Confessions of a Mumsnetter

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I have never ever seen Downton Abbey and don't intend to.

I love it when someone requests cash as a gift.

I like people who make gift lists.

I don't dance, but i like every other form of celebration, including destinations/baby showers and i make a fuss of myself on my Birthday.

I hated working, especially when i worked in finance. My one regret was going back to work when my youngest was 18 months. The one time i did enjoy working was in a scruffy off-licence, it was a laugh.

I had numerous younger fuck buddies, after being Widowed until my sex drive went post Menopause.

I'd love a bigger, wider family and resent my Parents for being so insular. Thanks to them (which mirrors me attitudes on here) I don't know my blood relatives.

I enjoyed running my home as a SAHP and even ran a bath for my DH.

I love holidays, even camping. I love any new adventures.

I wear makeup daily. I fully shave, even though I'm not sexually active. I have tattooed eyebrows and if i had the money, I'd be as botoxed as Amanda Holden.

I wouldn't even be buried in the shapeless, often mud coloured clothing linked on S&B. I don't believe posters wear that stuff, they link it because they think they should be wearing it.

To PPs asking about 'darking' - it's been a while but it was about leaving washing out all night and the only issue with that that a poster could muster was it getting darked on.

I do believe spiders secretly rubbing their willies on your face while you're asleep was another thread 🕷.

Never seen:-
Eastenders
Any 'celebrity' rubbish on TV
Any amateur 'talent' show on TV
Games of Thrones
Any Tolkien, including the books
Star Trek
Star Wars, except in the q at Disneyworld

Can’t remember the last time I washed my bra.

Just did a search and stand corrected. Darked on washing is a perfect playground for spiders and their bits. Apparently.

Thank you to pps for clarifying the darked laundry 😀.

I quite like spiders, we name the big ones. If an especially big one, we take pictures and hope the dcats don't notice them 😁.

I'm late to the party but what is wrong with having two toilet brushes? I have a DH and two sons, a toilet brush is a must although I never use it after I've been.
I don't have my husbands name because I'm too lazy to change it. Even that document you have to send off for a child born out of wedlock whose parents are now married is still stuck on the fridge...14 months later.
Im a vegetarian only when it suits me. Currently on holiday in Spain and through lack of veggie options I'm eating a ton of fish and seafood!

I change the bed sheets once a fortnight sometimes leave it even longer.
I think majority of parents are way too easy on their kids and it’s no wonder some teenagers end up fragile entitled brats (not all - just some)
My DH is very black and white thinking and I love it about him
My kids prefer watching films together than a nice walk or trip to park.
I own a loo brush
I have a cleaner as I hate cleaning
Am a pretty shite cook so my DH does a lot of cooking
School mums really annoy me and seem very two faced
I am very over paid for my job but I don’t care.
I read the sun and daily mail online everyday
I love Christmas
I really enjoy hanging out with my kids in school holidays
Other peoples kids do my head in
I always give ££ to homeless people and don’t tell people
I don’t have facebook
Never cancelled a cheque
I can only make a chicken last one meal!

@CatteStreet would be tricky as we live and work together and spend almost no time apart, but thanks for your input.

Apologies also for not running my posting content by you first. On a thread where SAHMs have been branded lazy if they don't iron, the overweight have been slated and someone has confessed to being a sex worker, I felt that the tone wasn't terribly lighthearted even before I came along.

It's a confessions thread where people admit to actions and beliefs which are not the MN-l standard. Mine is that. I'm not attempting to justify myself, but I believe the old trope of 'once a cheater, always a cheater' doesn't always apply. Often yes, always no.

@PeonyRose80 why would you keep your compassion for the homeless a secret? I mean, I'm not suggesting shouting about it on social media, but it's nothing to hide, surely?

@Smotheroffive your cat pees in the toilet? Awesome!

@Amibeingnaive Sadly when I have mentioned it I have been told to give to charity as homeless just spend ££ on drugs / put on social media you want attention

After just catching up on another thread...

I confess I want to slightly batter people who don't RTFT. Or at least give it quick scan instead of just reading the OP, noticing there 600 other posts but still suggesting something that a small child would work out in a second and has been said eleventy-six times.

Sorry.

Also, I don't really see why Hush clothing is madly superior to some other brands.

