To think pay in care homes is scandalous

[Clappingforjoy]

I've worked in then and got out of it. Understaffed rushed off your feet. Rude management and simply unable to give the elderly the care they deserve.

It's nice that you are both happy for your properties to go to care homes instead of your children.

Many do not feel the same way.

Of course you are allowed your opinion/morals I'm just pointing out the fact that a lot of the population would rather not own property at all than see it go to a care home instead of their children.

🤷🏻‍♀️

My dad is on a pretty intensive medication regime, and specified care staff administer it (liquid morphine/anti-agitation drugs and so forth).
When he needs his morphine to be syringe-driven (imminent), then a District Nurse will need to call several times a day to do it.

a lot of the population would rather not own property at all than see it go to a care home instead of their children.
That's pretty twisted logic. Live in short-term tenancies all your lives, at the mercy of potentially unscrupulous landlords, and then have to go where the Council deem fit in your final days, so that your kids can get their hands on all your worldly goods?

It’s not “nice”, it’s self preservation. I’ve seen the kind of care homes deemed fit for people with no money, ergo no choice, I wouldn’t put my worst enemy in them. I want decent quality of life if I can’t look after myself, that’s what the money’s for, not to supply our kids with flash cars and expensive holidays when we pop our clogs.

I thought the idea of inheritance was to provide your children with a stable place to live with their families and an asset to give them security? Not flash cars/ holidays

Anyway we will have to agree to disagree. Despite your opinion on the logic it's the way a lot of people see it.

In community care all the carers administer medication. You’ll be handing out oramorph, which you’ll have to measure out, on your first day. It’s a lot of responsibility, and you’d be amazed at the mistakes I’ve noticed over the years!

In homes it tends to be the senior carers, it nurses if it’s a nursing home and you’ll need two of you present for controlled drugs. They have good systems and hopefully not many mistakes.

Also you should absolutely buy your house and have as much cash available in savings as possible. It buys you choice, so you don’t have to go where there’s a space and have no choice in the matter. Also if you have savings, you may be able to fund 24 hour care in your own home, rather than having to go into a care home. Which to me is by far the better option.

Personally I want my home to go to my children, they are all that's left of me when I'm gone and I want to leave them some security that means something, and I'll be doing what I possibly can to make sure I do not end up in a care home. I'd rather die with dignity knowing my family have security.

I know this is not an option for everyone though.

I thought the idea of inheritance was to provide your children with a stable place to live with their families and an asset to give them security? Not flash cars/ holidays hmm

This is how many people view inheritance. Which I find very strange. If I die at 80 then my son will be in his 50s. I hope by that point hes built himself a stable place to live with his family and has his own assets and wont be relying on mine by which point the money would presumably go to my grandchildren, however I hope he would raise them as I will him. That no one is giving you a free ride in life and any inheritance is a bonus and not an expectation.
If your children are relying on your death to provide a stable family life (not counting disabled children etc) then I'd be worried.

Absolutely @FormerlyFrikadela01. I’ve seen what inherited money gets spent on. The majority of people who get it have adult children of their own. One of my contemporaries went straight out and bought two top of the range his and hers cars when her mother died. My comfort comes first, the kids can have what, if anything, is left.

Most residential homes that don't have nurses (and many that do) use monitored dosage systems where meds come in dosette boxes already measured out.

DD has been in 3 residential schools, where medication had to be taken out of the original boxes by the care staff to give to her. Community care workers also could give her medication at home from the original boxes, so long as there was a MAR chart.

I thought the idea of inheritance was...
So, you've just made up a rule?
Surely, inheritance just "is what it is," a varying amount of money, to be distributed as the person sees fit, and to be spent in whatever way any recipient sees fit.

hereforasillygoosetime Your logic doesn't hold up for long. People don't buy houses for the sole or main reason of leaving it to someone when they die.

Exactly, and for it to provide the security of funding their children's care home fees?

It's interesting, I genuinely presumed people would want to leave their children with their properties

That's not what you've been saying. You've been claiming people wouldn't bother buying a home unless they could pass it on, which is clearly nonsense.

Of course people would want to, but they have to pay for their care first

Just as they earlier have to pay for their own food, holidays, gym etc

The state - i.e. the money paid by other people - is not a bottomless pit to subsidise the heirs mof mc / homeowners

It's interesting, I genuinely presumed people would want to leave their children with their properties confused

I'd love to leave everything to my children/grandchildren. However they will never be raised expecting a huge inheritance (not that it would be huge anyway) and will know that should we need care then that comes first. I actually find the idea of people rubbing their hands together at the thought of a big inheritance whilst watching their parents wallow away in a shitty cheap care home (seen it so many times) to be repulsive. Even if I didn't make it clear to my children I hope I'm raising them to feel out care comes first anyway.

My late mum had almost no assets, so I funded her care

Relying on the state would have meant she got the bare minimum to keep her alive
Even 10 years ago, I paid nearly 5k per month

That gave her an excellent home, lovely big room & views, enrichment activities, landscaped grounds
The staff, except for the young ones, had been there for 10-15 years

Totally different to the bare bones state provision

Another one here who can't see why people should be expecting the state to pick up the bill for their parents' care, just so they can inherit their house/assets?

Savings bring choices

Anyone who relies on what the state will be able / willing to provide in 20 years is a naive fool
especially if they deliberately dispose of assets they could have used

The demographics crisis combined with voters choosing lower taxes
could well lead to the elderly without assets being warehoused in vast dormitories, more like Victorian poor-houses

But, hand-on-heart, I also find it slightly galling that one of the reasons my dad's care home bill is so high, is that he's subsidising others who can't afford to pay themselves, particularly if it's because they've siphoned off all their assets to their children in earlier years.

Considering one nights bed and breakfast at a chain hotel can exceed £100 per night yet people are appalled at £1000-1600 per week care home fees. I know what I consider to better value for money. Also for those that think their inheritance is being frittered on care home fees could always care for their parents/relatives themselves.

@CallmeAngelina, are you sure? My parents’ care home only accepted self funders.

Exactly, CallMeAngelina

and many, expected by pp here to pay taxes for that support,
will be unable to accumulate their own assets or afford their own house

Eventually, voting demographics will change
and those without any prospect of inheritance for themselves or their DC will not be voting to subsidise the inheritance of the more priviliged

Those who have deliberately deprived themselves of assets could be choosing to be warehoused in their old age

I'm pretty sure that I read a statistic recently that said that "only" something like 18% (??) of the elderly actually go into care homes? Can anyone verify?
That seems very low to me, but I suppose many people would be able to stay at home for longer if they have a spouse living with them and able to support them (with carers coming in). That could knock the percentage down towards half. Others would die prematurely or quite quickly of illness. But it's dementia that is the main worry for long-term, self-funded expense.
I also read that the average length of residency for people in care homes is relatively low. Under 12 months???? Again, can anyone verify?