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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Today I cried about racism

101 replies

angell84 · 30/08/2019 21:32

I was born in England, to English parents. We moved to another EU country, and I have an accent from that country.

I moved back to England a few weeks ago. Today a man said to me " you are not from round here are you". I said that "my accent is from ....". He then said , " Are you over here taking one of our jobs?" very aggressively.
I said , " actually I am from England originally". Thinking on it later - I thought - I shouldn't have even had to justify myself by saying that!
He glared at me and said "it sure doesn't sound like you are English, did they kick you out of so and so country".

I cried when I got home, what would you say in this situation?

OP posts:
Actionhasmagic · 30/08/2019 21:35

Awful person! Hope you are okay. Sorry you experienced that. It’s hard to know what to say in such shocking situations x

DarkNoise · 30/08/2019 21:39

They are twats. Don't let them get to you. We are your friends. Get some flowers and a warm welcome. Accent and all.
🦋🌸🌺🥀🌹🌷💐🌸

DarkNoise · 30/08/2019 21:40

And "taking one of your jobs". If that's their customer service manner I guess even Shrek May take their job. I repeat, they are a twat.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 30/08/2019 21:40

Don’t be upset. Just be glad that you’re not as stupid as they are.

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2019 21:41

He then said , "Are you over here taking one of our jobs?" very aggressively.

How weird. I didn't realise people actually said that to people. I thought it was just something people say to take the piss out of racists.

He sounds batshit. I'd totally dismiss anything he said OP.

youarenotkiddingme · 30/08/2019 21:42

Nothing you can say to ignorant cunts.

They don't want to understand or know the truth. They just want to make vile ignorant bigoted assumptions and will continue to do so regardless of the truth.

So sorry you had to face this. Thanks

Cinammoncake · 30/08/2019 21:45

What an idiot he sounds. Sorry to hear this OP and that people think it's acceptable to come out with crap like that. Our country is going to the dogs. What can you say to somebody so stupid as that.
Flowers

sallyedmondson · 30/08/2019 21:47

Just to offer support. I agree you can never argue with racist twats. They haven't the capacity or IQ to understand.

Ignore and believe there are many others that don't feel this way.

saoirse31 · 30/08/2019 21:49

Not that it's any consolation, but you're not alone... Living in Dublin, have met two Polish people in last 2 weeks, who (having spent 12 and 20 happy yrs in London respectively), have just moved over here because of their experience of a very negative change in attitude to non english in London, particularly in last year. Neither wanted their children to experience it.

LazyFace · 30/08/2019 21:52

Nah, why didn't you just say you're too overqualified for his job? That's my prepared answer for cases like this.

Italiangreyhound · 30/08/2019 21:53

So sorry that happened.

You really do not owe anyone your time or an explanation. Sl

Sometimes it may seem best to engage because it is safer than to ignore but sometimes it is just safe to ignore. And always OK to ignore if you wish to.

I think if that happened to me, baring in mind your experience, I would be tempted to deflect.

So I'd maybe try and answer a slightly different question of your own choice. E.g. 'I'm from a different part of England/Britain/UK'
Or
Yes, born round here'
Or
Probably
'Can't stop I'm in a hurry.'

It's no one's business what your accent is. You are welcome and should feel welcomed. Flowers

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2019 21:55

Nah, why didn't you just say you're too overqualified for his job? That's my prepared answer for cases like this.

But your prepared answer could only work if you know what the other person's job is?

nancy75 · 30/08/2019 21:55

What would I have said?
Fuck off you ignorant cunt would probably be the first thing that came out if my mouth tbh
It doesn’t matter where you were born, what accent you have, what colour your skin - nobody has the right to talk to you like that.

june2007 · 30/08/2019 21:56

Xenophobic not racist. But either way no you don't need to put up with it and you should write a complaint letter to the business. It may not go anywhere or it might.

Xenia · 30/08/2019 21:57

Thankfully most people in England are not like this.

sheshootssheimplores · 30/08/2019 22:01

I bet you anything if you’d have asked what he did for a living he’d have given you some sob story about how he can’t work. I find those who are the most angry about ‘people who are coming over here taking our jobs’ are those who do absolutely nothing to contribute the the economy.

mamaraah · 30/08/2019 22:02

I'd be horrified too. After over 10 + years in Britain I do have a bit of a British twang and the local words etc so I don't get hassled by the British here, I get hassled by my fellow country people when I visit home, go figure .....Hmm

LetsTryToLetGoOfAnger · 30/08/2019 22:03

This reply has been deleted

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angell84 · 30/08/2019 22:05

Thanks for the lovely comments, I feel better. I was next to him at a bus stop, waiting for a bus. Yes , I have met lots of lovely people in the last few weeks in England too. I am going to ignore the people like that, and focus on the nice ones.

OP posts:
JayDot500 · 30/08/2019 22:05

Sorry. It's shit. Flowers

I had an awful English man rant at me and DH today (we're black, born here, work, pay looooads of tax but that never matters tbh). He passed us on the pavement and angrily grumbled about 'foreigners' 'jobs', and the usual repertoire. He then repeated it to another white couple who were sitting down. They didn't seem to react much (I don't know why I wanted more of a reaction from them but maybe they just thought he was crazy or didn't understand what he was saying). Luckily, my son was with me and had issues with his ice lolly so I just focused on that.

You can't help the way you feel, especially if this is your first experience of this kind. Cry, you have every right to feel hurt. But he is an ignorant fool. Happily, you dont have to experience life with that sort of mindset. Smile

angell84 · 30/08/2019 22:10

@jaydot500, thanks for sharing that. I send you a big hug. We are fantastic. You are fantastic. Anyone spewing hate is only really hurting themselves.

OP posts:
Solihooley · 30/08/2019 22:11

Thankfully most people in England are not like this.

Bullshit. Loads of people are like this. The country I used to be proud of for it’s multiculturalism has been taken over by right wing racists.

JayDot500 · 30/08/2019 22:14

@angell84 thank you! You're not alone. We are not alone ♥️

Boots20 · 30/08/2019 22:15

You should have said 'job? nah mate I'm claiming loads of benefits england is fantastic' that would really have really ruffled his feathers. Just kidding but he sounds like a right dick

user1493759849 · 30/08/2019 22:19

As @xenia said, thankfully most people in England are not like this.

In fact, although I hear about this kind of thing being said, 'bloody forrinas, tekkin our jobs!' I have never, ever heard anyone say anything like this in real life.

I have also never seen any post-Brexit attacks on people. During the 6 to 8 months after the vote in 2016, loads of stories came out about people being verbally and physically attacked when the LEAVE vote won.

I live in a diverse area. Never saw it happen. Also don't know a soul in real life who it's happened to.

@Solihooley

Bullshit. Loads of people are like this. The country I used to be proud of for it’s multiculturalism has been taken over by right wing racists.

What a ridiculous comment. Get a grip. hmm