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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that this family took photos and filmed when I was obviously so upset and terrified...

97 replies

Sandingham · 26/08/2019 20:38

Today we took my children for a much promised trip to a go ape type course. When we got there they wouldn't let my husband, as planned go round with my children aged 6 and 8, due to footwear (my fault for not checking closely enough). Concerned about the 6yr old and not wanting them to miss out I went up instead though I am afraid of heights. Whilst the six year old was a bit nervous on the first few obstacles I was ok, scared but could pull it together for his sake. When he got confidence and shot off round course with big brother and I was left alone, I froze, totally and utterly. I was shaking so much I couldn't work my hands or feet properly, struggled to breathe etc. I was clearly terrified, more-so than I have ever been in my whole life. There was no way down, you have to complete the whole thing. Two lovely lads came up and helped me. It was slow, I was shaking and really trying to get round. This family watching from the park next to us started to take photos of me, film me and were obviously finding the whole thing hilarious. Whilst I can see a funny side the idea that there is a film now of me at my worst and so utterly terrified I could hardly move my feet is really bothering me this evening.... I did finally get round and complete the course but this filming thing and being used as a laughing stock has upset me a bit! I keeping being scared it'll appear all over social media!!

OP posts:
RosesAndRaindrops · 26/08/2019 23:40

They're arseholes.
As someone who suffers from anxiety and would probably have done the same thing, you were really brave and should be proud of yourself!
You got up there and went with your kids, knowing you hated heights, that takes some courage.
Good on you!
Ignore the knobheads, just think "I did it" but they still have their horrible streak.

RosesAndRaindrops · 26/08/2019 23:45

You shouldn’t have gone up if you’re so afraid of heights that you would be physically unable to move. How odd

I have two kids, I can see why she did.
It's either all go home disappointed and upset and a possible long car journey home for nothing, or at least have a go with them.
OP probably didn't think she'd freeze and thought would be OK if she didn't look down, I know that'd be my thought process anyway lol.
Don't look down, thing shiny things and nice things.... Smile

user1473878824 · 26/08/2019 23:48

@BillywilliamV I have to say... I am desperate to ask...

Parttimewasteoftime · 26/08/2019 23:53

Jesus OP you are a legend... I would have lost it hate heights who films this!?

Abstractedobstructed · 26/08/2019 23:59

OP, They don't have a film of you at your worst.

They have a film of a person demonstrating selflessness, resilience, and great parenting - you went up and faced your fears to support your child, and effectively gave him his wings.

They have a film of a woman who despite her overwhelming fear, manages to complete the scariest thing she has ever done.

They have your very bravest moment on tape.

You, dear OP, are a fucking marvel.
Bravery isn't about doing something with ease. It's about being so scared you are shaking and crying...and getting to the end anyway. Well done Wine

BlueCornsihPixie · 27/08/2019 00:07

Well done for getting round OP!

At the end of the day what are they going to do with the video? It's not exactly a hilarious video, anyone who sees it will think badly of them not you. If someone showed you that video you'd just think what arseholes.

They might rewatch it themselves but they were already there and it's hardly that entertaining that they would need to see it again.

Id just think what sad individuals they are that they can't find anything better to do on a sunny bank holiday weekend than film someone do go ape. It's really pathetic if you think about it, that's how they get their enjoyment.

Be proud of yours for completing it. Think what a great time Your DC had and I wouldn't give them a second thought tbh

akerman · 27/08/2019 00:09

YANBU at all. That was a really mean thing to do and you are incredibly brave. I couldn't have done that at all - I'd have been crying.

akerman · 27/08/2019 00:10

abstracted - what a brilliant post! I second it - you should feel really proud of yourself, OP.

SarfE4sticated · 27/08/2019 00:21

The only thing that's a bit odd about this story/thread is your reaction.

Well done OP, i bet your children were really proud of you.

SarfE4sticated · 27/08/2019 00:27

first part of my last post to Imeatoad

user1473878824 · 27/08/2019 00:27

@Abstractedobstructed I LOVE you

RosaWaiting · 27/08/2019 00:27

Sarf, why is it odd? Confused

RosaWaiting · 27/08/2019 00:28

Oh cross post Sarf!

gluteustothemaximus · 27/08/2019 01:26

  1. Your DH was supposed to be doing it. He should have checked attire himself.
  1. You did something that terrified you, for your children.
  1. You completed the course, despite being terrified.

And PP is right, bravery isn’t doing something with ease. You did it, and you should be proud Flowers

If I watched a video like that, I’d think the people who videoed it were complete twats.

Chocmallows · 27/08/2019 01:37

How nasty and pathetic the people filming were. They could have willed you on, but instead chose to try to make it worse. You must wonder, what really shit lives they must have if they find that funny?

Good for you, you got on and did it! Grin

StoppinBy · 27/08/2019 02:08

I would have found it funny if it was a partner or close friend filming me in this situation. I think total strangers doing this is terrible and I would have given them a serve for being rude and made them delete anything that they had filmed. Not ok at all!

Olderthangoogle · 27/08/2019 02:55

Thats just mean. Maybe have a word with the company to suggest they implement more guidelines around phone/filming use on the premises.

Nonnymum · 27/08/2019 08:12

Firstly well done for getting round the course and for going up for your son. It must have been terrifying. I'm scared of heights too and something similar happened to me many years ago. It's not funny and I can't believe people can be so insensitive. I think you were very brave and the people filming you should be ashamed of themselves.

Tonnerre · 27/08/2019 08:15

Nothing like the same thing, but I recently went the wrong way whilst driving and ended up having to do a turn in a narrow lane. A couple of men turned up and obviously thought it was hugely amusing; rather than try to help, they simply stopped to watch the incompetent woman driver. I spoiled their fun by managing the turn relatively easily, but drove off feeling slightly ruffled that I'd been a source of amusement for them. But then I reflected on the fact that I might have cocked up on my map reading, but I wasn't one of the people who had just chosen to waste five minutes of their lives vacuously watching a car turn round, so that made me the winner.

NeverSayFreelance · 27/08/2019 08:19

I had a full blown hyperventilating panic attack on a cable car once, so I completely get the fear of heights. It's hideous. I would've been devastated if someone had filmed me.

Thanks for you

KUGA · 27/08/2019 08:40

Ahhh bless you for doing that for your boys.
Super mom for sure.
I wouldn't be worried about anything going viral but they were arseholes.
Also think there should be a way down what if there was an emergency for heavens sake.

Owlbabie5 · 27/08/2019 09:45

Wow well done you, I’m mighty impressed as suffer from a fear of heights too. A terrified person pushing through something for somebody else is the epitome of bravery.

Note they were taking pictures safely on the ground. Awful behaviour. You can hold your head high.

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