To think best man shouldn’t have to pay

[Underworld345]

We are friends with a couple who have said they are getting married abroad. DP is best man and childhood friends with groom. I met the bride through their friendship but we are good friends now.

Holiday would probably be £7-800 per person and we have two small DCs.

I understand for most guests it would probably be a case of if you can’t afford it/don’t want to pay, don’t come.

But for the best man, he has to go but it has been expected from the bride and groom that he pay.

I’m not sure I will go yet and take the DCs on our annual holiday yet.

At the time I thought ok, he has a couple of years to save etc. But then got thinking he’ll be paying quite a lot of money because they want him to be best man.

To be clear my DP isn’t even that keen to be best man. He is the grooms closest friend and probably the only friend who would pay to go to the wedding anyway.

Just interested what is the norm for wedding abroad. Who pays what?

Oh no he'd need to pay or say no

Im aware that mums net has strong views to the contary and not entering the debate on wether they should be but as someone who is spending a lot of time on wedding groups etc atm...

Its definately not the norm for b +g to pay for other guests in an abroad wedding

Its also fairly common these days to expect bridal party to pay for their outfits/hair /make up etc

People have lots of views about this but i would say base your decision on that you'll be paying for the above unless told otherwise.

Its a bit like child free weddings and mumsnet, just because people dont agree with them doesnt mean that they arent common and people wont have them

They have only just announced it is abroad, now is the time to tell them (if indeed your DH isn’t going to go).

This. Speak up now.