FIL threatening to call the police because DH won’t speak to him WWYD?

[CloudberryJam]

As title says. Father in law has threatened (by email) to call the police because DH won’t speak to him. Says it's a “welfare check” because he doesn’t know how DH (in his 40s) or our child is. The ILs were cut off for abuse (called DH names to our child) and threats to me (said they would come in my home and see my son whether I liked it or not).

I think we should send the email to the police so they have heads up that it is time wasting because the ILs know DH is not speaking to them and the reasons why, and tell the ILs we’ve done that (with copy to the police) so the police don’t arrive at our door.

Is that unreasonable?

@CloudberryJam No, I mean they’ll create a health drama to try and force your DH’a hand to visit/talk to them.

“I know you are not talking, but Dad thinks he’s had a heart attack”

“You’re probably not interested but Mum has a referral for suspected cancer”

That type of thing. It will be bollocks of course, but it often makes people put aside the argument and pick up the phone. It’s a very common tactic

You can't call the police because someone wont talk to you.

He’s not going to tell the police that though, is he? He’s going to say he’s been unable to contact his beloved son and thinks something may be wrong.

I think lyralalala means an illness will be invented to guilt trip you into contacting them, for example they’ll claim a lump has been found somewhere, or that one of them has been rushed into hospital for some reason or another.

AnchorDownDeepBreath

They harassed another family member for seven years and may well be still doing so. It’s several years with us and they are going strong but this is the first time they have mentioned police.

They laid low for a while because a relative was in prison for threatening harm and I think it scared them. Back with a vengeance now though.

lyra means that if this doesn't work, you'll get an email saying that your FIL is desperately ill: basically trying to emotionally blackmail DH into responding. My DM did this with me once: I wasn't giving her the attention she wanted, so she told me my DF had collapsed. He hadn't: he'd tripped over in a shop, but someone had caught him …

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Ignore it. Even if they do call the police you can show them the email and tell the police you are being harassed by IL's.

Got to go out, will catch up later. Thanks everyone.

Just ignore them. I understand it’s annoying and a little bit distressing but what exactly are you concerned about? It doesn’t sound like they’re going to try and just turn up. If the police do, then you have the email trail, and even if it’s under the guise of ‘welfare check’, well they’ll then confirm you’re fine.

As to WWID, I’d file the email into a folder and ignore it.

Morons.
Let the police come, show them the email and they will make a record of it so if they try something more drastic in the future, this incident would undermine any claims they might make.

As if the police aren't busy enough

I don't think you need to do anything. Just keep the emails, as you have, in case they escalate. The police will soon tell them if they do in fact choose to waste police time.

Ignore. Please don't waste the police's time by reporting him as a PP suggested, they have enough to do.

I suspect that if he called the police for a welfare check then the police would try to locate a telephone number for you in. A quick telephone conversation with the Police would resolve the matter.
I doubt whether they would entertain a welfare check request in the first instance anyway.

If you don't want to be bothered by their emails but want to keep them as evidence, set up a rule for any email they use, if you can, to filter it into a folder.

Wouldn’t it be easier for your dh to change his email address?. Let them ring the police if they want to.

The police have seen it all before.

@CloudberryJam, they won't blame you for hurting them, what @lyralalala was inferring is they may invent some medical emergency as a way of getting attention/contact from your DH. It's a step sometimes taken when people are NC - they'll dive to untold depths to get contact again.

I’d email back with “you are fully aware as to why myself and DH do not wish to have any further contact with you, and further attempt to contact us will be treated as harassment”.

Then IF the police turn up ask them to submit a complaint for harassment.

It's tempting to respond saying "Go right ahead if you fancy being charged with wasting police time." But on the whole I agree with others that you just need to ignore this. If he actually puts the threat into action, it will achieve nothing other than wasting his own time.

How long is it since you saw your pil?

Info about messages via social networking I'm sure email should be taken into consideration. www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q770.htm

Op, stupid suggestion but needs to be said. Even though they are miles away keep your doors closed/locked and downstairs windows closed, especially if upstairs. What would worry me would be the threat of him coming to your home to see your ds.
Don't give them any way to get into your home.
It's a long way to come, but their harassment seems to be unstoppable atm.
I think I would send a solicitors letter, might stop any future harassment.

Another here saying do nothing. Any reaction is feeding their sense of justification. We are NC with a portion of DH's family. The stuff they put on FB and in letters to us you wouldn't believe but all the same we keep a dignified silence. We have tried to engage with them but they are ridiculous in their accusations so they are reaping what they have sown.

I don’t think the police are advanced enough to match your FIL’s welfare check request with your heads up email.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. They’ll lap up any attention, good or bad, so don’t give them the satisfaction of a response.

Just ignore them. If the police turn up explain the situation and show them the emails.

Seems a lot of drama