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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP has mortgage with ex

95 replies

Mortgageproblems101 · 28/08/2019 22:45

NC for this as I don't know if she is on here

DP was in a relationship 3 years ago, and he was buying a house with his ex (it was already her house but she needed to remortgage for some reason and her salary wasn't enough to cover the mortgage so he Co signed for it) when he found out she was having an affair. They were days from completion and she stood to lose a lot of money so he completed the purchase and never moved in. We got together not long after.

They had a fixed term for 5 years and a 25 year mortgage. We now want to buy somewhere together, but can't as he is tied to this mortgage with her. He's contacted her and she says she can't afford to buy him out and so can't do anything. So he's tied to a 25 year mortgage that she can't afford (in the eyes of the bank, although he's never paid a penny towards it, she pays it all herself) with no plan to get out of it.

He'd never owned a house before and stupidly didn't realise that he is now screwed for 25 years, he thought after 5 years he could just get off of it. Idiot.

He didn't realise it was a problem until now. He has also signed a letter to her saying that he has no interest in anything financially for the house. I think, wtf?! What if she stops paying the mortgage? He's screwed and so am I.

She's now playing a sob story, I've told him he needs to seek legal advice, and if she can't afford a mortgage on that house she should bloody well sell it.

Anyone have any idea how we can we resolve this?

Also I'm so pissed off AIBU to insist that he forces her to sell it and buy a smaller place that she can actually afford, which is what I had to do when I split up with my ExDH. Not that he wants a penny of the house, he just wants to be free so we can move forward. For sake of clarity she has no children.

OP posts:

SandyY2K · 29/08/2019 14:50

You own 2 other properties...so o would just leave your DP to never own a house. It doesn't affect your ability to get a mortgage as you have assets.

I can understand he wanted to help her when they were together...but after she cheated! That's crazy.

Other pp are giving examples...but children are involved or the couple were together when they signed up.

Then he signs away any financial interest in the property in writing ...yeah...she definitely saw him coming a mile off. If I was her and I cheated, I would have assumed the deal was off, but she knew he was not that bright and would do it anyway.

He could have walked away and never had to see her again.

Some ppl are easy to use because they lack understanding of things like this.

Winterlife · 29/08/2019 16:19

No one is suggesting he can just write a letter. But it’s a first step of notice.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 29/08/2019 16:28

I’m confused:
What happened when her fixed term ended? My mortgage rate shot up after fixed term ended. She would have to renew or she is paying much more than she needs.

SandyY2K · 29/08/2019 17:19

I don't think the 5 years fixed term has ended yet. Even if it has, the Ex is staying put would probably end up paying a higher rate, because she can't get another mortgage with the financial information she evidences.

It just sounds like she used him to get the mortgage, but wasn't really interested in him otherwise. It sounds very calculated on the part of the Ex, but he fell for it.

Original poster

Mortgageproblems101 · 29/08/2019 23:39

The fixed term doesn't end for 2 years. I forsee massive problems when it does. She probably can't afford it at all. He's contacted the lender to get stuff sent to him etc. The mortgage isn't a massive amount. Only £500 a month, about £100k in total apparently, although he's checking.

@SandyY2K 100% she used him. He allowed it to happen, but emotions sometimes cloud judgement I suppose.

OP posts:

Anspur · 30/08/2019 17:13

Hello, somehow this thread came up on my Google News App. I am a broker and a wills and trust consult.

Solicitors often provide the scariest outcome possible but technically you'll be able to buy together in line with your own deposit, affordability and credit history, for new home.

You can do some cleaver things with splitting the type of ownerships* and property trusts, ideally on both properties but not sure what he signed.

Speak to a broker before a solicitor just so you know that you can do first.

*Joint owners Vs 50/50 owners

Good luck.

sander85 · 30/03/2021 14:17

Hi @Mortgageproblems101 how did you get on in the end? Were you able to buy a house?

@Anspur would you be able to give any further information please? Thank you.

Coop80 · 30/03/2021 14:24

Zombie thread!

2bazookas · 30/03/2021 14:54

If it was her property before hand, then DH is not named as joint owner on the title deeds/landregistry.He didn't contribute to the deposit and you say has never contributed to the mortgage payments, and never moved in so has never shared costs with her.

IOW he owns no equity in the house and she doesn't need to buy him out.

All they need to do, is talk to the mortgage lender and get the joint mortgage put into her name only. She can prove she's capable of making the payments so the lender has no grounds to object. The mortgage lender will no doubt charge an admin fee , which DH and Ex should split as they both benefit

     It's so totally simple and straight forward   I cannot imagine why DH   is making a mountain out of  a molehill.  Unless he's lied to you about the true state of  affairs and is using it as an excuse ,  because he doesn't want to buy a place with you.

He can;t force her to sell her house because it belongs to her not him. He has no financial leverage to exert over her because he has never paid the bills and mortgage.

2bazookas · 30/03/2021 14:58

@Mortgageproblems101

@SandyY2K 100% she used him. He allowed it to happen, but emotions sometimes cloud judgement I suppose.

How could she "not afford it" at the end of the fixed term? She has been paying the entire mortgage herself right from the start, for the last three years. According to you, DH has never paid a penny.

2bazookas · 30/03/2021 15:01

@Coop80

Zombie thread!

So it is, duh

Christmasfairy2020 · 30/03/2021 15:57

Just get a solicitor and takes his name of deeds

Collaborate · 30/03/2021 16:18

Assuming there are no children in their relationship he can easily get an order for sale from the court. If there's equity he might even get something out of it.

It's a Trust of Land Act application. I do them quite often (I'm a family solicitor). They're pretty standard.

LoudestCat14 · 30/03/2021 16:20

Presumably she'll need to address the situation in two years anyway, when she needs to remortgage for a new deal and your DP won't be available as a co-applicant. So she either sorts it now or she has to do it then and she's screwed either way. Does she not get that?

LoudestCat14 · 30/03/2021 16:21

Bugger, total zombie thread! It's from 2019!

Alsohuman · 30/03/2021 16:29

@Mortgageproblems101

Those who are voting that I Abu, can you explain why? I honestly don't understand. If you can't afford something then you don't get to keep it surely?

But she can afford it. In your OP you said although he's never paid a penny towards it, she pays it all herself.

There’s nothing for her to buy him out of, she can ask the mortgage company to remove his name surely, now she’s established a record of regular repayment.

Alsohuman · 30/03/2021 16:29

@LoudestCat14

Bugger, total zombie thread! It's from 2019!

Oh shit. I hate these.

user1471538283 · 30/03/2021 17:14

This does sound odd. If she can afford the repayments she can afford the mortgage. Maybe there are other loans now tied with the house?

It doesn't make sense she would want him on the mortgage. Surely he could make a claim?

I wouldn't get a mortgage with him

Jillybons · 30/03/2021 17:52

Are you 100% sure he doesn’t own any equity in the house value?

Before he gets taken off the mortgage this would be worth checking. If he co-owns the property he could be entitled to 50% of the equity..speak to a lawyer

Pepperminttea16 · 30/03/2021 18:28

Are they joint owners or was it a joint mortgage sole proprietor situation? I think the answer will affect your options.

Assuming he is on the deeds to the house he needs to force a sale. Talk to a solicitor.

The fact that he has moved out may also affect what he is owed from the sake of the property depending on whether they were joint tenants or tenants in common.

If it was joint mortgage sole proprietor I don’t think he will be entitled to anything.

As an aside, I do find it baffling why people leave relationships with shared financial assets and don’t sort them out at the time. Like the lady the other day whose partner bought a house with a friend 15 years ago and just left it like it was NBD?

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