To be furious at this comment

[ButterflyOne1]

I'm livid at a comment my sister has made on Facebook.

I try and raise money for a suicide prevention charity as my DP completed suicide in 2011.

This year I'm doing a charity event and I shared my justgiving page on Facebook.

My sister has commented "My latest charity I'm supporting is feed my kids at home". WTF.

I think this is so insensitive. I try to raise money as they supported me during the toughest time of my life.

My sister seems to hate the fact that I've been successful in my life. She's always putting me down but this feels too far. AIBU to be annoyed?

It sounds like she is fed up of donating. It's lovely that you want to raise money for a cause that helped you but you, yourself are not actually giving the charity money everyone else is providing the money.

Whilst it was probably unreasonable for her to comment no doubt if she hadn't said something you would have asked her again and she probably felt it was easier to say no virtually than face to face.

If you are constantly fundraising from the same pool of people they will grow resentful.
This, plus she’s skint.
It seems a big leap to say it’s because she’s resentful of your success.

People are getting charity fatigue.

This ^^ is true.

The charity is sadly very close to your heart but that doesn't mean it's close to everyone's, although she could've just scrolled by.

All charities are closer to certain people than others.

Has she donated every time you have fundraised in the past? I think this is her way of saying that she has had enough and can't afford to keep giving money.

Yes she might have charity fatigue but that comment was shitty, insensitive, and unnecessary.

I'm supporting is feed my kids at home"
Is your sister struggling? Is she short of funds to feed her kids? Lacking support?
A quick google only links to Scotland and sure-start charity but still no feed my kids at home charity so maybe she is making a public statement that she is struggling whilst you are fundraising for possible strangers.

My sister seems to hate the fact that I've been successful in my life. She's always putting me down

It could be that she is jealous of your life but also....
That may be how you see your relationship-I once asked my sister why she hated me. She looked like I had slapped her he was so shocked and was distraught I thought that way. She thought we were best friends and the way she spoke about me was just sarcasm.

We are now, happy to say, best friends.

If your sis only said that to hurt your feelings then you're letting her succeed ("win") by letting it bother you.

If she said that coz she had a selfish moment, then it's a waste of your energy to care.

Actually, It's just a waste of your energy to care either way. If you think she hates you then quietly exclude her from seeing all your posts.

I think that is vile of her. I understand charity fatigue but why say anything, particularly given what you have gone through. So sorry OP.

I’ve got charity fatigue too but I’ve got bloody manners to keep it shut if someone close to me was raising money for something I knew effected their family rather than something random they’ve decided to do.

Completely inappropriate comment.

Sounds like a sister thing. Not against your charity, but just stating reality for her now.

I'm reading that as she can't afford to donate, which is fair enough.
Sounds like a clumsy attempt at a joke, not a dig?
Don't think it was anything against you, just think meh and concentrate on the donations you do get.

I would be a bit pissed off but maybe she's just saying that she's broke and perhaps tired of being asked to donate to causes when she struggles to feed her family?

So sorry for your loss, OP . It's lovely of you to try to ensure others who go through what you're going through, get support.

Your sister is saying that for her, charity begins at home.

YANBU.

If people have ‘charity fatigue’ or don’t support the same causes as you, they can simply scroll past and not donate - or they feel they must say something, a simple ‘Sorry, I’m skint at the moment - but good luck!’ is enough. Nobody will mind. They don’t have to make a dig at the fact someone is raising money, and to do so when they know a cause is very personal and linked to a great sadness or trauma in someone’s life is outright nasty. All they had to do was say nothing.

You could always change your permissions so that she can't see your posts, but you can still see hers and comment. I've done that with my sister due to her cringy and embarrassing comments about my kids etc x

I think she is just saying she can't afford your fundraising. It may be better just to donate to the charity regularly rather than asking the same people for money. This is presuming she normally donates. If she doesn't then instead of not wanting to give again she might be explaining why she doesn't give. It is difficult to know without knowing her financial situation. There are possible reasons why she said it but she should not have said it considering why you are raising money for this charity. So whatever she meant I would ignore it and forget about it. You only put up a Facebook post. You did not ask her directly.

Can't believe all the posters rolling out 'charity fatigue' like it's a legitimate reason for being a total cunt. Never heard of this phrase before and think it's bullshit anyway. As if people have been non stop donating for the last 30 years.

It's fine to not want to donate to a charity event for whatever reason but FFS if your sister had lost their partner through suicide and found comfort by fundraising for a charity that helped her wouldn't you just keep your mouth shut and not donate rather than putting a dig up on FB.
You might personally think oh not another fundraising event but why comment so dismissively and publicly.

I think she's trying to tell you she hasn't got much spare money this month.

I think she is just saying she can't afford your fundraising.
Fine so say it to the OP in private don't hijack the OPs fundraising post just to have a dig.

Sounds like your sister is struggling and you know that, given your “I’ve been successful in my life” comment.

YANBU because it's everyones right to feel upset or otherwise at a comment. Doesn't mean the comment is bad or wrong, but you are within your rights to feel what you want.

Her comment is a pretty standard (poor/lame) joke you see on an awful lot of charity fundraising pages and generally seems to imply that charity starts at home and that they have more important things to spend their money on first.

Personally, given your circumstances where you DP committed suicide, I think it's dis-respectful of her to make light of the status, but I would hope it's no more than a non-thought-through joke than anything malicious.

Perhaps it's because you get a lot of charities on FB. But I would discuss the comment directly with her TBH.

She's rude and has no empathy. If she can't afford to donate, no one is forcing her to. Her comment is in poor taste and unnecessary