Today I cried about racism

[angell84]

I was born in England, to English parents. We moved to another EU country, and I have an accent from that country.

I moved back to England a few weeks ago. Today a man said to me " you are not from round here are you". I said that "my accent is from ....". He then said , " Are you over here taking one of our jobs?" very aggressively.
I said , " actually I am from England originally". Thinking on it later - I thought - I shouldn't have even had to justify myself by saying that!
He glared at me and said "it sure doesn't sound like you are English, did they kick you out of so and so country".

I cried when I got home, what would you say in this situation?

I am South European and I heard:
-You can make a good waitress
-I would rape your accent
-You taking our jobs
-You guys are a pest
-You Arab cunt/bitch
Etc.

And it happens quite often. Been here for a really long time, 10+ years, I am way more qualified than most of them and pay A LOT of taxes.

Why don't you say to them I am not here to take your jobs but I am here to claim benefits and free housing (you can also mention you are planning to bring your family) - it really gets them. Its fun.

Welcome to England. I am not the typical English-woman but we sometimes are still considered white europeans.
Imagine what happens with people of colour.

Appreciation for those people of colour who are treated less for having a different skin colour in 2019.

I hope these experience helps us all to speak up and defend those more vulnerable- racism is a nasty disease

I'm an immigrant, and I also happen to look different to most of the people in this country, so even before I open my mouth people can form racist views.

I have developed a very thick skin and just laugh stuff off and tell especially malicious people to fuck off. I make sarcastic jokes about stealing their jobs (I'm a doctor so I find this especially amusing because they probably would not be doctors if I wasn't here since most of them are lazy and stupid). I know it's not a great answer but it's how I deal with it. People who think this way are very, very stupid. Not much point in arguing with stupid. Just be thankful you aren't as stupid as they are - that would be rubbish.

@Toastymash Agree. You must learn how to get over it otherwise it's so depressing.

It's interesting the fact that, when we (immigrants with foreign accents) have "powerful" jobs, their racism vanish and they are incredibly polite until we have provided that service. Even when they just been racist at you in the coffee shop next door.
Then they go back to being shitty.

However, I must say there's a lot of English people who don't put up with it and always come to the rescue. And surprisingly, a lot of older males (70+yo) .

@NotSayingAWord

I agree. And actually I think the UK is pretty good about racism, overall. You get racist people everywhere sadly, it's just how large groups of people are when someone is different. Happens in every country in the world. But I find the UK to be one of the most tolerant countries. I struggle to think of many places that you would call less racist. I think to avoid racism completely you need to just live in a country where everyone looks like you.

I heard a discussion a few weeks ago
Some people talking about asylum seekers who were from a country that definitely has a current war
I was shocked & saddened
It made me think about people who had escaped during WW1 & 2 & all the history & stories

A few weeks ago, I was asked where I was from, conversation roughly went like this

Other person(OP): Where do you come from
Me: Here
OP: No where were you born
Me: London
OP: No Where are you from

For the record, I am white, but my dad is from a different country and its not the first time this has happened, but its happening more and more

NotSayingAWord what vile things to say to you, I am so sorry.

It's just awful what people think they can get away with.

Poor you. Brexit has given these arseholes a louder voice. Please know that there's lots of people standing side by side with you x

@angell84 Thank you, unfortunately it was the usual, why you here? Go back home, you don't belong here, is that even your baby? (He is whiter than me)

Annoyingly I'm a teacher on maternity leave so I would like to think I could just confront them or set them straight but after just having a baby I just haven't got the energy or fight in me.

Nor did I want to get into a slanging match with aload of teenagers who pissed on cider in front of my toddler!

My partner got them years ago when he returned to the UK after a childhood in OZ. Britain is very good about tackling racism but it's still there unfortunately.

Since 2016 my dd has being stopped and asked where her parents are from. She is autistic so does not know how to respond but who would? It has happened a few times now.

She is racially ambitious and we have always joked she could be from Southern Europe, Latin America, Asia or the Middle East.

She has a light tan to her skin and jet black hair. Brexit has given people free rein to make comments and ask questions.
It's not nice to be othered.

I think that whilst here in the UK we are seen to be less racist and more tolerant than other countries, the reality is that it has been bubbling under the surface for many years and Brexit and trump and the rise of the far right in other countries, has given it a chance to bubble up into every day life.

The insidious hidden racism is actually in some ways worse. You could not fight that. Everyone can talk about and act with open racism.

Interesting that one of the posters up thread mentioned another couple witnessing racism against her and her husband and doing nothing. I think this is commonplace that people do stand by and do nothing.

I hate racism/xenophobia. I am already starting to think of toning my accent down a little.

The one good thing , is that this has really made me understand how awful racism is. I am white and I will not experience this as much as people of other ethnicities. It has shown me how really horrible it is and it will help me to fight racism done against other people.

If someone said to the people saying it "fuck off back to your country
". If they could really feel what it was like " - they would never do it again

To clarify my above comment, I wouldn't say to anyone to fuck off back to their country. I am saying , I think a lot of people say things without thinking, and only if someone said their words back to them , would they see how hurtful they are.

