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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bin the banana

70 replies

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 10:02

I have a banana. The banana is 2 and a half days old and it has speckle on it. The kids are saying the banana is minging and are refusing to eat it. I don't like bananas. I thought of making a smoothie with the banana but the kids will know I've used the manky banana and refuse to drink it. I don't have cocoa powder to disguise the taste of the rotting banana. Any tips on what else I could use to trick the kids into believing the smoothie is banana free? Would it even be ethical to lie to the children and get them to eat the gone off banana by deception? I'm not sure I'd be thrilled if I found out that someone tricked me into eating a putrid banana to be fair. Would it be an infringement on their human rights? What if they took me to court? Is a banana worth that risk do you think? I thought about bringing the banana over to next door but one's and offering it to the little girl who lives there. Do you think her parents would be offended if the fruit I proffer is past it's best? I have noticed that the child is a rather pale little thing and I really think she could do with some potassium and vitamin B6 in her life. Do you think if I explained this to the parents my offering would be more gratefully received? Please help, I really am at sixes and sevens at what to do. Sometimes I feel like saying fuck it and just throwing the banana in the bin! But how could I live with myself knowing that I have so callously contributed to global warming? What about if I don't take a shower this morning? Would that make up for the environmental disaster I have helped cause by my discardment of the banana do you think? Or am I just kidding myself to make myself feel better? Maybe I should just eat the banana? I will be sick but if I manage to keep some down it won't be quite such a waste will it? What would you do in my situation? Please help, I really am at my wits end here Sad

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 01/09/2019 11:19

Oops, forgot the other )!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 01/09/2019 11:19

Stick it in an apple tea loaf. Loads of cinnamon and honey. Yum. I only like green bananas (when they are about to go yellow) and don’t really like speckled ones at all. I stick them in a cake when they go like that.

Ninkaninus · 01/09/2019 11:20

Oh I bet you could find a recipe for microwave banana mug cakes! Let me look...

ginghamstarfish · 01/09/2019 11:22

Could you use the word 'banana' a bit more please?

Myshitisreal · 01/09/2019 11:22

I need to see a picture of the 🍌 to be able to accurately judge its putrid Ness. I had a horrific 🍌 based encounter a few weeks ago, dear god I'm lucky that I've been able to eat them since. I would feed them the banana in some sneaky way. You can use banana to substitute an egg 🥚 on cake recipes btw

Myshitisreal · 01/09/2019 11:23

🍌 🍌 🍌 😂

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 01/09/2019 11:27

I might try that microwave thing - even if she does waffle on for ages before she gets to the recipe (why do they all do that these days - I don’t want your life history, I just want cake, dammit) and calls millionaires shortbread Anzac caramel slice.

Ninkaninus · 01/09/2019 11:30

I hate that!!

Original poster
Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:32

The minions will fight you for it.

This is great. In my next life fingers crossed I will give birth to minions.

OP posts:
makingmammaries · 01/09/2019 11:36

Unspeckled bananas are inedible. Your banana is at its peak. Stop being so daft.

Original poster
Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:36

Could you use the word 'banana' a bit more please?

No.

OP posts:
Doesyouruniformstillfit · 01/09/2019 11:41

Banana bread.

You may need more speckled ones.

Rainbowknickers · 01/09/2019 11:50

Haha this has made me laugh-I hate bananas they make me feel sick
My dad however waits til they are almost black cracks it open and almost drinks the bloody thing
He won’t eat them yellow cos ‘they don’t taste right’
bork

Original poster
Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 12:05

I hate to say it Rainbowknickers (love that name) but your dad is one sick individual Confused Would he like my banana though?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 01/09/2019 12:19

Banana bread is best with brown nanas. Otherwise, I’m with @LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD in terms of the correct colour of the banana for eating. Nods wisely

recrudescence · 01/09/2019 12:21

Nothing is more hopeless than a scheme of merriment. (Samuel Johnson)

Thehagonthehill · 01/09/2019 12:27

My DD has been taught that speckled,brown bananas are best as they are sweeter.2 speckles are not enough you need to leave it a lot longer before you eat it.

RosesAndRaindrops · 01/09/2019 12:28

If it's only got a couple of speckles on the outside, it's hardly binnable!
I bet it's just perfectly ripe inside and no signs of brown.
Anyway, even if it is speckly ripe bananas make perfect banana bread!

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 01/09/2019 12:28

Rainbowknickers Oh god, my DH is the same. Making me feel physically sick thinking about it. I’m going to have it out with him #bananageddon

DuchessDumbarton · 01/09/2019 12:34

OP, for goodness sake , pull yourself together woman.

This is no time for panic.
You have one speckledy banana ergo, you get to make

this Mary Berry Chocolate banana cake.

Use leftover Easter eggs for the choc chips.

PullingMySocksUp · 01/09/2019 12:38

Rate the banana on here to give us an idea?

To bin the banana
delilahbucket · 01/09/2019 12:45

Put it out for the butterflies to eat.
Seriously though, photo or it didn't happen.

cricketmum84 · 01/09/2019 12:57

Probably full of spiders.

Bin it and burn your house down.

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