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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What time is too late for a party to end?

64 replies

Zippyzoppy · 30/08/2019 13:19

My daughter is having her 18th birthday party at our house tomorrow night. She is a good kid, and I'm not worried about the house being trashed.

We do however, live in a quiet street. We have a good relationship with our neighbours, and have informed them of the party and have received good wished from them.

My one big concern is the noise. So my question is - if you like your neighbours, and they were having a one off, 18th birthday party - what time would you think it would be until you got pissed off if a bit loud? DD is thinking it should go on quite late, but I don't want to upset anyone. BTW, there are no babies in the street - youngest resident is a kid about 14.

OP posts:

LochJessMonster · 30/08/2019 13:21

Midnight for a one off on a weekend and you tell each house that it will 100% be finished by 12.00.

Yeahnahyeah1 · 30/08/2019 13:22

I would say 1am.

PiggyPokkyFool · 30/08/2019 13:23

11pm is fine for a Saturday night. Let people know that it will be silent after that time - so everyone gone rather than spilling out into the street, loud voices, car doors banging at 11 and you shouldn't annoy anyone.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 30/08/2019 13:26

As a one-off, if warned in advance, I wouldn't be fussed about how late TBH. But If you do feel the need to plan a finish time, make sure that the time you tell your guests is an hour earlier, to allow for late running ubers and drunken stragglers.

Eistigi · 30/08/2019 13:30

I would tell partygoers that the party ends 11pm, but tell neighbours it will likely run till 12. That gives you time to make sure everyone is gone and all is quiet by 12.

winobaglady · 30/08/2019 13:35

It's a milestone birthday.
1pm is reasonable.
Have fun

Sirzy · 30/08/2019 13:35

Warn neighbours. Music down by 11 everyone out by 1

bumblingbovine49 · 30/08/2019 13:36

I would.tell neighbours it will.be done by 1am but tell the teenagers they need to be quiet after midnight and to have all gone by 1am

Birdsfoottrefoil · 30/08/2019 13:38

I don’t know why telling someone you plan to disturb their evening and disrupt their sleep makes it ok to do so. But in any case you are not allowed to make noise above permitted levels of 34 decibels adjusted (which is pretty quiet) in your neighbours home beyond 11pm.

berlinbabylon · 30/08/2019 13:39

Midnight at the latest. The party can continue, just turn the music down and close windows so you don't disturb people.

AmIThough · 30/08/2019 13:40

I can't believe people are saying 11pm. 18 year olds don't even go out til 10pm half the time!

I'd say all done and dusted by 1am is more than reasonable.

Birdsfoottrefoil · 30/08/2019 13:41

The law say it is a nuisance after 11pm.

thecatsthecats · 30/08/2019 13:43

Nothing outside by 11pm, and music down inside then too. Off at midnight.

Then it depends on the numbers and who's staying. I'd say a chuck out of 1am is fine, but make sure they're quiet as they leave, and coordinate it as much as possible. Staying up and chatting with a few staying over is fine.

Does your DD want to go to a club? If she's the youngest, she might have been waiting a while to be legal to enter - if she's the oldest, she'll have difficulty! If they do go then it will draw a neat line under it.

yulet · 30/08/2019 13:44

12 at latest if you're talking about loud music. Anything else and you should have hired a bloody nightclub.

Ihatesundays · 30/08/2019 13:44

The main thing is they need to be quiet when they are leaving,
It can end up being the nosiest bit with taxis and saying goodbyes etc.

ButterflyOne1 · 30/08/2019 13:45

I'd say between 12-1am. Make sure you contact your closest neighbours (maybe two doors each side) and prewarn them. You could be extra kind and go to the poundshop and buy a packet of ear plugs and chocolates for them.

ButterflyOne1 · 30/08/2019 13:46

Just read the replies. I can't believe how much of kill joys people are!!!

If my neighbours were having a party and told me about it in advance, I'd suck it up for one night. If it was a weekly occurrence then that's different.

BuildBuildings · 30/08/2019 13:47

11pm. You should have booked a club or bar really if it's a big party going on late. Tbh you'll be disturbing loads of people.

Bunglefromrainbow · 30/08/2019 13:48

I don’t know why telling someone you plan to disturb their evening and disrupt their sleep makes it ok to do so.

They have been told out of courtesy. There is no law that says they need to be informed but OP would prefer to mention it so that people can make any arrangements that they may want to and so that they understand what is going on and maybe so they have some expectation as to when it will end which likely reduces stress for many.

It is ok to have this party regardless of intentions to tell ones neighbours, we don't all need permission from the neighbourhood to enjoy our homes how we like and we don't need permission from anyone to throw a birthday party for our families there either.

OP - I think slowing things down as you get towards midnight is reasonable. Any later than this and the authorities could come and close the party down if it's particularly raucous.

SuzieQ10 · 30/08/2019 13:51

Music off at 11.30, guests leaving at midnight. Let your neighbours know it will all be done and dusted 12.30 latest and give them your number Incase it's too disruptive / loud. That's what my parents always did when I was a teenager.

It might feel a little early to 18yr old but you've decided to have this at home rather than renting a venue where it could have possibly gone on later.

Idontwanttotalk · 30/08/2019 13:52

I wouldn't be bothered what time it ended if my NDN said they were holding a party for DD's 18th birthday. I'd just hope that I found some of the music enjoyable.

If it was someone who was always throwing parties then I'd take a different view.

indy315 · 30/08/2019 13:53

1am is usually the best time. As some kids have had enough by that point.

But if it's a one off and your neighbours don't mind I'm sure if it's a bit later it will be okay

London91 · 30/08/2019 13:55

I think 1am is fine, but music down and noise kept down at half 11 or 12.
Hope your dd enjoys her birthday!

KatherineJaneway · 30/08/2019 13:55

Music turned right down or off by midnight, everyone gone by 1am.

Just read the replies. I can't believe how much of kill joys people are!!!

Not killjoys, considerate. Sunday night one of my neighbours had a massively loud birthday party until 3am. I suspect because the next day was a Bank Holiday they assumed it was fair game, they forget that some people have to work on Bank Holidays and don't want to listen to them all drunkenly singing Happy Birthday at 1am! It was bloody hot but I had to close the windows to shut the noise out

GiveMeHope103 · 30/08/2019 13:55

It's her 18th I think for one night everyone can deal with it. I think 2am is ok. 11pm? I cant imagine a party ending rather than starting then.

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