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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How do I ignore her without being rude?

87 replies

jess24x8 · 30/08/2019 08:05

I posted a picture of my finished living room on facebook and a lady that added me a few months ago that I used to go to school with(yet never spoke though) now won't stop messaging me. She's asking about whether we rent or whether we bought, how much we pay, where it's located, etc. I've been very quite blunt as I do t tent to ignore people but find it very intimidating as we are just acquaintances and it's really none of her business plus I'm not an open person to start with anyway. She has now proceeded to tell me that I should turn to the council and start claiming benefits like she does instead of paying so much for our house??? I kindly but bluntly responded and said that we are not entitled to anything due to how much we earn. (Instead of being rude and saying that I do not wish to claim benefits as we have more than enough money without them). She is now being pushy and asking me if I work then which I replied with 'yes' and she's now won't leave me alone and is asking where I work, how much I earn, Etc. I DO NOT WANT TO TELL HER THIS INFORMATION. When I don't respond, she double or triple messages me until I do. I don't know what to do. I don't want to block or unfriend her as we have a lot of mutual friends, don't want to be rude but also need to kindly tell her to p*ss off...

OP posts:

TurnOffTheTv · 30/08/2019 08:08

lady that added me a few months ago that I used to go to school with(yet never spoke though)

Just block her! Why do you care?? You’re not even real life friends

TurnOffTheTv · 30/08/2019 08:08

And so what if you have mutual friends?

forkfun · 30/08/2019 08:09

Just don't answer. She'll stop eventually. Or tell her you don't want to answer her questions as they are too personal.

Shoxfordian · 30/08/2019 08:09

Block her
She sounds like a weirdo

Yeahyeahyeahyeeeeah · 30/08/2019 08:10

Just block. End of.

Sooverthemill · 30/08/2019 08:10

Block her. She's harassing you. Just do it

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2019 08:12

You're investing far too much mental energy with this nutter. Just block her completely. Who cares what she thinks about it? She needs to be removed from your life permanently.

Bouffalant · 30/08/2019 08:13

If you don't like blocking people I'd start being blunter.

"I don't like discussing my finances"

"That's private information I'm not happy to talk about"

"I don't discuss my private business with strangers"

Atalune · 30/08/2019 08:15

Block. Who cares!

biggles50 · 30/08/2019 08:19

She sounds very odd. It's ok to block someone and it's ok to say "i can't answer your questions because they are so personal and I feel uncomfortable."

colourlessgreenidea · 30/08/2019 08:24

a lady that added me a few months ago that I used to go to school with(yet never spoke though)

Lesson learned about letting near-strangers in on the details of your life. Why did you accept the friend request if you were never friends and have never spoken to her?

I don't want to block or unfriend her as we have a lot of mutual friends

What difference does that make?

This is such a non-issue and is so easily remedied.

Tigger001 · 30/08/2019 08:24

I agree with PP, just explain you dont wish to discuss personal Information with her and if she persists block her.

100timewforgotten · 30/08/2019 08:24

If you don't want to block her then deactivate social media for a while.

colourlessgreenidea · 30/08/2019 08:25

It's ok to block someone and it's ok to say "i can't answer your questions because they are so personal and I feel uncomfortable."

Isn’t it bizarre that some people need this spelled out to them?

colourlessgreenidea · 30/08/2019 08:27

Or tell her you don't want to answer her questions as they are too personal.

Or tell her nothing whatsoever and ignore her completely as they’ve never spoken once IRL and barely knew each other a lifetime ago.

hopeishere · 30/08/2019 08:28

Ignore or block.

Why wouldn't you block her?

ThanosSavedMe · 30/08/2019 08:30

Just block her. She’s not a friend. And if any mutual friends ask why tell them. She’s not afraid of being rude so why are you trying to be nice and polite to her?

CoraPirbright · 30/08/2019 08:33

tell mutual friends that she is a rude nutter who demands to know personal information and is messaging you more than is normal and making you feel uncomfortable
block her

Job’s a good ‘un. There was a thread on here (zapped yesterday, I think, due to sensitivities) where the OP was being harassed by an acquaintance who seemed obsessed with her and had started turning up at her work place etc. Most of the advice was to message that her contact was unwanted and to block her and, and this is the important bit here, don't be so nice! We are conditioned to act ‘kindly’ and try not to offend but we get into all sorts of pickles because of this. You don't owe this woman anything! Just block her!!

Babynut1 · 30/08/2019 08:42

Go into Facebook messenger and stop her from being able to message you. I’ve done that with a woman I know through an activity, she never spoke to me during the activity yet would just message me for random messages on Facebook. So I’ve kept her as a friend but put a stop to her ability to message me!

user1473878824 · 30/08/2019 08:58

"You're being very rude. I don't want to talk about any of this."

Then never reply again. Defriend her. Done.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 30/08/2019 09:01

Why did you even accept her friend request and give her an insight into your private life and home?

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 30/08/2019 09:09

Why are you worried about being rude? She isn't!

A queenly-toned rebuke such as other PPs have suggested will do nicely here. I.e. inform her she's being rude and intrusive, and that you have no intention of divulging personal information to inquisitive strangers online. Then block her.

Or just block her anyway.

pasturesgreen · 30/08/2019 09:11

Perspective, OP: she's just someone you used to go to school with and, by the sound of it, were never particularly close with. Why you started discussing your personal business with this woman to begin with is beyond me, and I cannot fathom why you'd think twice before blocking the nosy busybody.

You don't own this woman anything.

MollyButton · 30/08/2019 09:12

You need to sort out your security settings, then unfriend her if you've accidentally added her. She is not a friend, you don't even know her.

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2019 09:14

and a lady that added me a few months ago that I used to go to school with(yet never spoke though) now won't stop messaging me.

So you hold no responsibility for accepting her onto your friend list?

Just stop replying or block her. It really IS that simple.

It's only a drama if you make it one.

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