To be furious at this comment

[ButterflyOne1]

I'm livid at a comment my sister has made on Facebook.

I try and raise money for a suicide prevention charity as my DP completed suicide in 2011.

This year I'm doing a charity event and I shared my justgiving page on Facebook.

My sister has commented "My latest charity I'm supporting is feed my kids at home". WTF.

I think this is so insensitive. I try to raise money as they supported me during the toughest time of my life.

My sister seems to hate the fact that I've been successful in my life. She's always putting me down but this feels too far. AIBU to be annoyed?

It's a bitchy comment but it doesn't sound like she's worth worrying about. Anyone worth knowing wouldn't say anything like that.

What an insensitive mean comment

I would love to go NC with her but that upsets my parents. We had a huge row a few years ago and didn't speak for six months and I genuinely didn't miss her.

We both make no effort to see each other but it's her 50th birthday in December and foolishly we're going on a long weekend with my parents for it.

I think I'll keep my distance for now and even on holiday I can do my own thing.

Can you unfollow her on FB?

She was a bit tactless but perhaps she had seen a lot of fundraising requests recently?

I do think that raising money for charity has to begin by giving it yourself. Giving £20 per month by standing order raises £240 per year, at far lower cost to the charity than a sponsored event.

The amount is small, because I was young and poor at the time, but I began giving £5 per month to the Red Cross a long time ago, I think it was 1997. I don’t notice it and have just kept it running through periods of low pay, maternity leave etc. That now totals £1320. Would I have sat down one day and written a cheque for £1320 to the Red Cross? Probably not. Over time I have added other direct debits to other charities, so I never feel any shame in not responding to one-off requests - even though I often do for friendship reasons.

It’s not just ‘a bit tactless’ and she could have just scrolled past and ignored it. Instead she made a snide comment that is incredibly cruel, considering the OP’s loss.

It’s not just ‘a bit tactless’ and she could have just scrolled past and ignored it
Exactly she’s actually gone out of her way to make a pointed nasty remark on the just giving page, it is personal.
People are entitled to their thoughts but it’s not ok say what you like and just expect people to not get upset.

I know I just don't understand why she'd want to go out of her way to hurt me. I'm her baby sister yet shes's always been very cold.

Firstly OP I'm so sorry for your loss, and secondly I'm very sorry you have such an unsupportive prick of a sister. I would be proud of you and be helping you raise money if you were my sis

OP please message me the charity if it is not outing.

There are all different kinds of ways to raise awareness and fundraise. You are a star.

I'd reslly explore doing your own thing on holiday.

But there is a strong possibility that the remark is just a general random and unthinking (therefore tactless) comment about how she feels about charity fundraising, rather than specifically about the charity in question or the OP. That’s part of the problem with Facebook - it is scattergun and people can hurt others very easily.

One of my parents died of a horrible, progressive disease. I actually try to avoid engaging with fundraising events and efforts around it, because I find some of them very trivialising and a rather facile way of people getting on a charity bandwagon. But I recognise that is because my emotions are too close to the surface around that particular topic. However, it doesn’t mean that I don’t care - my DH and I have left a substantial amount in our wills to a related charity and I am also part of a medical research study on that disease. So I do support that cause but quietly, because I couldn’t trust myself to take rejection or lack of support in a rational way.

Another thing about charities that been all over the news in the past few years is the huge Salaries paid to board members and what little actually goes to those in need.

Given all your updates, her shitty comment doesn’t sound totally out of character. Don’t be furious, you know her and, at 50, she’s not likely to change much. She could’ve just scrolled on by your post and you, equally, can just scroll on past her poison.

The comment was unecessary.
However. I do have lots of friends who heavily support charities and while I understand this, lots of them plug them heavily particularly the constant sharing of just giving pages. Most of these friends are far better off than some of us but actively encourage everyone to dig deep, even a fiver helps etc. It can get tiresome.

OP i am sorry for your loss and sorry you have a nasty sister. Charity fatigue is not an excuse to make a comment like that to your own sister. You just scroll past.

Enough with the charity fatigue comments. She's the OP's sister who knows full well what happened in the her. There's no excuse for being so heartless and nasty.

Sadly I think this is another example of how nasty she truly is.

I don't have a scooby what the comment meant and OP hasn't really clarified so who knows? 🤷‍♀

Its obvious what it means. It means ‘I don’t give a shit what you went through when you lost your partner to suicide, and you asking for money for this irritates me, and I want to make a shitty selfish nasty little comment to hammer that home’.

Your sis is a twat.
Ignore her adolescent comment.

Its obvious what it means.

Not to me, I'm afraid. It's pretty oblique, although I would guess it's meant to be unpleasant in some way.

It sounds like you don't have a great relationship, so perhaps she is annoyed at the only time you have made any contact with her is to ask for money?