To bin the banana

[Aprillygirl]

I have a banana. The banana is 2 and a half days old and it has speckle on it. The kids are saying the banana is minging and are refusing to eat it. I don't like bananas. I thought of making a smoothie with the banana but the kids will know I've used the manky banana and refuse to drink it. I don't have cocoa powder to disguise the taste of the rotting banana. Any tips on what else I could use to trick the kids into believing the smoothie is banana free? Would it even be ethical to lie to the children and get them to eat the gone off banana by deception? I'm not sure I'd be thrilled if I found out that someone tricked me into eating a putrid banana to be fair. Would it be an infringement on their human rights? What if they took me to court? Is a banana worth that risk do you think? I thought about bringing the banana over to next door but one's and offering it to the little girl who lives there. Do you think her parents would be offended if the fruit I proffer is past it's best? I have noticed that the child is a rather pale little thing and I really think she could do with some potassium and vitamin B6 in her life. Do you think if I explained this to the parents my offering would be more gratefully received? Please help, I really am at sixes and sevens at what to do. Sometimes I feel like saying fuck it and just throwing the banana in the bin! But how could I live with myself knowing that I have so callously contributed to global warming? What about if I don't take a shower this morning? Would that make up for the environmental disaster I have helped cause by my discardment of the banana do you think? Or am I just kidding myself to make myself feel better? Maybe I should just eat the banana? I will be sick but if I manage to keep some down it won't be quite such a waste will it? What would you do in my situation? Please help, I really am at my wits end here

OP, for goodness sake , pull yourself together woman.

This is no time for panic.
You have one speckledy banana ergo, you get to make
this Mary Berry Chocolate banana cake.

Use leftover Easter eggs for the choc chips.

Easy for you to say when you're not the one sitting here watching a lonely little banana rot away before your very eyes
Your recipe sounds scrummy but I have no chocolate......no not even leftover Easter eggs you mad woman

I'd say my banana is, like myself, at 6's and 7's fast becoming 8 (not 8 by me though) @PullingMySocksUp

@PullingYourSocksUp On your scale, the bananas in my house were at.....20?
Black through and through (in the fridge, we had to go away for a few days unexpectedly last week).

And @Aprillygirl you have more problems than a speckled banana if there is no chocolate in the house.

I have a box of broken up easter eggs in the back of the fridge for emergencies like this. {smug}

Probably full of spiders.

Bin it and burn your house down.

Omg do you think??? Spiders are my absolute second worst nightmare (after speckley bananas) so I think your advice is what I will go with.
Thanks a bunch to every one else who tried to help. I'm outta here.

Banana is fine till 9 or 10, surely!

Peel it and freeze it. Use it at a later date in a smoothie once your children have forgotten it ever existed.

6's or 7's??! It's not even bloody ripe!

peel it and put it in a bag in the freezer. when you have more mingy bananas you can do the same until you have enough to use in a recipe.

I do understand somewhat. I like my bananas fully green and know that once they get freckles they are too far gone for me to eat. But I do love banana oatmeal muffins and have a recipe that requires 3. Because I don't use a mixer of any sort it's easiest to use thawed frozen bananas - I must admit they do look incredibly vile when they are thawed like something a very ill dog might leave on the lawn but they are easier to mix into the batter so I put up with the momentary assault on my senses.

I'm also going to say chop and freeze then whiz up with done cocoa powder and you'll have chocolate ice cream!!

Aprilly charming post 😵

Eh? 6 or 7, maybe 8, that's a perfect banana, just ripening - not rotting and putrid.

I would eat any banana between a 5 and 9 on the scale. My grandfather considered 15 only just ripe enough to countenance 🤢

I hope your kids don't treat you the same when you start getting brown spots

Haha dad would leave your banana for at least another week!
Anyone who does this is sick and needs help!
I’m so grateful my fella doesn’t eat them whatever colour they are!

I have a 12, ds will be getting it in his porridge tomorrow!

Make banana bread

Fear not kind people, for the banana's time on this earth has ended in the right and proper way just as its creator, mother nature, intended. As it happens, as if she could sense my quandary, (fate perhaps?) my good friend swung by and as I was telling her of my dilemma over a cup of tea she cut me off (rather rudely actually I thought) and asked for a knife and then proceeded to slice up my banana and then kind of half smeared it over her choc chip digestives and then gobbled the lot along with practically the whole packet of biscuits! Greedy fucking bitch! But the job's a good'un so who am I to complain?

Now this is a black banana...

Manny! I can smell it from here!

Where was the banana diagram. That's what we needed.