@pollysproggle Toilet brushes are not Mumsnet friendly because some people believe vociferously that they harbour germs and fecal matter and are awful things.

I have one. I can't say it's my favourite possession but it fulfills it's purpose.

Where I live everyone feeds their children healthy, nutritious, organic food most of the time. Not me. Most of the time I let DD snack on mini cheddars, brioche and Pom bears in between a bagel/cereal for breakfast, ham and/or cheese sandwich for lunch and cheesy pasta for dinner. Neither the food nor the snacks change. She’s picky and I can’t be bothered to have a battle.

I find it quite strange that so many people on mumsnet, their spouses or children have special needs or mental health issues. I don’t know anyone with the former but I suspect the latter is more hidden.

I didn’t breastfeed as I find it weird despite knowing it’s perfectly natural.

I lied about tokophobia to get an elective c section because I just didn’t fancy vaginal childbirth.

People think I am quite glamorous in real life, in reality I change my sheets every 2 weeks and I shower 3 times a week max.

I love my husband and see us growing old together but if we never have sex again, I wouldn’t care less. Give me a good book any day.

I send my child to an expensive (and currently very high profile) private school to give her an unfair advantage over the other 93%. And I don’t feel guilty.

@LaMarschallin i agree with you. I rarely RTFT if it's more than 200 posts tbh because people are extremely repetitive. But it's not hard to scan for OP updates and the general gist of replies. In most cases, I don't reply to threads with more than 100 posts tbh.

I can't stand "Placemarking" posts. Just BOOKMARK THE THREAD FGS!!!!

Mu 5yr old ds has more sweets and screen time than is deemed ok on Mumsnet

Hate wine and Prosecco/ champagne, only drink vodka
Have not ironed a single thing since 1991
Prefer the company of animals to people
Never answer the front door unless I know who it is
Never answer the phone unless I know who it is, if I get caught out, put on a fake voice and pretend to take a message
Would rather sleep with all 5, yes 5 of my dogs than my partner
I always watch every crappy reality tv programme and what’s more, enjoy it
I voted leave
My Mil is the dragon from hell, a complete witch and I can’t stand her
I have two loo brushes for my 2 loos, but they are black with black bristles (good for disguising poop)
I still use baby wipes (my kids are 17 and 20)
I love using bleach and I love the smell of it
Ditto dettol
Never breastfed, the thought of it made me feel ill and both kids were formula fed SMA
Both kids born via c-section, one emergency, one elective, now both fit healthy and I am very close to both of them, had one of each
my kids accused me of flirting outrageously whenever I go out
(Both kids and DP think I’m mad anyway so I get away with it, having read though my post, think they may have a point)
Talk to random babies in the gp surgery all the time
Went back to full time work when my daughter was six weeks old, I couldn’t wait
There are probably loads more that I can’t think of.....(and which make me look batshit crazy)

I find it quite strange that so many people on mumsnet, their spouses or children have special needs or mental health issues. I don’t know anyone with the former but I suspect the latter is more hidden

Lack of RL support from professionals, family, friends, and the community as a whole means that parents of children with additional needs tend to congregate online to fulfil that need for solidarity and support. The same is true for people affected by mental illness.

Never answer the phone unless I know who it is, if I get caught out, put on a fake voice and pretend to take a message

I'm picturing the scene from Despicable Me when Gru is pretending he's a recorded message when the girls come selling cookies 😂

@JacquettaW this is me to a tee!

@Zakana The remedy to that is to actually get an answer phone. All my calls go there and I only ever really ring back if it's my mum. I also never answer my door unless I'm expecting a delivery, my mum has her own key

I don't have children
I consider my dogs my babies

I've been on here for donkey's years (I switch my name every few weeks) and until last week, I thought RTFT meant, read the fucking thread.

And why not? 😂

Ooh I like this!

I really like it when couples ask for money at their wedding because I can give them something they genuinely want
I don't have a problem with gift lists but I find it weird that people think asking for money is more grabby than the couple specifying that they only want a particular cutlery set at that particular price.

I enjoy having my nails done, often in a range of eye catching colours and sometimes even with glitter.

Hen dos, parties and weddings are almost always extremely fun and I am always flattered people have invited me and DP, so unless there's a very good reason why not I will always take up the invitation.

I absolutely adore DP's family as if they were my own.

I love a Pot Noodle from time to time.