Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Anyone awake? Dad has cancer

62 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 27/08/2019 04:51

I'm 27, dad is 58. Last night he was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

I'm travelling home at 7am in the morning, am pregnant, super stressed and I just dont know what to do!

Anything funny happened, any stories to tell? 2 hours to go until my first bus, then 3 trains, before a taxi. He has an operation booked at 10:30am, I wont get there before he goes in.

OP posts:

barryfromclareisfit · 27/08/2019 04:57

No stories but just letting you know someone is here. Best wishes to you and your dad.

CheesecakeAddict · 27/08/2019 05:00

I'm so sorry for the news. How long will the surgery take? Are they attempting to take a tumour out or is it just explorative? Best of luck to your dad

Original poster

Lovethetimeyouhave · 27/08/2019 05:02

They're attempting to take it out, 3 hour operation, then we will know more stage, prognosis

OP posts:

snitzelvoncrumb · 27/08/2019 05:02

Just breathe, it will be ok. Can you put a movie on? Something mindless?
Last night my daughter drew all over her brothers with blue texter and pink hair chalk. It took a while to scrub them in the bath.

Original poster

Lovethetimeyouhave · 27/08/2019 05:04

@snitzel haha I love kids, that must have been a sight! Ds took the opportunity while I was receiving news to make mud bombs and throw them in the pool 🙈

OP posts:

Newmumma83 · 27/08/2019 05:06

For the pregnancy congratulations, for your dad... I am so sorry 😐 it’s so amazing what they can do.

My grandad had cancer of the kidney at about your dads age ... he was back digging his garden after his operation about 10 days after

He got cancer again at 67 of prostate .. found it annoying that he needed a nap after chemo

Brian tumour none cancerous found early 80’s ... lived with it ... died at age 87 due to pneumonia... lived to a good age .... crazy Yorkshireman never let anything stop
Him ( not funny but cancer doesn’t mean immediate death or even that it gets to kill you )

Funny stories .... ( maybe )

I have a habit of saying the wrong thing or wording things wording things incorrectly ... and getting very excited about holidays I was selling ( ex travel agent )

After lots of searching I found the most exciting holiday in Barbados that fit my customers description and they had it a fantastic price ... I sprung up from my seat big grin on my face .... declares wait one moment I have the perfect little virgin for you .... and ran to the back office

I wonder how relieved they felt when I came running back with a virgin holiday book rather than what it may have sounded like what I was coming back with 😀

Newmumma83 · 27/08/2019 05:07

I am typing to you while my 9 month old chews my toe 🤪

Original poster

Lovethetimeyouhave · 27/08/2019 05:09

Oh @newmums I would have died from embarrassment! Did they take the virgin tho?

It's good to hear of your grandfather, I hope my dad is the same, I hope he bounces back from this.

OP posts:

Pol16 · 27/08/2019 05:10

Sorry to hear about your dad and hope everything works out for him. My daughter is 27 and I know she would be very upset if anything like this was happening to her. At least you’ll be there when he comes round from his operation. Try to be calm although I know it’s difficult ;think of your health and that of your baby.

OneStepSideways · 27/08/2019 05:22

Thinking of you OP. Hope your dad's surgery goes well!

Yesterday I went to work with a peppa pig sticker stuck to my bottom. Around noon a kindly patient leaned out of bed and peeled it off, I was mortified! I can't believe nobody told me, I was wearing a black skirt and walking around all morning so they must have noticed. Maybe they thought it was a hole 😳

Paperyfish · 27/08/2019 05:26

Hi- i’m Up as am taking my mum in to hospital for her kidney cancer op. Needs to be in for 7am. My dad had bowel cancer at 58/9 and made a full recovery after some surgery and treatment. He had 5 years clear. He’s passed now- but that was something unrelated. I hope your dad has a good outcome to- it’s a very treatable cancer these days. X

aLilNonnyMouse · 27/08/2019 05:33

First of all, don't panic. My 56 year old partner was diagnosed last November with bowl cancer. It had just started to spread through the bowel wall and there were cells found in lymph nodes. Stage 3.

He had an operation the week before Christmas and recovered quickly despite his pre-existing lung condition causing minor complications. February the chemo started, 4 rounds.

