To be upset at the use of this word?

[The4ks]

Was out shopping with dp today in the next town to ours.
Browsing charity shops as we like to do when in the middle of the shop a young woman and her friend are talking, well actually ranting very loudly for the whole shop to hear.
All about her neighbour and his son who's apparently in the 'mong' class.
Having a 4 year old autistic son ourselves we just shook our heads in disbelief and walked away before hearing anymore.
Dp agreed how upsetting it was to hear a poor child being described like that.
AIBU to be amazed and a bit scared that people still use words like this and the openness in which she did?

I wholeheartedly agree that words like mong, spaz , mental ( as in 'he went mental') are offensive and should not be used , not knowing the history / origin of the word is no excuse .
How ever I do tend to use words like idiot , nuts , mad , I now wonder if people are offended but dont say anything .
To some extent i think it depends on the context of the sentence.
I often use to say that my dog went nuts / mad when he was first let of his lead .
I called a friend a idiot for trying to carry 4 pints of beer at the same time ( dropped all 4 )
A couple of days ago I called my neighbour a idiot as was pulling out of a car park to fast and he almost hit me ( I would of called him a lot worse if there hadn't been so many kids around ! )

Genuinely not sure if this would offend anyone , , ????

I had this with my brothers mate on fb
She put up a status saying ‘took M to the nail salon and she had her first mani-she sat there looking like a right mong’
The kid was 3!
I unfriended her and haven’t spoken to her since
To me that’s up there with spaz p*ki and darkie
I can’t bear any of it

YANBU. I've also come across young people using the word, and when I've objected they said that they had no idea of the actual meaning and thought it was new slang.

I have cerebral palsy and really don't like the way (some) Americans casually use the word spaz/spastic to describe themselves or others. I pointed this out once only to be told 'oh, I just meant I was clumsy, it's a harmless word'.

Put it down to ignorance.
There is a history to that word that's very interesting.
Cut a long story short
The man who found that children with what we now term as Downs Syndrome found the gene that caused the condition.
Mongolians didnt like that they were called mongoles and in the late 60s took it to court.
They are now known as Downes because it was a Joseph Downes who did the research
Hope this helps .
The reason I looked into this is because I have a step daughter with Downes and wanted to learn more about the condition to help her in life..
I can also add that people still glare at her and I again put it down to ignorance.
Strange that the education system can teach children about gays etc yet not about a disability.

Using an offensive word you don't know is offensive doesn't make you offensive, If you genuinely believe the word has another meaning

I've pulled a couple of teens up on this word in recent years. They were shocked that I sent them out of class for it - they thought I had misheard it for something "worse". When I explained what it meant they were suitably horrified and apologetic. Education is really important on these things.

Using a offence word is offensive because its an offensive

There is a difference between being deliberately offensive and using a word that you have no idea is offensive though. The first is absolutely worse that the second because of the intent.

Not saying it was this case because it obviously wasn't, but sometimes it's a language difference.
I have insulted number of people and nations and basically over the years everyone, I guess because some words in my native language sound like very bad words here😮
As much as I understand that the words can be insulting, please do take into the account when speaking to someone foreign or overhearing them that it's not malicious. Often it's not even a same word. I was once shouted at "Racist bitch" after talking in my native language on the phone and had no idea why... It took another 4 months for me to find out why the lady took such an offence to an innocent word. 1 letter difference.

Funny, I commented on this last night and today my mother in law used the word ‘mongol’ talking about an old friends son. I was completely shocked. Fortunately OH reminded her that that was a completely offensive word to use. Even more so as our son, her grandson has autism and learning difficulties.

“Having an austic son ourselves” .... excuse me but I fail to see how this relevant. The word you overheard is awful but your comparison is too.

'spaz' is acceptable in the US. I complained to a paper that used it in a column and got no response. To them it just means 'klutz' or something.

But 'uppity' is racist there...

Retard is still commonly used in the states as well.

YANBU to dislike the word, but you’re being kind of naive to think people don’t still talk that way in 2019. Ableism is rife in society.

@SimonJT not just states

I meant my medical professionals, I should have clarified my comment, that was lazy of me.

Summer of course you're right that it shouldn't matter whether we have an autistic child or not, it's still a horrible word for anyone to hear.
I guess I just meant how saddened I was was to realise this could've been my child she was talking about

Angel, I don't think I'm being naive to not expect a grown woman with kids herself to be shouting her mouth off like that in public

I think you’re being reasonable to expect that people act decently, but I think you are being naive if you think this behaviour is not common in 2019. I’m visibly disabled, I hear this kind of thing literally every time I leave the house. It’s extremely normalised in society.

I'm sorry to hear that angel.
And I suppose you're right, it's still an ignorant world we live in

I've genuinely never heard it. I've heard Mongol in the days when it was used to describe people with Downs, but not "mong". I don't think I would have known what she was talking about, depending on the context in which it was used.

There is a difference between being deliberately offensive and using a word that you have no idea is offensive though. The first is absolutely worse that the second because of the intent

I agree Lisa, but MN doesn't agree with us.

I remember my first day at secondary one of our teachers was doing a speech about how he was going to help us learn as that is what he is paid to do and he wont tolerate us messing around, he then added none of you are spastics, my brother has Cerebral Palsy, so I told him that I found that very offensive because of my brother, it was actually the first time I had heard it used. To be fair to the teacher he apologised in front of the class and to me after the class. He was a great teacher on the whole and took his job seriously unlike a lot of other teachers.

I agree that there's a generation who probably haven't heard the word Mongol to mean someone with Down syndrome - in the late 70s/early 80s there was an ad campaign on the escalators at Waterloo Station which went "You say Mongol. We say Down Syndrome. His friends call him David", which is the only place I know the word from - but it's still clear that the derivation of the new phrase 'mong out' is the same insulting comparison to special needs as 'window-licker' and many other terms, so I've told kids I work with that I won't tolerate it (and they've been surprised but agreeable, much easier than getting them to stop using 'gay' as an insult).

I haven't heard 'mong' as a standalone word in 30 years, except about 20 years ago doing youth work. One 12yo girl said it to another and I had a go at her. I explained the derivation and she was very confused as in their part of East London, it was short for 'mongrel' and a slur on someone who was mixed race (the rest of the kids confirmed this and insisted they'd never use anti-disabled terms - which I rather doubted given the wide range of racist and crude language they'd learned at home, but their earnestness seemed genuine).