People with experience living abroad

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Whether British in another country, or from another country living in the UK....

Do you/did you ever get homesick? What for? Have you considered moving back to the UK? If you moved back to the UK, do you regret it at all?

I'm asking because I feel unsure what to do with Brexit looming. I really miss the UK and want to come back. On the other hand I'm worried that doing so will remove any chance of residency permits/nationality I could potentially get here (EU) - and what if I'm just romanticising the UK? Would like to read your thoughts, whatever your perspective. The going back and forth in my head is really grinding me down. My heart tells me to go home but my head is telling me I could regret it.

I'm British, in NZ. Came for 2 yrs in 2014. Brexit happened and I dont want to go back. 2 of my 4 boys have been born here and we have a great life here. Just about to get citizenship. Homesickness comes and goes. It generally goes after a visit "home". We are here for the duration now.

I’m from Eastern Europe (non-EU), spent 10 years in Britain having been relocated to UK by my work from the US (US educated). My work was always related to my home region and I was hired for my int’l experience/ language skills, so not competing with Brits in any way. In 10 years our only handful British friends were those of my DH who’s a Brit. I have not made a single British friend in 10 years and not due to lack of trying. My British born DD was never invited to a single play date until in reception year I made friends with few European moms. We lived in a very English suburb and everyone knew my daughter as she attended local nursery / sports clubs (and was a very polite, open and cute child with a typical blue eye/blond hair English kid look) but again - everyone was polite but even to start a small chat at the local playground or gymnastics while waiting for her required such an effort on my part. I found people very closed in cliques, polite but cold and unfriendly (because of my accent?) I was a higher rate taxpayer, prevented my DH twice from going on a dole when he lost jobs and sent my DD to a local independent school as she has ADHD and needs extra attention. At some point it started to feel like an endless rat race, like we were living just to pay the bills. And it’s not like good jobs come without their share of stress. I felt I was contributing to the system a lot and not getting much back, and not seeing my child enough, nor myself or my Child being accepted by the locals. At some point the life in the UK just started to feel pointless and joyless. I could not see a point of us continuing like that. So 8 months ago I took a posting in Asia, doubled my package. My DH is now SAHD, my DD very happy in her international British school here, spending most in the time outdoors in a lovely warm weather. We have more time, more money and more social engagements than we can possibly attend. Ironically, two of my best friends here are Brits even though I also get along very well with colleagues from my region. My job is now so much more interesting and my DH finally is opportunity to change his career, which wanted to do for so long at home but could not afford and opportunities were less available. So no, we are not homesick, not looking back and don’t see ourselves ever coming back

I do miss the seemingly straightforward way things are done via e-commerce or other online portals in the UK. I'm in the ME and cash is still king here and things like shopping etc is not really done online, so you have to make a journey, dodge prayer times and hope that cheddar cheese you like is back on the shelf!

But seriously, the healthcare here is excellent and we're lucky we can get seen immediately. I was reading a thread on here about a poor woman who was on day 5 with a UTI unable to get through to a Dr who would see her .

I think homesickness is natural as you adjust to a new way of living.

I've been in sydney for more than ten years now, I came here with my now exh travelling and we never left.
We returned to England on the spur of the moment weeks after our DS was born and stayed around 10 months. I had a fantastic time.
We were in the process of buying a house when I started to panic about work life balance, the thought of commuting to London and using childcare for such long days was a terrible thought. I was also tired of the constant rain. We pulled out of the house and moved back and I've never felt homesick again. It's been six years since we moved back.
I live 5 km from the CBD and a 1km walk to the beach, we go to the beach after school and on weekends.
Downside is property prices are super high so we can't afford to buy a house (after the divorce) but I have an investment property and a secure rental, and since the weathers so good we don't spend heaps of time indoors. There's also a strong community here.

It really depends of what you value most in terms of quality of life, we have a very high standard of living in an affluent area but owning my home isn't a huge dealbreaker for me, though I think I'm in the minority.

I have lived abroad for almost 25 years and still get homesick. I think it's a lot to do with your personality. I am fluent in the language but will never be fluent in the culture and people will know that I am a foreigner until the day I die! This is something you have to be prepared to accept.

the things that stand out are stupid things - marmite, salt and vinegar crisps, tv. Now I’m back in the UK, I miss things from the other countries I’ve lived in - proper mayonnaise, baseball, café culture, l’apero.....

British, moved to NZ ten years ago. I did go through a spell of homesickness on and off, but that’s settled. Now it’s just major family events that I can’t always be there for (like serious illnesses or funerals of extended family) that suddenly makes me realise how bloody far away I am. I miss my family every day, but the UK, not at all.

My boys have lived in NZ longer than they lived in England and here is home to them now. They’re even used to hot summer Christmases, which still throws me.

Londoner in NZ for two decades. On my last trip back a few years ago, post-Brexit, I realised how much the UK had moved on without me. London seemed bigger, glitzier and more cosmopolitan and Brexit didn't seem to be a major problem at all. I felt quite the colonial bumpkin.

I would happily move back but my family are well settled here.

@T0getherindreams: interesting comment. 'Bloke' activities etc are seen much more positively here than in the UK and men seem happier.... but there is still a bugger of a male suicide rate.

I am fluent in the language but will never be fluent in the culture
Leapyearlover I think that perfectly sums up where a lot of struggles stem from.

@Ladyaramis98, your experience of the U.K. is the. Same as mine:(

Being the stranger gets really old in the end.

However... We moved back and while it was the right thing to do, i regret it.

I've been in Norway for a 12.5 years now. I used to get a little homesick off and on but I haven't felt it in many years. I don't miss the UK at all. I miss PEOPLE in the UK, I miss certain foods from the UK and I miss certain conveniences like Tesco, but not the UK itself.

