To think most parents don't know that rearfacing DCs is safer?

[mumaw]

I'm in Facebook groups that specialise in advice for mainly extended rear facing car seats. It's proven that rear facing your child is much, much safer (in fact 500% safer) than front facing.

But I never see anybody RF'ing their child and don't know anybody that does either.

Is it just a case of parents not knowing that its safer?

@sashkin there's a big difference between a toddler screaming because you said no to something and a distressed car sick toddler.

Limiting food and drink is unreasonable every time you need to use the car. Lots of people also travel alone so don't have someone to help in the back.

If FF stopped your child being sick I don't understand why you wouldn't do this? The risk of an RTA is tiny. ERF is safer but you have to have an accident in the first place.

Wow. I agree. I RF dd (now 4.5yrs).
I can't understand why anyone who knows its safer would choose a less safe option for their child.

I do understand those that have issues with sickness or going through screaming phases to some degree. But I've only been through a few comments on the first page and I just don't get why you wouldn't choose the safest possible position for your child.
I always assumed people were unaware of it too.

For someone up thread who said about mothercare and halfords. Generally their training on seats is poor and their recommendations even worse. (Generally, not all).

(I'm in those fb groups too op).

@mumaw

my children are far too old to sit in any kind of car seats but

I agree with the sentiment in this thread that you are being unnecessarily judgy

If you wanted to start a thread saying
'Rear facing seats are safer, did you know?'

Then great, it's informative and not judgmental but it's this questioning why other people don't do it the way you do....

Most new parents learn pretty quickly not to be judgemental of other parents. Hope you reach that learning curve soon.

I get the feeling people think you are having or mollycoddling children by ERF them.

I ERF 4yo with my eldest and plan the same with subsequent children.

I work with children who have head injuries and spinal injuries and that is a huge factor in why I have chosen to do this.

*babying not having in above post.

Because as with all aspects of parenting, parents have to weigh up the risks, advantages and disadvantages of the options available and come to their own conclusion, often based on their knowledge of their own child.

I guarantee you that during your time as a parent, you will have made some choices that would horrify and appall another parent. That’s just the way of it. For example, I co-sleep with my son. But I know that many parents find the risks of co-sleeping unacceptable and would probably consider me irresponsible. We’re all just trying to do what we think is right.

We turned our one year old around because he had severe reflux that was made worse by screaming. He screamed on every car journey, no matter how long it was, no matter how many toys he had, and he had a mirror so he could see us. He would then vomit and several times he choked on his vomit, which would result in me doing an emergency stop. As soon as we turned him around he was happy to go in the car and the issue went away.

Yes it's safer to ERF. But some of these Facebook groups cause a ridiculous amount of hysteria. Internal decapitation was predictably mentioned up above and if you believe these Facebook groups it's something that happens on a regular basis but it actually accounts for less than 1% of spinal injuries.

Yes I think parents should be better informed about ERF but I also think some of the hysterics are not healthy. I know someone who banned her child from school trips unless she could drive her because they used booster seats on the school bus. That's not a healthy approach to take!

My son hated the infant seat but it wasn't because he was rear-facing, it was because he had silent reflux and the recline made it worse. When we moved him to a Group 1 seat which was more upright (but still rear-facing) he was much happier.

I wonder if other babies are more upset by the recline than by the direction of travel. People seem quick to assume that rear facing is the issue.

3yo has one of those 360 things. When we rear face I can't hear a bloody word he's saying, so it becomes a distracted car journey, so more likely to have an accident.
So he is FF.

AnotherEmma
That's a good point. We assumed he would hate RF so brought FF (the safest one we could afford). It's difficult because the cost of a decent car seat means that these aren't purchases you can always just rebuy if you don't get on with it. We would never buy one second hand (or sell one) and we've had children later than many of our friends/family so no one to borrow from to test either.

Car seats in general are so confusing. Need to get the car and base and seat and child all compatible within the restrictions of budget and availability. That's a huge ask by itself. Never mind sorting through the safety issues - some seats that you'd think would be good and meet regulations are actually dangerous according to Which testing. There are multiple concurrent safety regulations. The whole thing needs sorted out.

The recommended guidelines are that the child should be rear facing for as long as possible. Most collisions are from the front. If you've spent a fortune on a good quality car seat then why not utilise it for its maximum protection.

