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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask MN to suspend AIBU temporarily...

154 replies

noroominthefridge · 31/08/2019 14:34

...so that posters have to look for the vaguely correct section to post in?

Yes, I get the "posting for traffic" mentality and it is occasionally relevant when someone has a bona fide emergency, but fucking hell.

Yes, yes you are being massively unreasonable to ask if your shoes go with your dress when there is a perfectly adequate style and beauty section which I have hidden as it doesn't interest me

Yes, yes you are being totally unreasonable to ask for travel tips to (insert destination here) when there is a very straightforward travel section, which may even have the answer to your question if you could be bothered to look Lots of MNers have been to California/New York/Berlin/Centre Parcs/Efteling and have posted extremely useful advice about them.

I could probably go on, but it has definitely been getting worse lately.

While I'm at it, maybe there could also be a new "sticky" section with the answer to questions which come up with depressing regularity re sheet/towel washing, what present to buy for some random relative that nobody knows or how much to give in a wedding card?

Genuinely interested to hear opinions on this, and if anyone is horrid I will just add the disclaimer that I was tired when I posted.

OP posts:
Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 22:34

@IncrediblySadToo
To ask strangers on the internet the question AM I PREGNANT? to me, is pointless. That's my opinion.

You someone asking strangers on the internet if they're pregnant isn't pointless... your opinion.

Again and again I've explained the posts I mean and I cannot be bothered to keep explaining when you're not understanding.

Not wanted reassurance.
Not wanting dates worked out.
Not wanting congratulating.
Not wanting anyone to see a pic of a test.

Theyre literally asking "AM I PREGNANT!?"
We don't agree. That's it.

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 22:43

"You don’t get it - that’s fine, scroll on past"

You didn't get my opinion or agree with it.... you could have taken your own advice when you saw my comment?? Hmm

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 22:44

"Lots of women are woefully ignorant of basic biology and have very little idea of anything related to conceiving a baby - when it’s likely/unlikely it’s NOT pointless posting for them.".... obviously it's not as they wouldn't have posted it??
My opinion is it's pointless to ask strangers on the internet if you're pregnant!!

FeeFee832 · 31/08/2019 22:59

YABU - old fart!

taytosandwich · 31/08/2019 23:07

Who cares? AIBU and chat are just there for chatting shit on a variety of topics.

clucky3 · 31/08/2019 23:12

You should have posted this in 'site stuff'.

Grin
taytosandwich · 31/08/2019 23:14

'Also some I've read aren't looking for support they're literally asking AM I PREGNANT!? why does No one understand that this is pointless'

I imagine they do know. But it isn't just am I pregnant is it? It's, what's your experience of this stage of pregnancy, will someone keep me company until I find out, what will I do if I am, what will i do if I'm not, my husband will kill me for not using MAP etc. It isn't like asking if theres any washing powder in the cupboard...yes or no. The poster is usually asking for more than that.

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 23:16

@taytosandwich
I understand the ones asking for support or working dates out or something about their partner.
But the posts asking "my boyfriend pulled out can i be pregnant?" .. "I took the morning after pill but I've not come on am I pregnant?".. to me, are pointless. No-one can answer that question. No one but a GP with a Preg test.

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 23:18

"imagine they do know. But it isn't just am I pregnant is it? It's, what's your experience of this stage of pregnancy, will someone keep me company until I find out, what will I do if I am, what will i do if I'm not, my husband will kill me for not using MAP etc".

These posts I get! I get why women would post.

But yes, there is posts on here just asking ... I had sex in this position but he pulled out am I pregnant? ... I haven't come on and have sore breasts am I pregnant?

To me... personally them posts ads pointless.

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 23:20

And 9 times out of 10 the comments read- how would we know?,
Buy a test!,
See a gp,
Why are you asking strangers on the internet. Etc etc

jesuschristwtf · 31/08/2019 23:28

did you post this thread here for 'traffic' too OP? What a stupid post you've made. Whats your AIBU about? MNHQ - this should be in site shite stuff really!

LolaSmiles · 31/08/2019 23:43

Lots of women are woefully ignorant of basic biology and have very little idea of anything related to conceiving a baby - when it’s likely/unlikely it’s NOT pointless posting for them.
It is if they're asking if they're pregnant.
Nobody online can possibly say yes or no.
Did you have unprotected sex? Yes. In which case there is a chance you could be pregnant. Take a pregnancy test.
This is covered in secondary school from year 7.