I've never considered moving back. I especially won't move back in the current political climate. I'm much better off here in terms of rights and support.

laughs in spanish

Laughing in Spanish is agreeing lots in German...

Jajajajajajaja....

I'm a SAHD now and quit my job in England last year and we all moved to Malaysia, it's definitely not easy and of course you will miss a lot of things, but then surely there are things you would miss about your home now if you went back.

Whatever decision you make will be the one you have to stick with, don't look back and wonder what might have been. If your heart says go back to the UK, do it. Deal with any problems as and when they arise

Lifes too short, we could all die tomorrow.

Lived and worked abroad through most of my twenties- now in 50s. Including living through an armed coup and food rationing.
You still need to pay your bills, get bust pipes fixed etc. My dh who has never lived or worked abroad suggested we should leave the UK. I'll say to you what I say to him: unless you actually need to flee and become a refugee, you should stay where you know and tough it out. Go to another country and you will be a stranger trying to live your life without any real connection to where you live. And just look how many people from other countries are made to feel here.
My mum was an economic migrant to this country. My dad's parents were fleeing for their safety from another country. It's not something to do lightly. The UK is my home.
I will not be chased out of the UK just because it's a bloody horrible situation right now.
That said, me, dh and now dd all have Irish citizenship. Running away to be a burden on another country and to put ourselves through that terrible stress is Plan Z.

I lived abroad as a teenager and moved back after 7 years, for me it was the best decision but I do miss the lifestyle! It was family I missed and I had more opportunities over here for college/jobs

I get homesick but I also get scared that I actually wouldn't even know how to live in the UK any more.

romanticising the UK?

I've lived in 4 other countries. Believe me, there is nothing romantic about the UK. I came back here 5 years ago and I am planning my exit once DC are older. I won't stay here. I live in one of the most affluent places in the country and there are still no services. Can't get a doc appointment, no school places, more houses being built whilst services are reduced and the tax is a killer. It's not just income tax, it is the extras on top of this.

I have lived in other countries including 2 other EU ones and the quality of live is so much better. The quality of life Brits have is shocking compared to how much money they earn and how much tax they pay and get back in services.

I'm saving every penny so I can get the hell out of here.

20 years overseas. Have loved it and it's been home for us. But as retirement looms, and despite having the world as our oyster, I want to go back to England. And I'm amazed I feel like that as I've had no yearning ever before.
I could possibly be deluded and imagining life through rose tinted glasses, in fact I probably am, but the pull of my roots is strong.
Who knows how it'll work out but that's the great thing about our world today as we have options and can travel just about anywhere.

I have lived in France for the past 2 and a half years because of my DH's work. The weather is better than the UK, and where we live the lifestyle is very outdoors and sporty, so it's a nice environment to live. The people are friendly and helpful, mostly, and there is also quite a big international community. There is excellent public transport and usually we cycle to work. I think the healthcare is more efficient than UK. The worst things - learning the language, dealing with the administrative procedures here (even basic things need you to have copies of passport/birth certificate/contract/etc), miss some British style food, cost of living is more expensive. I haven't really been homesick but expecting our first baby atm and I feel sad that my family (especially my mum) are missing out on all of that experience. But on the other hand, the maternity care here is excellent.
We aren't sure how long we will stay here but because of the work my DH does I think it will be difficult for him to find a position in the UK after Brexit. So although we originally came here short term, the reality is that we will probably stay or move to another European country after his contract finishes. Not sure how I feel about the permanent move, but just taking it as it comes for now.

15 years abroad - Bahrain, Mexico and now Turkey.

I love living abroad but as I get older I am definitely missing my close friends and family around me. Not enough to go back though I must admit.

Also miss having so much choice in the supermarket! And shopping for clothes and shoes. (But that's very shallow - I know)

Spent a few years in East Asia and moved back home tp have my son, born on the day of the Brexit vote. I mainly missed friends and family, and the ease of interpersonal relationships/not feeling like a novelty - even when I was reasonably proficient in the language(s) I was always the foreigb friend or partner rather than just a friend. This entailed massive humility pn my part tgouvh as it really opened my eyes to -as people upthread have said - how standoffish and cliquey Brits can be.

Now I'm back, it's bittersweet. We live in Scotland and there's so much our whole family love here: Near to friwnds and family, progressive, great healthcare, beautiful scenery, lack of pollution...however we are at the mercy of draconian spousal visa laws and DH feels scared to go out at night alone because of increased racism. Even though we own property here, son is settled in nursery etc DH could be deported next year at his visa review so there's this constant unsettled feeling. I've also been made aware of how naive what I thought my country was in light of recent events - I'm ashamed at the racism towards DHa d DS as a mixed race child.

30 years in the USA. I would never move back. I will always consider myself Scottish but want to remember the place how it was. It is certainly not the country I left behind.
I miss the sense of humor most, I have never gotten used to American humor, its not funny generally. I also miss the chocolate.
The USA is not a bad place to raise a family, there is so much opportunity here, not everyone is a gun toating lunatic. Ive lived through quite a few presidents since Ive been here , for most people nothing changes no matter who is running the country.

"I'm ashamed at the racism towards DHa d DS as a mixed race child."

How much racism do they get? This is what scares me most about moving back to the UK.

There a things I miss, certain British ways of doing things, certain foods, certain places. But I would now never want to go back. I think it makes a very big difference to how you settle in if you learn the language and have local friends and community involvement (i.e. don't stay in the expat bubble).
Going back after a long period abroad you may find you don't fit in any more anyway. I've had that happen to friends. Some stuck it out and some came back.
The whole Brexit debacle has brought out the worst in the UK and I now really struggle to identify with the place at all. I am hurt, horrified and embarassed. It's tragic.