It was a rough few months but he's ok now. Still needs a checkup on a regular basis for the next 5 years but it's gone for now.

I hope the operation goes smoothly, and while the next few months are going to be rough, don't assume the worst.

Toomboom · 27/08/2019 05:50

I am sorry that your dad is going through this. My sister was diagnosed with bowel cancer around 3 years ago. She was operated on and had a temporary stoma for 6 months. Three years on she is doing okay, no signs of cancer, has regular check ups and is fine.
Good luck with everything

Newmumma83 · 27/08/2019 06:00

Of course they took the virgin! It was an excellent deal 🤪🤪

catnidge · 27/08/2019 06:08

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Can see you are ready to set off soon. Hope the journey goes well.
I don't know much about bowel cancer as my dad had prostate cancer.
It's lovely that you will be there after your dad's op. Wishing you both well.

sittingonacornflake · 27/08/2019 06:08

Sorry to hear about what you're going through OP. I type this whilst my 18 month old very seriously and repeatedly blows raspberries on my tummy. He's very busy. I'd quite like to get up and make some tea but I don't want to disturb his work!

Scottishgirl85 · 27/08/2019 06:10

BellyButton85 · 27/08/2019 06:15

God bless you and dad. I just wanted to leave a reply to you telling you that as much as you clearly adore your dad, your baby is also priority. My beautiful dad passed suddenly when I was 8 months pregnant and I had to put my baby first. No hysterics, no over stress...the thought of my darling little boy got me through the worst time of my life and much less horrendously knowing I couldn't be too sad/worried/stressed/hysterical although all I wanted to do was die. Your dad will be okay and so will you and your beautiful baby. I just wanted to remind you that your baby feels what you do and in remembering to stay calm in all situations will help yourself, your wonderful dad and your family too. Prayers and love to you all x

BellyButton85 · 27/08/2019 06:17

my beautiful dad was only 49. Life is cruel and seems so much worse the younger they are. Just be there and stay strong op x

BellyButton85 · 27/08/2019 06:19

Omg I just realised how my first reply sounded. I'm sure your dad is going to be absolutely fine. I was just giving you my story to remind you to think of your baby and that will help you through

lightlypoached · 27/08/2019 06:34

Hey. My mum has just come through the other side. It's stressful. Every case is different but she had a bowel tumour removed, along with lymph nodes. Turns out they got it all, and she had the all clear just 3 months after diagnosis. She was lucky. My SIL has the same.

My guidance to you would be to stay calm, ask questions and be a bit patient. It seems to take forever between scans and results, but trust the medics as they deal with this all the time. Macmillan also very helpful. Also write everything down as it's very hard to remember what was said in the fug of emotion and multiple appointments.

I wish you all the best. X

MrsMozartMkII · 27/08/2019 07:16

A hug and a handhold from me too.

Funny story - was clearing the small attic and a something fell and bashed me on the forehead. A bit of a bleeding cut. Grabbed the first big plaster I could find and thought no more about it. Walking to work (in London) and wondered why so many people were smiling at me. It wasn't 'till a little girl looked and shouted "Barbie!" that it twigged - I was merrily walking along with a huge Barbie plaster stuck on the middle of my forehead

I asked DH why he'd not said anything. He looked confused, as though it was the norm to see his wife in a corporate type suit with Barbie accessories . In my defence for not noticing when getting ready, I don't do mornings. The fact that I was up and dressed and in the right place was a small miracle.

Fruitbatdancer · 27/08/2019 07:19

The very fact they are attempting to operate is very very good news, they wouldn’t do that if they didn’t think they could get it out! Which is all good! Assume he had an abstruction and that’s how they found it? Thinking of you!

Binkyboo16 · 27/08/2019 07:25

My mom was diagnosed in March the same age as your dad. My only living parent, so extremely stressful all round, she had the operation and has just had the all clear for now. Her doctor told me bowel cancer is one of the most curable so please try to stay positive

NotQuiteUsual · 27/08/2019 07:27

Whereabouts are you now and where are you trying to get to? Don't feel you need to say if you don't want to. But if you're anywhere near Reading, send me a PM. I'm free this morning and would happily drive you to see if we could get you there earlier. Public transport while you're stressed is the worst.

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.