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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go for a swim without shaving

128 replies

CandleWithHair · 01/09/2019 14:17

I’m going for a wax before an upcoming holiday in a couple of weeks time so can’t shave before then, but I really want to go for a swim today and obviously Mary is definitely a little bit Hairy at the mo...
We’re not talking the wilds of Borneo, but there’s enough spider legs visible for anyone who might happen to be staring at my crotch for more than a couple of seconds (serves them right, right?)

So AIBU to think fuck it and go for a swim anyway, unruly pubes and all?

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 01/09/2019 18:05

If a man walked around in budgie smugglers with his pubes hanging out he'd be branded a pervert and accused of some sort of manspreading/wilfully making people uncomfortable. Well, that's useful to know. Perverts can be recognised by their pubes.

Honestly, why would anyone even notice? Surely it takes a special degree of inappropriateness to go round looking at people's crotches?

motortroll · 01/09/2019 18:06

I hardly ever properly shave, I still swim whenever I like. I might tidy up some stragglers but that's about it!

TrainspottingWelsh · 01/09/2019 18:11

I haven’t ever been swimming with my bikini line not done, and as it’s sparse and blonde at full growth it would be almost invisible anyway.

But after reading this thread I really want to stick in some hair extensions and go swimming just to prove a point and piss off those who inexplicably seem to care about the pube growth of other women.

MerryChristmasHarry · 01/09/2019 18:18

Same! There's always merkins though.

Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes · 01/09/2019 18:26

So to clarify, I have never removed my pubic hair but personally I have a good few centimetres of thick pubic hair growing to mid thigh that I would not feel comfortable displaying in public.
I do not advocate removing pubes that cover the vulva but for me pubic hair on show feels almost akin to flaps on show. It’s a private intimate area, having it all on show feels wrong. I couldn’t care what’s under the costume, I couldn’t care about hairy legs or armpits but displaying pubic hair feels wrong to me personally. I acknowledge others do not feel the same.
Again awaits further flaming.....

BeefTomato · 01/09/2019 18:36

There are plenty of men with leg hair so thick that you can't tell where leg hair ends and pubes begin - I seriously doubt anybody is judging them!

I never bother to remove hair and I don't think anybody has ever noticed. You're only travelling between the changing room and the pool, and the other pool patrons are surely concentrating on their own swim!

Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes · 01/09/2019 18:38

BeefTomato- I disagree with that. Pubes look completely different to leg hair.

BeefTomato · 01/09/2019 18:40

Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes wouldn't it look a bit silly if they were hairy all the way up and then have a bald bit around their bathing suit?

Fraggling · 01/09/2019 18:42

Having a couple of pubes around is the same as having your vulva 'on show'...

I've heard it all now.

dementedma · 01/09/2019 18:42

Wear a cossie with short legs, rather than high cut. Solves all problems

testing987654321 · 01/09/2019 18:44

I was once at a pool with a friend who commented on another woman being a bit hairy. I was "eh? Good luck to her".

Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes · 01/09/2019 18:45

Fraggling - you are exposing an intimate area by showing pubes. Mumsnet is a peculiar place sometimes, I’m fairly sure in the real world exposing pubes is not so commonplace.

EssexSexpot · 01/09/2019 18:47

I have a full, glorious seventies bush and I swim freely. Never noticed anyone looking, and wouldn't care if I saw escapee hairs on another woman. It's not your job to change your body to make other people feel more comfortable.

Fraggling · 01/09/2019 18:51

How on earth are you exposing an intimate area by having some pubes sticking out?

You know lots of women don't have a tiny landing strip naturally that would take quite something to poke out? Or have quite long pubes?

Having a couple of pubes sticking out is in no way the same as having your whole vulva 'on show' and what a strange choice of words.

Don't project your weird ideas and hang ups onto other women and girls. Ta.

Fraggling · 01/09/2019 18:52

Also no idea why men in speedo with hair are being accused of being child molesters.

This is a very odd thread.

Isawthesignanditopenedupmyeyes · 01/09/2019 19:00

Pubes are intimate are they not? They grow exclusively on an intimate private area. I have no weird ideas, this is anatomy.

HenSolo · 01/09/2019 19:07

I have a full, glorious seventies bush and I swim freely.

Hurrah! Me too. And leg hair like a yeti. Spent a lot of my teens and twenties trying to remove my bastard thick hair and I’ll be fucked if I’m wasting any more of my life on it ESPECIALLY when men can be as hairy as they bloody like.

The first few times I went swimming without shaving I felt worried as though everyone would be staring in horror. Don’t care quite so much anymore but I do feel emboldened by my hairy sisters on here Grin

TheDarkPassenger · 01/09/2019 19:12

I wouldn’t judge nor care but you can’t pretend others won’t notice!

Fraggling · 01/09/2019 19:15

'I do not advocate removing pubes that cover the vulva but for me pubic hair on show feels almost akin to flaps on show. It’s a private intimate area, having it all on show feels wrong.'

Most women do not feel that a public hair or 2 poking out is akin to having vulva, sorry 'flaps' visible no, and the idea that women or girls how have pube or 2 poking out might as well have their vulva 'on show' is even weirder.

Please don't assume that your rather odd hang ups are universal.

MIdgebabe · 01/09/2019 19:31

AND the main reason that people feel uncomfortable with hair is because we are encouraged to maintain some childlike appearance.

Which kind of creeps me out,

BertrandRussell · 01/09/2019 19:34

Not sure I want to take instruction on anything from someone who uses the term “flaps”

Moonmaker · 01/09/2019 19:35

I can imagine this has been asked a bazillion times

Or maybe a Brazilian times, even Grin

MyLeftArm · 01/09/2019 19:37

I recently went to a Roman Baths in Germany. Lots of naked people, lots of lady bushes (not a perv - anyone who says they don't notice public nudity after a lifetime of Britishness is lying Grin ). Didn't bat an eyelid, it's their body.
There's nothing odd about an adult with body hair.

But...some people claim they'd judge you on a fact they only know because they've been staring at your crotch?! Now that is odd.

TrainspottingWelsh · 01/09/2019 19:41

Now I want to remove the pubes from my vulva and stick a huge pantomime size merkin on either side before going swimming.

Krisskrosskiss · 01/09/2019 19:43

I shave my legs and trim pubic hair neatly but have never shave off or waxed off the 'spiders legs' as you call them! It's such a delicate area and I've delicate skin that I'd just not dare do that. I just cut them short ish. Its other peoples problem if it upsets them. I'm clean and tidy and that's all I'm gonna be doing because any more would damage my skin.
I guess in a way I've been lucky having the skin issue because I've just had to get used to going swimming with a tiny bit of hair on show... so now days in my 30s I dont even think about it all. I've never had a single comment on it. So I'd really not worry yourself about it. No one is going to look that closely and you'll be in the water most of the time anyway.