Name change for this.
I managed to get a GP appointment today because I'm really struggling to deal with a sexual assault which happened a few weeks ago (it was in public, during the day, two strangers). I tried to put it out of my mind and just carry on, but it's really not working and I've kind of got to the point of recognising that I need help. I tried to mention it in an appointment a few weeks ago, but I chickened out.
... I'm sooo stressed that I'm either going to chicken out and cancel the appointment altogether, or that I will flake out when I get there and say "Oh, I just feel anxious, it's a combination of things" (which is what I said the last time...).
The things I'm freaking out about, in no particular order:
- That I could have an STI
- That they'll contact social services and tell them I'm not fit to look after my child
- That they'll want to do an internal examination (and natch I've had this before, I just have a weird phobia about it at this moment)
- That they'll tell me I mustn't go back to work
- That they'll tell me it's all my fault
- That they'll be angry because I didn't go to the police
- That I'll just start crying.
Please, somebody just tell me to be an adult and stop catastrophising!