for several nights, especially while you're pregnant.

YANBU

I’m totally with you op.

If I were a snorer, I’d be doing everything I could to solve it. I’d be ashamed to be keeping people awake.

You are so very far fron BU!

Your DH just arrnaged with his dad that hew oudl come back to yours and saty , with MIL for 2 days that you had not mutually agreed to, after having had MIL arranged around you? Presumably so MIL didn't have to travel back alone, or some such!

At 32 weeks pregnant you have every right to expect your DH to have said no, she's not sleeping too well as it is, it is not a good idea!

Your DH had an unthinking moment and you are the one feeling the brunt of it. YANBU to be pissed off with him about it. But at least you now know you can't invite PILs to stay again... and can use this as your get out of jail card next time your DH suggests it! Let him work it out with them, if he wants a next time!

I hopeyour day went well and you don't feel too shatterd.

If I were a snorer, I’d be doing everything I could to solve it. I’d be ashamed to be keeping people awake. Sadly most snorers deny they snore, or it isn't that loud, or you art just being sensitive.

It is fucking torture when you find yourself trapped by an unexpected snorer. There's nothing you can do and your anger and anxiety levels preclude sensible thought!

Thanks, clucky3. I shall give them a go.

You have my sympathy OP. Although I don’t think you should have woken DH, in reality even if he’d have woken his dad and asked him to roll on his side, I bet it wouldn’t have been long before he was off again.

Definitely get some earplugs.

You sound high strung, it’s a one off not the end of the world. The only person your upsetting is yourself, try and relax.

@amicissimma I swear by these earplugs

I fully understand that you are pregnant and fed up and don't really want your in-laws staying with you, but YABVVVU to expect your partner to 'do something' about his dad's snoring.

People snore. It doesn't matter whether they are sleeping on their back or their front or whatever. and in most cases, even if you wake them up they'll start snoring again the moment they fall asleep. I cannot seriously believe you were expecting your partner to go into his parents' room and wake one of them up to tell them off for snoring because that would be utterly weird and ridiculous. Not to mention incredibly rude.

Cause he should do something about it.
Don't invite / let his parents inconvenience you like this.

I think your oh should have gone and spoken to his dad. I used to go and give my mum a shout in the night when i lived at home and her snoring had woken me from another floor! She'd just grunt and roll over and stop and I could get back to sleep.

Recently I had to share a hotel room with my mil, she said sorry if I snore tinkly little laugh lay on her back, put her hands over her head, fell asleep and started to snore in under 2 minutes and that was her for the next 8 hours. Didn't even roll over once! I feel your pain because I actually cried a bit with the frustration and i was even texting my oh complaining though he was hundreds of miles away 😂 so you can believe he would have heard about it if he was lying beside me!

TattiePants, thanks. Unfortunately I've tried those and DH's jumbo-jet-taking-off-from-the-adjacent-pillow effects were undiminished, or as good as.