To not want other children playing with DDs special Teddy

[FabLaura]

So today we went to a disco held in a local community centre during the day. My daughter (9 months) and I were dancing with her special teddy and one family (Mum, Dad, daughter & son) all came over and asked if son could play with Teddy. I was taken back but before I could think of a polite way to say no; it's her special ted, the mum took ted and said 'that's nice sharing'. I wanted to go WTF! But just smiled, argh! He played with ted while my poor daughter watched on with me saying to the boy, 'one last time' about a million times before we could escape. Is this normal??? Of course, special ted won't come out again but am I the old one or are they?

Sorry not old 🙄 I meant odd

You should have taken it back

I feel there may be trouble ahead.

She’s the odd one and very unreasonable to take it out of your dd’s hand, but yes, it’s easier to not take your own toys (especially precious ones) to public events because it always causes issues.

How rude of the woman to say 'that's nice sharing'! I mean, your daughter didn't seem to have a choice in the matter! The woman was cheeky.

I’m sorry but why did you allow it? So bizarre. I have to keep telling my children to say NO to any child that asks to play with their things at the park. You need to learn to be more assertive.

The whole family came over to ask?! That's hilarious.

I think you would be well within your rights to say no it's a special teddy. Great that you have already decided to leave it at home from now on . There's a limit to sharing!

They are the odd one. She is 9 months she doesn't need to share her special teddy. When she gets older I had a rule that if you take it with u u have to share it. If u want to keep it special for just you leave it in the car. My dd has a doll she loves but if she takes her into toddlers her friends naturally want a shot and she doesn't want to let them with this one particular doll. So it just causes stress for all. So I have said if u dont want to share the doll dont bring her bring something else u are happy to share. But at 9 months the other child could have been told no it belongs to the baby. Harder when they are all older and the same age.

I can’t believe you let some random family take your baby’s teddy! 😮

They are definitely the odd ones.

Its not you, its them. CFs.

Obviously at nursery etc children should be taught to share but not with special toys and things like that. The other parents were CF, would they have let you ‘have a turn’ of their iPhone because it’s ‘nice To share’?

What is everyones issue on here with just saying no.

Just say bloody no and take the teddy back! You gotta have some bollocks in this world or youll get walked ocer

Weird of the family to take a baby’s teddy without permission but your 8 month old won’t have a clue what’s going on so not a huge deal on the face of it.

Why on earth did you let her take it?

I find this expectation on children to share things that are important to them rather odd. Nobody would expect the same of an adult.

Just say no and take it back they can like it or lump it

I wanted to go WTF! But just smiled, argh!

Yes, why exactly did you do that? This warrants exploration, I think. Were they wearing knuckledusters?

That’s not sharing at all, sharing comes with consent and some things are not to be shared- for example the comfort Teddy.

There’s definitely times as a parent you have to just say things regardless of how impolite. It’s not exactly polite to take a teddy off a baby is it?

Had the disco people put toys out for the children to play with and the family though the special bear was one of the communal toys? Only explanation I can think of! Weird!

‘No, sorry, she’s just a baby and that’s her special teddy’ would have a suitable answer.

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts. I think I just went along with it cause I'm still new to this parenting lark and totally wasn't expecting that. I should of said no and would do so now if anything like that happens again. I feel I didn't cause it's not the 'done' thing. Funnily enough, I did think on the way home 'as adults I don't expect my friends to share something's with me, so why do we expect children too'???

A 9 month old shouldn’t have to be without their comfort teddy to appease a child that should be able to withstand the word no.

It’s not really the done thing to snatch a toy off a baby tbh, saying ‘oh you’re sharing’ doesn’t make it any better really does it? To a 9 month old she may as well have been speaking french.

If it's anything like our local community centre where they have a playgroup and a nursery as well as various baby classes, they probably presuming the bear belonged to the community centre or even to the disco company if they had put props and things out. Not all that weird for them to ask to have a turn if they did think this but they definitely shouldn't have taken it and you definitely should have said something.

Did she know it was your dd’s, not a toy that belonged to the group?

Sharing is only something kids need to do for communal toys e.g. at nursery or school etc or when they have a friend over to play. This whole notion of them having to share their personal items if they don’t wish to is balls!

The disco lady hadn't put any toys out; it was clearly ours