They obviously want to be reassured/congratulated/supported in some way that helps them
But does it? I was thinking about this the other day seeing another line eyes post. There's 50% of people saying they can't see lines and 50% congratulating a poster for being pregnant and saying they don't understand how anyone can't see the lines.
In reality it doesn't look like a conclusive positive test at all and you can see what you want if you are trying to see it. I'm not doubting posters are trying to be supportive and have good intentions, but after seeing thread after thread of people congratulating seemingly negative tests I can't help but feel it's cruel and emotionally harmful to the poster (who is usually desperate to be pregnant and probably knows it's negative deep down but wants to be given a little bit of hope). It would be kinder to say they need to test again in a day or so and wish them well.

slashlover · 31/08/2019 23:46

@Roozy123

I had unprotected sex on the 28th July but he pulled out. My period was due on the 30th August, I'm always 100% regular. Could I be pregnant?

There are no shops near here so I can't buy a test.

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 23:48

@slashlover

😂😂😂😂 that hurt even reading that😂

And how can people say a post like this wouldn't be pointless!!!!??

LolaSmiles · 31/08/2019 23:53

slashlover
We can't say unless you give us all the totally relevant details to help us advise you. You need to include the following as a minimum:
What position were you in?
Did you shower after?
Did you go to the toilet within 45minutes after?
Was the moon directly aligned with some obscure constellation that people have associated with fertility for centuries?

Please also include a list of symptoms which could be PMT, pregancy symptoms or entirely psychosomatic. That way at least 3 people will know someone who had one of your symptoms 4 hours after sex and just knew they were pregnant.

Amateur wanting our long distances uterus reading powers without giving all the relevant information. Grin

HeronLanyon · 31/08/2019 23:55

Lots of questions but no clear answers so here goes (yet again) -
Every day
£150
No YANBU
Yes YABU/VU
Spa day
She was only trying to help
He will always be her son/needs to grow some
They shouldn’t have cut it down without asking you
Contact the council parking dept/without diagram I can’t understand the layout
Never, unless I know who is at the door
Balonze

Roozy123 · 31/08/2019 23:57

@slashlover

Amateur wanting our long distances uterus reading powers without giving all the relevant information. I know right... how can I tell someone they're pregnant over the internet without knowing these things!!! 🙄 😂

Finally..
Someone that get it!!!!!!! Grin

StrumpersPlunkett · 01/09/2019 00:02

I only ever read active threads and threads I’m on.
Scroll past most of it these days but ttc and babies for me on my are 15 years ago.
Christmas boards and Staff room stuff these days.

donquixotedelamancha · 01/09/2019 00:09

We definitely need a... “I hate my PILs” board.

This is MN, every board is one of those.

PancakeAndKeith · 01/09/2019 00:15

I've only been here about 18months

Ah so this is one of the ‘I’ve been here 2 and a half minutes and I want you to change everything to suit me’ threads.

LolaSmiles · 01/09/2019 00:16

donquixotedelamancha
If we are adding boards, can I propose one for "school situations I am totally fuming about and no I do not want to be given useful advice like speak to the relevant person because I want to rage and demand to see the head and complain to Ofsted without the full facts because someone on MN agreed with me that schools and teachers are evil bullies who hate children".

That would free up some space in AIBU and also free up posters in the education boards to direct their useful advice to those who are seeking sensible resolutions

Lockheart · 01/09/2019 00:18

@PancakeAndKeith I've been on the boards upwards of 7 years and the non-AIBU threads in AIBU annoy me, am I allowed?

18 months is hardly 2 minutes now is it.

donquixotedelamancha · 01/09/2019 00:26

If we are adding boards, can I propose one for "school situations I am totally fuming about and no I do not want to be given useful advice like speak to the relevant person because I want to rage and demand to see the head and complain to Ofsted without the full facts because someone on MN agreed with me that schools and teachers are evil bullies who hate children".

That would be a very popular board LolaSmiles. It would have the added benefit that MN could target advertising more precisely. Stella Artois and Sports Direct could bring in a lot of money.

ErrolTheDragon · 01/09/2019 00:27

Perhaps MNHQ should take on a junior mod - essentially their traffic cop - whose job would be to move every post which shouldn't be in AIBU to its appropriate topic. And if there wasn't an appropriate place, then move it to wherever seemed most likely to be amusing.

MyNewBearTotoro · 01/09/2019 00:34

I’ve seen other websites which police the areas threads are posted in far better than Mumsnet and move threads posted on the wrong board to the correct place.

AIBU isn’t the problem, the problem is a lack of moderation when it comes to posting in the right area. There should be an option to report a thread which is posted in the wrong section. The ‘AIBU to ask about my [make-up] [holiday destination] [private school] etc’ posts should be moved by Mumsnet staff to the relevant boards and not left in AIBU just because it has the most traffic.