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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Today I cried about racism

101 replies

angell84 · 30/08/2019 21:32

I was born in England, to English parents. We moved to another EU country, and I have an accent from that country.

I moved back to England a few weeks ago. Today a man said to me " you are not from round here are you". I said that "my accent is from ....". He then said , " Are you over here taking one of our jobs?" very aggressively.
I said , " actually I am from England originally". Thinking on it later - I thought - I shouldn't have even had to justify myself by saying that!
He glared at me and said "it sure doesn't sound like you are English, did they kick you out of so and so country".

I cried when I got home, what would you say in this situation?

OP posts:
FoxFoxSierra · 30/08/2019 23:02

Sorry you experienced that op Flowers

This country has gone so right wing it's scary and all the closet racists think their views are mainstream now - I don't believe they are but those gobs shout the loudest!

RosaWaiting · 30/08/2019 23:03

User “I live in a diverse area. Never saw it happen. Also don't know a soul in real life who it's happened to”

I can’t see the point of comments like this. I’m a Londoner, born and raised, but not white.

The weekend after the Brexit vote, I had two verbal attacks and one physical one, luckily I was not hurt, it was a violent man slam coupled with a racist remark.

Did you think we were lying, the people who reported it? A black friend living within walking distance had the same experience as me that one weekend.

I’m not blaming Brexieers btw but anyone who thinks racism doesn’t exist because they’ve never seen it....I don’t know what to say. Does the queen exist? I’ve never seen her.

user1493759849 · 30/08/2019 23:05

@RosaWaiting

As I said, I never said it doesn't happen, I said I had never seen it, despite living in a diverse area.

Don't make stuff up to suit your agenda. I've already put someone in their place for doing that.

Gowgi · 30/08/2019 23:08

Happened to me today by a gang of teenage girls in a park.
I'm English but look different I guess.
Hard shielding my children from that, its incredibly intimidating and heartbreaking.

angell84 · 30/08/2019 23:08

@lalag - you said that people do not talk to you at bus stops in London. Surely you know that London is a lot busier than the rest of the country? I have been in London and no one has ever talked to me at a bus stop either, usually because they are stressed and are rushing for their next tube.

In Liverpool, people do chat to me at bus stops.

OP posts:
Helendee · 30/08/2019 23:08

Angell84

Yes it’s ridiculous isn’t it? I despair.

angell84 · 30/08/2019 23:10

Thanks for sharing @Gowgi. Would you like to share what they said? I think that it is important to talk about this.

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 30/08/2019 23:12

User, by that logic I could post on most threads saying “I’ve never seen that”.

What did you want to convey with your post? Sorry if being thick but I have clearly missed something.

angell84 · 30/08/2019 23:13

@user1493759849. The point is - why does it matter that you haven't seen it?

I am thinking of when a Polish girl told me that she had experienced racism.

If I had said back to her, " well I have never seen it happen", how is that any way relevant to her experience?

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 30/08/2019 23:13

User “I've already put someone in their place for doing that.”

Did you? I didnt see that either.

angell84 · 30/08/2019 23:15

Sorry that happened to you @rosawaiting. Remember, you are fantastic - no matter what anyone else says.

OP posts:
RosesAndRaindrops · 30/08/2019 23:15

Utter knobhead.
Just ignore him, not worth the headspace.

WhoAmIToTellYou · 30/08/2019 23:15

That’s a reflection of the sad state this country is in however throwing insults back at such a person would sadly only confirm to them how horrible those ‘outsiders’ really are.
Respectful response in the only way forward, people dont change their views when they’re insulted back.

TwentyEight12 · 30/08/2019 23:16

I’m aware that racism and prejudice overall are getting worse in this country.

I’m not sure there is anything one can say or should say to bigots. They aren’t bright enough to understand wit and he was quite obviously a Brexiteer.

Says it all.

RosesAndRaindrops · 30/08/2019 23:18

They aren’t bright enough to understand wit and he was quite obviously a Brexiteer

See, that kind of attitude fucks me off and I didn't even bloody vote Leave, I voted Remain.
Makes you sound just as bad tbh.

TwentyEight12 · 30/08/2019 23:19

He asked her if she got thrown out of the other country.

RosaWaiting · 30/08/2019 23:24

“They aren’t bright enough to understand wit and he was quite obviously a Brexiteer.”

This attitude pisses me off too. Also the term “gammon”.

I just looked back through the thread and “user” seems to be offering biscuits to posters reporting experiences of racism.

RubaDubMum89 · 30/08/2019 23:24

Oh OP, you poor thing, ignore this utter twat.

If you're faced with the situation again, I'd ask how far back they can trace their family history. Just because they're white doesn't make them 100% native.

For example, I'm white, I've an accent associated with England, but, not one tiny bit of me is English (heritage wise, I was born and bred here so that makes me English by default in my opinion).

Fuck idiots like this. If you're not one for confrontation or cross words, a well practiced look of disgust should do the trick.

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 30/08/2019 23:29

What a dick. I'm so sorry you had to experience this. From my point of view welcome back! I hope you're years here are happy ones xx

TwentyEight12 · 31/08/2019 00:16

I do so love it when what a person writes is edited down to fit someone else’s viewpoint.

The whole of my paragraph was pointing to bigots and not Brexiteers.

Anyhoo, cannae be arsed to argue, it’s two minutes of my life i’ll never get back.

JammieSplodger · 31/08/2019 00:46

Social media is the greatest propaganda tool ever created. Brexit, then Trump getting in, far right movement getting big around the world. OP, I've heard so many stories like yours since the brexit vote, very sorry to hear what you've experienced. This once forward-thinking country is going backwards at some rate of speed. The last 3 and a bit years have been thoroughly depressing :(((

RosaWaiting · 31/08/2019 00:56

Jammie these things go in waves though

When I was little there was no social media and I was terrified that the BNP would send me “back” to a country I didn’t know. Parents had windows broken a couple of times before I was born. Then in my teens a d 20s things settled a lot - the BNP certainly stopped being active in my neck of the woods.

My sister also thinks social media has made it worse, I don’t know, perhaps it’s just more visible.

Patroclus · 31/08/2019 01:23

You've put nobody in their place User. Youve made an arse of yourself, is that perhaps what you're thinking of? oh and reacted with weird glee to hearing about a black guy bing racist

You know why you played the 'well I've never seen' it spiel and we know. The Police recorded a massive rise in racism post referendum

Patroclus · 31/08/2019 01:26

Nothing moe pathatic than people who dont have the confidence in their their beliefs to be honest about them.

RosesAndRaindrops · 31/08/2019 01:37

My sister also thinks social media has made it worse, I don’t know, perhaps it’s just more visible
Yeah, I can agree with that - as much as I love social media and extol its virtues, I think it has its dark side too - as in racism and hate is more visible and allowed to flourish.