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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I ignore her without being rude?

87 replies

jess24x8 · 30/08/2019 08:05

I posted a picture of my finished living room on facebook and a lady that added me a few months ago that I used to go to school with(yet never spoke though) now won't stop messaging me. She's asking about whether we rent or whether we bought, how much we pay, where it's located, etc. I've been very quite blunt as I do t tent to ignore people but find it very intimidating as we are just acquaintances and it's really none of her business plus I'm not an open person to start with anyway. She has now proceeded to tell me that I should turn to the council and start claiming benefits like she does instead of paying so much for our house??? I kindly but bluntly responded and said that we are not entitled to anything due to how much we earn. (Instead of being rude and saying that I do not wish to claim benefits as we have more than enough money without them). She is now being pushy and asking me if I work then which I replied with 'yes' and she's now won't leave me alone and is asking where I work, how much I earn, Etc. I DO NOT WANT TO TELL HER THIS INFORMATION. When I don't respond, she double or triple messages me until I do. I don't know what to do. I don't want to block or unfriend her as we have a lot of mutual friends, don't want to be rude but also need to kindly tell her to p*ss off... Confused

OP posts:
Tonnerre · 30/08/2019 10:16

Step no. 1: I'm not going to answer personal questions.
Step no. 2, if she persists: Block
Step no. 3, if she whinges to mutual friends and any of them say anything: She kept asking personal questions even when I asked her not to.

But I suspect mutual friends won't care in the least, as they've probably been subjected to the same conduct.

PoshToryTotty · 30/08/2019 10:23

You can hide all of your posts from her and then just ignore her messages. You have no skin in this game - she's not a friend of yours, you don't have to indulge her.

PapaShango · 30/08/2019 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hammondisback · 30/08/2019 10:28

Facebook is not real life. It doesn’t matter. Block her. Sounds as though she wants to rob your house! BLOCK HER!

Smotheroffive · 30/08/2019 10:30

oh ffs ...you shouldn't be allowed out on your own !... I don't know how you managed to make it in the world until now

If I had someone on fb being this rude, yes, I would definitely block them. Grin

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 30/08/2019 10:31

Just say that's a bit personal isn't it! And then block if she Carrie's in

GiveMeHope103 · 30/08/2019 10:32

Seems like you want the drama.

Any other person would just block her.

LetsSplashMummy · 30/08/2019 10:52

If you want a no drama way if phrasing it, just say you avoid putting these details on line/security etc. What if someone was just pretending to be "old school friend," can't be too careful....

nicenewdusters · 30/08/2019 10:59

Maybe think about why you're posting pictures of the inside of your home onto the internet, and what the definition of a "friend" is.

CaptainCaveMum · 30/08/2019 11:01

Tell her you earn £10 million working for MI6 but if she tells anyone she’ll be arrested

FrancisCrawford · 30/08/2019 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainCaveMum · 30/08/2019 11:06

And tell her you are off on a secret mission but shh don’t tell anyone.....

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 30/08/2019 11:08

I’d you don’t want to block her, just mute her messages and don’t reply......

AFistfulofDolores1 · 30/08/2019 11:11

Why are you worried about having mutual friends? Just block her.

k1233 · 30/08/2019 11:16

I'm quite ruthless with friend requests. If I don't like the person / don't know the person then I refuse. If people are pests, they're gone. I don't have a friends list for the number of friends to prove my popularity. I have a friends list for people I actually like. It's a rather exclusive list Wink

ravenmum · 30/08/2019 11:17

Are these mutual friends as in Facebook mutual friends? Is there any evidence that she really is the person you remember from school, apart from the fact that other people you know have also friended her on Facebook thinking that she is?

Rachelover40 · 30/08/2019 11:27

Block her.

RosaWaiting · 30/08/2019 11:31

OP why do you need to find a way to be nice? Just block her.

and don't add randoms.

Weymo · 30/08/2019 11:53

Where do you work
How much do you earn
Where do you live
Do you rent or own

Sounds like a fake phishing profile. Just delete it.

midsomermurderess · 30/08/2019 11:54

You don't need to be polite to some who is barging, unwanted, into your life.

Cassilis · 30/08/2019 11:58

Stop being a wet lettuce OP. I'm so annoyed by all these non-confrontational people-pleasers on here.

dollydaydream114 · 30/08/2019 12:08

Does she have SEN? I'm asking because there's a lady at my church who does this kind of thing - adds people on facebook whom she's never met but are friend of her friends, and tries desperately to make friends with them. She doesn't have the social skills to realise that frequent personal questions and comments are intrusive and upset people.

It doesn't matter whether the person bothering the OP has SEN or not. Friendships are not a form of community service.

shearwater · 30/08/2019 12:10

Just block her, if you bump into her IRL say that you didn't see the messages.

cinnamonapplex · 30/08/2019 12:12

You can send her messages to other requests if you're not comfortable outright blocking. Stops them coming in your inbox and she won't know you've seen them even if you do read them.

MsFrosty · 30/08/2019 12:16

Dont share any personal info with someone you dont trust. You never know what they'll do with that info
Block and move on

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