We RF to 2 years when DD started climbing out even with an extra clip. Shes 3 now and the size of a 4 year old.

I personally though wouldn't put her in anyone else's car FF as I don't trust them like I trust myself or DH. Not to mention we very rarely go over 40MPH any way.

I think a bigger concern should be the fact people are using HBB at 2/3 years old 🤦🏻‍♀️

My DD is only 2 and she is RF.

However what happens to the legs when there's an impact? She already looks squashed and her seat is the right size. I can't work out where the legs would go on a 7 or 8 year old?!

@xtinak I completely agree. It is really confusing and a lot of the places you would think to look for advice (like mothercare, Halfords, which etc) don't actually give good advice a lot of the time. Two laws running concurrently with very different rules about turning to FF is really confusing. Thee is also huge variation in levels of testing which again isn't clear.

The cheapest seats tend not to be erf or isize and can allow a baby to be turned FF at 9 months. I don't blame a lot of people for thinking it must be safe for a baby to FF at 9 months if the law and the maker of the seat say it's ok. Obviously not everyone has hundreds of pounds to spend on a car seat and if you're told it's been tested and is safe by the shop then why wouldn't you believe that?

Joie has been fantastic for the car seat market and produce decent, well tested erf seats for lower prices. The cheapest is about £75. I know the Facebook groups can appear preachy to some but they do get this sort of information out there. If you already know then fine but lots of people (completely understandably) really don't.

I intended to rear face and bought the car seat with that intention. But my Ford CMax has small back seat leg room so the passenger seat had to be pushed almost completely forward and neither my DH nor I could sit like that for the 2-3 hour journey to our holiday destination which we bought the seat right before going to. So yes our comfort trumped DD's safety but it's also not safe having your knees literally squashed up to the glove box. DD1 couldn't have one either because we were genuinely too poor to afford one (on mat leave, DH doing a year of study after being made redundant when she was 4 weeks old). But a rear facing seat wouldn't have fitted behind the drivers seat either.

Sometimes circumstances simply prevent it.

I think it’s because I drive carefully and defensively in the car, don’t speed etc. And I want to see my children. 500 per cent better sounds great but no accidents is even better.

It’s like most things in parenting, moderation is key. Crossing our road is pretty dicey but I don’t make the kids wear a helmet and bike leathers in case they get run over. We just cross carefully.

I can't understand why anyone who knows its safer would choose a less safe option for their child

you could say that about practically every decision you'll ever make for your child,

if you FF or BF, co sleeping or sleeping in a cot, using cot bumpers, sleepy heads, weaning early, using purees or BLW, those plug cover whatsits

I think we all make probably several decisions a day which are the "less safe option" for instance putting them in a car at all is probably less safe than getting the train, or walking. So why do you make that less safe decision and put them in the car?

We RFed until very recently. My daughter was 2 years 2 months when we turned it round. The plan was to RF until about 4, but she hated the car seat backwards so the day she screamed so much she was sick we turned it round. I know that if we have an accident she would be safer RF but I’m choosing to hope we don’t and have the next 2 years with her being happy in the car instead of miserable.

We chose to FF as we needed a seat that we could use in multiple vehicles as family did childcare for us so it needed to be easy to fit. We spent £££ on one with an impact shield which was rated highest by which, particularly in ease of fit category. I figured that a correctly fitted FF seat was better than an incorrectly fitted RF seat as sometimes it would be grandparent, sibling etc fitting seat

Extended rear facing seats just don’t seem very common? I found it hard to work out which ones did it and which ones didn’t, and I was specifically searching for one. If I were to just go into mothercare and buy one I’d probably end up with FF and assume that’s what you’re supposed to do

For anyone near Milton Keynes I highly recommend a trip to the In Car Safety Centre. It's a car seat shop with helpful very well trained staff.

They really know their stuff (immediately observed that the seats in my car are quite tilted and recommended the best seat to offset that).

They do sell some FF seats as well so if you have a really tiny car they'll still be able to help.

I know, but choose not to use RF seat.

Life is all about balancing risk with other factors.

The In Car Safety Centre can also advise by phone and email if you're not local to them. They are much more knowledgeable than the average high street shop.

I agree with you.
There's no excuse not to. I picked up my Joie Stages for £80 which rear races until 4. My 3.5 year old is rear facing.
I just don't get parents who turn their babies to forward facing at around 7 months. It terrifies me