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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that this family took photos and filmed when I was obviously so upset and terrified...

97 replies

Sandingham · 26/08/2019 20:38

Today we took my children for a much promised trip to a go ape type course. When we got there they wouldn't let my husband, as planned go round with my children aged 6 and 8, due to footwear (my fault for not checking closely enough). Concerned about the 6yr old and not wanting them to miss out I went up instead though I am afraid of heights. Whilst the six year old was a bit nervous on the first few obstacles I was ok, scared but could pull it together for his sake. When he got confidence and shot off round course with big brother and I was left alone, I froze, totally and utterly. I was shaking so much I couldn't work my hands or feet properly, struggled to breathe etc. I was clearly terrified, more-so than I have ever been in my whole life. There was no way down, you have to complete the whole thing. Two lovely lads came up and helped me. It was slow, I was shaking and really trying to get round. This family watching from the park next to us started to take photos of me, film me and were obviously finding the whole thing hilarious. Whilst I can see a funny side the idea that there is a film now of me at my worst and so utterly terrified I could hardly move my feet is really bothering me this evening.... I did finally get round and complete the course but this filming thing and being used as a laughing stock has upset me a bit! I keeping being scared it'll appear all over social media!!

OP posts:
Catbrat · 26/08/2019 21:44

They are arseholes, why anyone would want to film someone distressed I do not know. I hope you told the staff about it.
I once saw a teenage lad run over by a bus in my local town centre, was absolutely horrific and the man stood next to me was taking a video, people are vile and just plain strange!

Wynston · 26/08/2019 21:46

Op i think you are amazing!!!
If i was to ever see that footage on social media i would just be thinking how brilliant you were doing when clearly terrified!!!
Dont let them take away youre achievement!!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 26/08/2019 21:52

I have nothing but admiration for you. I'm terrified of heights, and I would have (literally) pee'd myself. It takes courage to even attempt something that frightens you - people who don't fear these things have no idea what a huge task it is. You are incredible and I hope your family is proud of you.

The people who filmed you are twats - some people are just vile. I hope something similar happens to them and they are surrounded by mocking photographers.

5foot5 · 26/08/2019 22:02

You shouldn’t have gone up if you’re so afraid of heights that you would be physically unable to move. How odd.

Odd? She faced something that she was afraid of for the simple reason that if she hadn't her children would have been massively disappointed.
The only odd thing is that you would think that odd rather than be impressed by her bravery. If you were in her position helpmeiamatoad what would you have done? Shrug and say sorry kids it's a no go.

OP you did well and those people were arses. Oh yes and it isn't your fault that your DH didn't read the website properly and went in the wrong shoes. (Or is there a chance he knew all along and did that on purpose because he secretly didn't want to go up but couldn't admit it Shock)

Sandingham · 26/08/2019 22:16

Thanks 5foot5 that's what I wanted to say but felt unablt too. DH is off the hook re shoes. He asked me about shoes before we went, I checked and misunderstood the info and said his would be fine. They then supply shoes if you haven't got the right ones but none in his size!! He was a bit a disappointed but very nice to me!

OP posts:
Kaddm · 26/08/2019 22:19

They were total cunts.

Even if it did get on social media, they’d be the ones humiliated, not you. I’ve been on go ape, I found it a bit scary but I did enjoy it. I have a friend who did it for the sake of his ds and he himself was absolutely petrified. I know loads of parents who’ve done this. And fwiw, my cousin was on go ape and the person in front actually crapped himself in total and utter fear. So if your video went viral, you’d find thousands sympathising with you and that family would quickly lose their friends. They are just nasty, give them no more thought. Plus I’d have thought the shot of your face would be so far away you’d be unrecognisable.

user1473878824 · 26/08/2019 22:21

What vile people, I’m so sorry OP. Also HUGE well done from me!

Drabarni · 26/08/2019 22:26

Well done for overcoming your fear, and a great role model for your kids. Them filming your distress speaks volumes of such cunts, there's no other word.

Why is it your fault your dh had the wrong shoes, he could have checked too.

Drabarni · 26/08/2019 22:26

Whoops missed your last one, forget my shoe comment.

cheesydoesit · 26/08/2019 22:27

YANBU. What a bunch of dicks they are. I was in a bus crash with fatalities and instead of helping there were voyeuristic arseholes filming us from a grass verge which added to further upset for the kids I was with at the time.

Massive well done to you for completing the course though. Fuck them. If you do find the clip in social media then link this thread to it.

Itsacakebaby · 26/08/2019 22:34

Well done. You did so well.

We were going to Go Ape last year for dd's birthday. We watched footage of it before we booked it up. I was put right off knowing that once you were on it you had to complete the course and dd decided to do a boat trip instead!! (I was quietly pleased).

