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Original poster

That the sound of DH eating crisps makes me want to hit him on the head with a hammer?

112 replies

sweetkitty · 30/08/2019 20:36

I’m sure I have misophonia or something but my house is too noisy for me in general. DH is eating some kind of party snacks and the noise is driving me insane. It sounds like nails down a blackboard.

OP posts:
vinoblanco1 · 30/08/2019 22:37

My OH eating dinner next to me makes me feel like this. I have to zone out completely, else I know that I'll have an outburst.

ilovepixie · 30/08/2019 22:48

My OH gulps when drinking. The sound drives me crazy. I want to rip his head off

libertyminty · 30/08/2019 23:05

My dh snuffles heavily when eating crisps, I stopped buying crisps as couldn’t deal with the noise, he’s now taken to buying pistachio nuts which is equally as bad. The swirling noise in the bowl as he selects one to eat, then the cracking of the shell, followed by the heavy breathing chomping of the nut. Makes me feel murderous.
But it’s nowhere near as horrors his dad eating.
He comes to visit every couple of weeks and always wants a chippy. He gets a fish supper which is always massive. Dh’s dad has badly fitting false teeth. The noise made whilst he eats the food is beyond anything anyone should have to endure.
Clickety clack, sook, sook, slurp, click, click, click, wet sucking noise, click. All this is accompanied by clattering his knife and fork off the plate constantly.
It’s got so bad I refuse to have any food when he comes round and kind of hover around chatting but ready to escape when I can no longer cope.
The last time he was here I made the excuse of taking the bins out, even at the end of my garden I could her the cutlery banging off the plate.
Once the endless fish supper has been finished he then spends the next 40 minutes manoeuvring his tongue round his falsers to dislodge any stray bits of food.
Even writing this has given me a fury like no other.
Next time he comes I’m going to have to take the dog out on a lengthy walk at meal time.

Crustyjugglers · 30/08/2019 23:07

My DP is a very noisy eater - his mouth mostly stays open and it gives me the red mist!! His nose whistling at the same time is almost enough to tip me over the edge. I usually manage to restrain myself to saying "Are you enjoying that?' to which the answer is invariably "Yes." At which I fix him with the death stare - "Sounds like it!!". Have radio on to drown him out/prevent me from hurting him.

IndieTara · 30/08/2019 23:47

Ex DP chomped everything he ate, his teeth clanged together every time.
He said it was ' a bit of a clicky jaw '

DrMadelineMaxwell · 30/08/2019 23:52

Urgh - I'm very intolerant when it comes to certain noises.

DD makes a really loud gulp noise when she drinks and doesn't know any way to make it quieter.

DSis's jaw clicks when she chews. I cannot sit next to her when she eats as it goes right through me.

DH make disgusting slurpy noises when he eats chicken drumsticks as well as other finger food type things.

He also breathes REALLY loudly and has a clicky noise when it changes from breathing in to out. No amount of me telling him he's breathing REALLY loudly has him trying to not make the noise or find a way to be quieter.

Fucking grrrrr!

peakygal · 30/08/2019 23:54

Oh I feel you OP! You feel murderous lol

user1474894224 · 31/08/2019 00:19

I've found my people! 😂 I was once told when you can't stand them eating the relationship is finished. My DH has driven me nuts since day 1. He tips crisps into his mouth. He eats with a spoon. He doesn't breathe between mouthfuls. Now he's teaching the DC his skills!! There's no hope here.

gluteustothemaximus · 31/08/2019 00:24

Yep. Same here.

Crisps are bad. There's only like 10 crisps in a small bag so how are you crunching for a whole TEN MINUTES Angry

He slurps his cereal and milk. Slurps spaghetti. Very noisy eater.

Drives me mad.

Boxerbinky · 31/08/2019 05:49

This evening DH and I were sat peacefully after watching a film and he started rubbing his socked feet together Angry.. Think pulling wooden gloves off with teeth to me. I asked him to stop and he did it a couple of times more asking 'what this' all I can say is he must have a death wish!

