To be thinking of rehoming our cat?

[Mozfan]

My DS is 10 and a half months old.
He’s obsessed with our cat and when she’s in the room he gets so excited. He is always grabbing at her and patting her head really hard. He’s occasionally grabbed her and pulled out lots of fur.
We keep telling him no and separating them, but now he’s crawling and cruising the furniture he’s off again as soon as our backs are turned.
This evening he was crawling around crashing her in the living room giggling as she ran away from his advances each time.
She got herself behind the baby gate and hissed at him and showed her claws.

I’m really worried that he’s going to push it too far and she’ll bite or scratch him. I’m especially concerned in case she scratches his face and particularly eyes of course. She’s also an outdoor cat who hunts so she’ll have bacteria in her claws.

Does anyone have any ideas apart from rehoming her?

Apart from saying no and removing him from her, DS obviously doesn’t understand properly yet.

The username above me ^ feels very appropriate!

Incidentally I don't see what a playpen achieves if the cat isn't running away from the child - one of ours doesn't, and he'd happily get in a playpen with him (I know because we don't have a playpen but he does try and get into DS's cot with him and has to be removed!) - he is particularly daft, and also particularly keen on humans (he was a hand reared kitten, which apparently quite commonly does that) but he can't be unique? Our other cat has regarded DS with deep suspicion since birth and so avoids him, which is much easier to manage.

@Tobythecat agree 100%

My cars always taught my children the meaning of the word no. Once bitten (scratched) term very shy is very true. Rehoming is a ridiculous and cruel thing to consider.

DS is still a pain with our cat at 4yo. He's very impulsive and although watched carefully, he can still be rough with her.

We used stair gates, shutting doors and encouraging the cat into the garden.

I also considered rehoming our cat but due to her being so elderly, she was unlikely to have another home. It wasn't really fair to her as she was old and wanted peace and quiet, what she got was an annoying 4yo some of the time. However, I felt our home still offered more than a rescue centre.

You're so concerned about your son being injured (scratched) but not about your poor cat being injured (smacked in the head, fur pulled out in chunks)?

As others have said above, getting a scratch might actually teach your son some much needed caution! Or, just keep a proper eye on your son.

If you don’t want to re-home your son (who is the one causing the problems, rather than your poor cat), you will need to keep them separated and not in the same room together. Toddler gates may be the way to go.

My elder son was scratched by one of our cats when he was a baby and soon learned not to “pat” him too hard! They have been the best of friends and very sweet together for the last ten years (and counting).

Meh, this will pass. He'll soon understand gentle hands, and consequences. Sounds like you're doing fine. Cat tree is great, cat has places to go away from your DS, great. As a pp said you could get cat shelves too. Maybe have a look at some Jackson Galaxy if you're really wanting to learn about 'catification' of homes, it's fascinating, obviously you won't need to go all out. Agree about getting DS to play with toys with her when he's a little older.
It's not a catastrophe if he does get a scratch - natural consequence, he'll learn not to be so rough. Yes cat claws are a haven for bacteria, so clean well, keep an eye and get medical attention if you're worried. Worst case scenario, he would need antibiotics. I agree, it's not the same as a dog. I'm willing to bet no-one here has heard of a cat killing or permanently disfiguring a child.

Mumsnet is nuts sometimes. OP your son is 1000 times more important than a cat! If they can't coexist peacefully (which is the best solution) then the cat obviously is the one that has to go.

@KylieKoKo if the OP has another child and they don’t get on, which child is more important to keep?

Or is it just normal to make the effort to ensure relationships run smoothly, with adult supervision? And not ship family members off to rehoming centres at the first sign of some effort being required?

OP do not worry, I was your son in a multi outdoor/indoor cat house. One cat did not appreciate my tail pulling dressing up games and used to bite and scratched me,I learned very very quickly not to be so rough she also used to bite me if I screamed for no reason, one look from that cat could stop the most vile tantrum from me lol, and mum used to just put TCP on the wounds. Me and the cat actually became best friends once I learned manners. Your son is very little and will learn to be gentle soon. Keep trying to intervene and try not to panic too much if he gets a little scratch.

We have two cats, by the time DS was scratched once or twice he got the idea.

Now, they both sit by his bed at bedtime waiting to go to sleep with him

Also keep your cats claws nice and short whilst your baby is going through this stage so if he does get scratched, it won't do much damage.

We trim our cats claws every couple of weeks- just to take the really sharp tip off - if you aren't sure how to ask your vet to show you. Bit daunting the first time but pretty simple once you get the hang of it. Ours is a 2 person job though haha- one to calm and distract and the other to do the triming. We just use a pair of sharp toe nail clippers although I think you can get proper cat ones.

@derbee that's the kind of bonkers statement I was talking about. Cats and children arent comparable.

Obviously the ideal solution is that they learn to live together, and a couple of scratches won't do the baby any longterm harm and might teach him to respect the cat. But if it's one or the other then the child comes first. What kind of parent gives equal weight to their child and a cat? Come on , I'm sure (I hope) you know your children are more important than cats.

Mumsnet is nuts sometimes. OP your son is 1000 times more important than a cat! If they can't coexist peacefully (which is the best solution) then the cat obviously is the one that has to go. Of course a child is more important than a cat, however, babies/toddlers and cats can't coexist peacefully unless they are kept apart.

Babies and young toddlers don't understand how to be gentle and cats don't understand why this small, strange smelling little thing is hurting them. It's the responsibility of the adult to deal with the situation, not just get rid of the cat. No gentle hands, no stroking, just no touching the cat until the child gets older and can understand that they're hurting the cat. It's really not difficult unless you have a really aggressive cat who is going out of their way to attack the child. Then of course you have to rehome the cat.

@KylieKoKo my response to your silly message was not that children and cats are equal. My point is that you don’t simply get rid of someone/something just because the relationship requires a bit of managing in the short term. You wouldn’t have a baby and get rid of your toddler because they were jealous.

You make a commitment to an animal when you get a pet. It’s lazy and cruel to wash your hands of it just because you have a baby.

You don't have to give the cat away just separate. It's what most people do when they have a cat and a toddler.