Those people were absolute idiots. If that was their idea of entertainment I really do pity them.

Tonnerre · 26/08/2019 22:35

Think about how empty their lives must be that they haven’t got anything better to do than to film total strangers.

Cornishclio · 26/08/2019 22:38

Well done OP. I would not do Go Ape and can understand why that would terrify you. The family who filmed you should be ashamed of themselves.

Jente · 26/08/2019 22:40

Screw those bastards. You felt the fear and did it anyway. As someone who is petrified of heights I salute you.

nettie434 · 26/08/2019 22:41

I had never heard of Go Ape so just looked it up. Omg - you are amazing Flowers Wine Star. To have done that so your children weren’t disappointed is such a wonderful thing to have done. They used the hashtag ‘Feel 50 foot tall’ but should feel at least 100 foot to have done that.

As for the people filming you, they have shown how horrible they are. However, unless they had paparazzi style lenses (which would be visible), I don’t think the photos/video would be remotely usable, and you would not be recognisable.

powershowerforanhour · 26/08/2019 22:48

Being fearless isn't courageous.
Being afraid and doing it anyway is.
Just be glad you're not them. Imagine you're the kind of arsehole who thinks this is hilarious and whose pathetic shot at their 15 minutes of fame is by putting this mean minded crap on youtube. If I stumbled across this on youtube I'd spend a few seconds feeling sorry for you, a bit longer thinking the camera holder is a nasty piece of work and then I'd click on something else as I don't like watching people suffering (if I did watch it to the end I'd be willing you on and silently cheer when you completed it as a mental "fuck you" to the videoer who was obviously hoping you were going to have to be aeriel-rescued by a staff member).

Btw my husband is a tree surgeon (brought up in a family of rock climbers) and he- and most of the people he has worked with, including the best tree climber he has ever known- occasionally gets a bit scared climbing. If he saw a video like this he'd really empathise with you, be impressed that you finished it, and think that the video taker should be dragged backwards through a Pyracantha.

babbi · 26/08/2019 22:57

You are an amazing mum OP.... very well done for completing this ... you rock 👌🏻

Cherrysherbet · 26/08/2019 22:59

You did so well to complete it op. They are absolute dicks. What a cruel thing to do.

Usingmyindoorvoice · 26/08/2019 23:03

OP you are officially Awesome!
Don’t let those idiots take that away from you.

Italiangreyhound · 26/08/2019 23:07

They are totally a load of pricks. I am so sorry. Well done for finishing the course. I hate heights too.

WanderingBar · 26/08/2019 23:09

Well done OP, what you did was amazing, I have a phobia and I couldn't imagine being able to conquer it for all the money in the world!

With regards to the person filming you, I think that these days people are so accustomed to photographing/filming everything, it's almost an automatic response to seeing something a little out of the ordinary, and doesn't necessarily mean that they're planning to post it anywhere or even show it to anyone else.

I understand how you feel though as something similar happened to me and ds a couple of years ago. I imagined we were going to end up all over sm and spent weeks obsessively checking everything I could think of! I never found us though :-).

TheWeatherGirl1 · 26/08/2019 23:09

I am sorry
I also had a total meltdown, 20ft off the ground, halfway around the Go Ape course.
Turns out I'm not as good with heights as I'd assumed..

Do your best to forget about it.
The family who filmed you are dicks, but also complete strangers who you'll never see again, and I'd be surprised if you suddenly go viral as watching a scared lady having a cry is neither funny or interesting.

Well done for getting up there in the first place

dollydaydream114 · 26/08/2019 23:10

You shouldn’t have gone up if you’re so afraid of heights that you would be physically unable to move. How odd.

  1. She did it because otherwise her children would have missed out on their treat - the alternative was that everyone went home. Nothing odd about that. It was bloody brave of her. Some people challenge themselves to overcome their fears and they should be applauded for that.
  1. What has that got to do with the fact that a bunch of arseholes decided to film her getting upset? Regardless of why the OP went up, nobody had a right to film her, which is what the post was about.

OP, you sound absolutely bloody great. What a brilliant mum you are and well done for managing to get through it.

threelittlerapscallions · 26/08/2019 23:13

They are idiots, horrible experience for you (both the heights and being filmed). I just googled go ape and looked at some pictures - I would never do it and all of my children would be scared too. By the way I assume there are safety nets/soft landing if you fall. In your position I would have completely refused to do it and taken the children home.

BillywilliamV · 26/08/2019 23:14

I've had two kids, a mastectomy and been held up at gunpoint and Go Ape is by far the most terrifying thing I ever done!