Boxerbinky · 31/08/2019 05:54

Woollen not wooden Grin also I know mine is not food related but as it also made me feel feel murderous I decided to share!

Unusualusernames · 31/08/2019 06:18

Hahaha oh my god I feel the same. When I have PMS it's literally insane.

TheNestedIf · 31/08/2019 06:25

DP's son once had one of those disgusting licky sweet things that look like an underarm roller (and smell half as appetising). The slurping was so appalling, it triggered the fight-or-flight reflex and if DP hadn't had a word very sharpish I'd have been out of there.

We were doing 70 on the M4 at the time.

cortex10 · 31/08/2019 06:31

@beechblob yes the clunking spoon. I can often hear DH scraping away at his cereal bowl from upstairs. Sometimes I convince myself that it has woken me up if I'm having a lie in as it's the first sound I hear. Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

EncroachingLoaf · 31/08/2019 07:15

This thread is so funny I love it 😂

DH is like this, he eats so loudly. I have managed to get him to keep his mouth closed when chewing over the years at least. Envy

His whole family are like it. We were at MIL's recently and I could hear the loudest dribblyest god fucking awful lolly slurping coming from the next room. Stomped in there loudly telling 4 year old DS to eat his lolly nicely and not like an animal. It was actually MIL. I mean wtf.

Pamplemousecat · 31/08/2019 07:57

I also hate people repeatedly drumming fingers , or patting hair. The gentler it is the more infuriating it is. Makes me want to scream so badly.

Hopoindown31 · 31/08/2019 07:59

All these men living in blissful ignorance that their wives and girlfriends utterly despise them because of how they eat.

cricketmum84 · 31/08/2019 11:36

My DH hums while he is eating sometimes. Doesn't realise he is doing it! It makes me laugh rather than annoying me though.

bluebell34567 · 31/08/2019 11:38

havent read the whole thread op but thank you, you made me laugh so hard GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

bungaloid · 31/08/2019 11:51

Surely "drinking" the end of a bag of crisps makes a lot of sense, or am I doing a faux-pas?

PinkFlowerFairy · 31/08/2019 12:54

Drinking the end of a bag of crisps is horroble. I dont have any family members that do this!

I have misophonia though, and had no idea it was so common.

ElizaPancakes · 31/08/2019 13:01

I’ve spent about fifteen minutes glaring at oblivious husband while he masticates some granola and yoghurt. I debated whether to start a thread as he is lucky I have not actually committed GBH. I had to train him out of chewing with his mouth open when we first met and would seriously have dumped him if he hasn’t stopped.

His dad is the worst, I have to leave the room when he’s hear and has a tea or anything really.

Sweetbabycheezits · 31/08/2019 13:01

My DH eats just fine, very neat and quiet. Give the man chewing gum, though, and I seriously want to strangle him...

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 31/08/2019 13:06

OMG I didn't know that misophonia was a thing - I definitely have it! Eating noises that give me the rage in our house:

DH - the loud crunching of crisps and ice cubes
DSS - humming whilst eating
Other DSS - scraping soon on bowl for about HALF A FUCKING HOUR whilst eating soup. Takes the pattern off the bowl
DD - loud gulping of anything liquid!

greatvengeanceandfuriousanger · 31/08/2019 13:24

'd'H dumper trucks crisps, clacks the spoon off his back teeth and takes massive bites so he can hardly breath AngryEnvy

He now eats with his mouth closed, doesn't scrape his knife and fork together (my pet hate) and doesn't bang his cutlery off the crockery (DS).

We have a family member that we only invite every other year because of the cutlery/crockery noise. Every year they've been asked nicely not to make the noise, last year just after they complained DS left the table due to the noise. They have one chance. I'll mention it before we eat and if happens again we won't be asking them again and they'll know why. It's a shame because no-one else bothers with them. I'd rather have my family around the table together than put up with it.