Posters above, what have you said - when people told you to go back to your own country. Or did you not engage?

Xenophobic not racist.

Can we cut it with this crap?

A) it's nitpicking. It's not like we're ok with one and not the other.

B) the equality act definition of racism is:

In the Equality Act, race can mean your colour, or your nationality (including your citizenship). It can also mean your ethnic or national origins, which may not be the same as your current nationality.

So discriminating against OP because of her perceived nationality is racist, regardless of the colour of her skin.

C) OP hadn't mentioned her skin colour, so if you're assuming "born in England to English parents" means white, you should have a good long think about why you assume that.

Thanks @mindystclaire.

I am actually white. Racism/xenophobia - they are all the same stinking pile of shit.

As a whole world we really need to work harder to stop it. I went home and cried yesterday. Because I opened my mouth. I can hide my accent
I am thinking of all the abuse that black, asian , and Indian people get. Undoubtedly Ten times more than I will experience.. For the colour of their skin. Imagine all the people that go home crying every day.

I would ask all people on here to please challenge incidents of racism if you ever see it happening

I'm mixed race. I completely understand all you've said OP.

There are times I have actively avoided speaking my other European language as instinctively I felt I might be harassed by a certain kind of person.

Notsaying, thanks for making the comments about older males sticking up for immigrants. We get a lot of comments that older peopoleare all racist int he UK. That has never been my experience. My parents were never racist. In fact ina sense a large part of what they suffered during world war 2, being bombed etc was because the UK with American's help were fighting on the Western front to preserve our liberal values and to stop the gas chambers of gypsies, jews and others - the thinking in the UK in 1949 was never again, we are all equal, let us treat everyone well - this is exactly what we fought for (as long as people comply with the law of course). So this idea that gers about that all older people are racist is very unfair on them.

@saoirse31 Ireland is one of the whitest countries in Europe. You wouldn't believe the abuse my BiL got in Cork.

Happened to me quite recently, some yob not older than 14 told me to fuck off back to my country. Well, i told him something also very racist and insulting (he wasn't white). He did fuck off eventually.

@saoirse31 I have to say- I have also heard about alot of racist abuse in Ireland aswell. I think that it is a big problem in Ireland as well. Ihave Polish friends in Dublin and they said that Irish people will not associate with them, and treat them like second class citizens. I have also attended a work training day where an African woman told me that the minute that she landed in Dublin she was told to "fuck off back to Nigeria", she wasn't from Nigeria. She said that ahe had something said to her every week

It is horrible what one comment to do. I used to be very friendly and quite chatty to strangers. Now I don't open my mouth at the bus stop, train station, or even to the man working in my local corner shop. I keep my Head down, and only talk to people that I know

@FishCanFly I don't know why you proud of fighting racism with racism. The fact that he it not white does not mean he is not british fyi

Not quite the same but I was accused of being a grockle (tourist) in my home town - very aggressively as he deemed I had parked in 'his space' (i.e. outside his house). I told him that I had lived in the town for longer than he had been alive, and if he wanted a drive he should have bought a house with one instead of a flat. He shut up then. People need to be called out on this crap. The reason they are so bloody mouthy is because no one answers them back...

I haven't experienced racism or 'otherism' in this country.

But I have seen it. Against a young black Muslim woman.

And I have heard it. A person who otherwise seems lovely, wanting to have a lovely sympathetic discussion about 'wot about them Muslims, and their sharia law, ay?', and 'those Polish, you know, coming over here, taking our jobs, driving the prices and profits down, and doing a crap job'. . . our faces must have been a bloody picture. We listened to what he had to say, and then quietly, and respectfully, told him we didn't agree with him, and why. I doubt it really got past his filters, but he heard us out, and hopefully knows not to try and have that conversation with us again.

I asked some Chinese and Indian work colleagues back home in NZ what their experiences of racism had been. They had been spat at, shouted at, verbally abused, and physically assaulted.

DH asked some Chinese and Indian work colleagues here in the UK what their experiences of racism had been. They had been spat at, shouted at, verbally abused and physically assaulted.

It doesn't matter the colour of the skin of the racist, nor their nationality, their behaviours are the same, and the effects are the same. And there is not one country in the world that can claim to be racism and bigotry free. And there aren't 'degrees' or classes of racism and bigotry.

You had a rather unfortunate encounter with a xenaphobe OP. I speak another language with an accent and am often treated differently, people ask why I'm here (not in UK) - it's sad, but I try to not let it bother me.

This summer I was in a major European city and someone threw a lighter at my daughter and spat at my husband because my daughter is mixed race and he's an Arab Muslim. I spent about 4 hours in the police station to make a report. The police officer who was helping me was a young black woman, she'd recently moved to the city and she told me some disgusting things that have happened to her since moving there. I can't go into it because she told me in confidence and it's outing...

We're in 2019, and it feels like the dark ages.