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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bin the banana

70 replies

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:02

I have a banana. The banana is 2 and a half days old and it has speckle on it. The kids are saying the banana is minging and are refusing to eat it. I don't like bananas. I thought of making a smoothie with the banana but the kids will know I've used the manky banana and refuse to drink it. I don't have cocoa powder to disguise the taste of the rotting banana. Any tips on what else I could use to trick the kids into believing the smoothie is banana free? Would it even be ethical to lie to the children and get them to eat the gone off banana by deception? I'm not sure I'd be thrilled if I found out that someone tricked me into eating a putrid banana to be fair. Would it be an infringement on their human rights? What if they took me to court? Is a banana worth that risk do you think? I thought about bringing the banana over to next door but one's and offering it to the little girl who lives there. Do you think her parents would be offended if the fruit I proffer is past it's best? I have noticed that the child is a rather pale little thing and I really think she could do with some potassium and vitamin B6 in her life. Do you think if I explained this to the parents my offering would be more gratefully received? Please help, I really am at sixes and sevens at what to do. Sometimes I feel like saying fuck it and just throwing the banana in the bin! But how could I live with myself knowing that I have so callously contributed to global warming? What about if I don't take a shower this morning? Would that make up for the environmental disaster I have helped cause by my discardment of the banana do you think? Or am I just kidding myself to make myself feel better? Maybe I should just eat the banana? I will be sick but if I manage to keep some down it won't be quite such a waste will it? What would you do in my situation? Please help, I really am at my wits end here Sad

OP posts:
farmmumtomillie · 01/09/2019 10:09

Make cookies from it! It's perfectly good still. We still eat then when they're totally black here 😂
Can add anything else you want to them and they'll be yummy! Here you go

Try not to over think it, no need to waste it ;)

To bin the banana
To bin the banana
fessmess · 01/09/2019 10:23

Don't worry you'll be back at school this week OP and less bored. 😂😂

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:43

@farmmumtomillie thank you so much for the recipe, but unfortunately I only have one banana. I don't want to go out and buy another because I fucking stink as I haven't showered yet incase I have to bin my banana Sad

OP posts:
Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:45

What makes you think I'm a teacher fessmess? Is it my clever way of words and perfect grammar that makes you suspect thus?

OP posts:
whoami24601 · 01/09/2019 10:48

When you use words like 'putrid' and 'rotting' it's no wonder your kids won't eat it! Squishy, brown bananas are the tastiest as the sugars are breaking down and so they're really sweet! Send it to my house; we'll fight over it!

BikeRunSki · 01/09/2019 10:49

A 2.5 day old banana with a speckle is not putrid.

Lex234 · 01/09/2019 10:52

Either the banana is a euphemism, this thread is a piss take, banana angst is a thing or its another riddle like the Paisley/Glasgow twins.

I don't get it Blush

farmmumtomillie · 01/09/2019 10:53

Just half the other ingredient 😂

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:56

A 2.5 day old banana with a speckle is not putrid.

I have just examined the banana and it now has two fucking speckles on it! It is practically decomposing before my very eyes. I must act fast!

OP posts:
RolyWatts · 01/09/2019 10:58

Tell me about the Paisley / Glasgow twins????

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:59

Thank you so much for offering to take the banana off my hands whoami24601 Please send me your address and I will get it sent to you first thing tomorrow.

OP posts:
Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:01

Just half the other ingredient

Panic over, *whoami has offered to take the rancid banana off my hands. Phew, there is a God!

OP posts:
Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/09/2019 11:01

Make a banana hair mask. Then you can shower with impunity as you wash it off. Wink

dementedpixie · 01/09/2019 11:03

I bet the inner banana shows no sign of the speckles on the skin. Peel it and make a banana split with ice cream

PullingMySocksUp · 01/09/2019 11:05

Need a photo of the banana.

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:05

Make a banana hair mask. Then you can shower with impunity as you wash it off.

Oh I do like this idea. Sorry whoami you may not be getting my banana after all Blush What other ingredients would I need for the hair mask please Judas?

OP posts:
Tonnerre · 01/09/2019 11:09

Teach your children that banana with speckles on is not minging and tell them not to be so daft.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/09/2019 11:10

Honey? Possibly? (I’ve never actually done it Grin)

WaitingInTheBushesOfLove · 01/09/2019 11:11

The minions will fight you for it.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/09/2019 11:11

I can’t stomach bananas with even a hint of speckle, they have to be virgin bananas, so I feel your bananary pain.

MrsA2015 · 01/09/2019 11:12

Peel, blend, freeze. Banana icecream

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:13

Honey? Possibly? (I’ve never actually done it

I've no honey. Fuck my life. Do you think strawberry jam would do?

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 01/09/2019 11:14

Banaba pancakes! Just mash it up and put it into the batter.

Also, show your children any recipe for a banana cake where it says ripe bananas are best - the more ripe the better. Also the speckles are how bananas are supposed to look.

missmouse101 · 01/09/2019 11:17

Banana loaf is great. Or mash it into porridge, yum! Don't bin it FFS. If you must, compost or out at end of garden for butterflies and insects to feast on.

Ninkaninus · 01/09/2019 11:19

Seriously though...if my children had been ridiculous like this I would have educated them to know better, not pandered to it. Absolutely not trying to sound smug there!

How old are they? Would they be able to help you mash it and make some pancakes?

(Tell them that Ninkaninus specifically leaves her bananas for over one week so that the skins get dark and the flesh gets soft, so that she can make her famous banana and walnut loaf. The dark, soft bits in the flesh itself are actually just extra sugar.