To cringe when I hear 'Do you fancy going up for a cuddle?'

[SillySallySue]

Just this really. My DH is ALWAYS pestering me for sex. Don't get me wrong, I like sex fairly frequently but he's so persistent when HE wants it, it actually puts me off, which annoys me in itself as I like sex. The worst part is when he says stuff like "Do you fancy a cuddle?" - There's no cuddling involved and what he actually means is "I want sex now".

Our 7 month old DS is teething, so naturally bless him, he's a bit pissed off with the world. We ended up finally getting tea at 10 and after I'd finished I let out a sigh and said "Man I'm beat" - he gave it 5 minutes before he came over and started groping me!

I quickly tried to make chit chat - so obviously I almost started cringing at myself lol - hoping he'd get the hint! He replied "Mmm" to what I said and then delivered the cringey "cuddle line"

I find it so un attractive! I don't know what I find more unattractive - him being so oblivious to the fact that I'm not up for it right now or his lack of... I don't know.

dolly exactly. I can't imagine anything more off putting than being pestered. The hottest guy in the world could put you off with that kind of shit.

Nothing turns me off more than a man who only wants to jizz in something and doesn't give a shit about the thing he's jizzing in. Feel like a blow up doll only there for a hole.

Why does he assume because you've been together a while he's got a free pass for it just because he's horny? This wouldn't be acceptable when you were first dating.

Does he still take an interest in what's going on in your mind? What turns you on? Or does he assume he knows it all and let's just get to the jizz part?

My ex husband got like that, especially toward the end. It didn’t matter if I wasn’t in the mood. If I tried to be loving, like run my hand down his shoulder/arm chest, he’d suddenly grip my wrist, fingers like a manacle, and give it a horrible shove straight to his penis. It was beyond off putting, it still makes me tense thinking if it. It got to where it felt like he treated me like a whore.

In fact, he would often be in another room, watching porn, then come creeping over to me. It wasn’t always like that, it used to be skillful, passionate, loving, playful. It’s like he just couldn’t bother with the effort beyond going straight to it because he got comfortable and lazy as the years passed.

@TheKarateKitty

I have the urge to swing a 25kg kettle bell into this man's balls

This thread reminds me of my ex. It was all about him and his needs. I once came home from the hospital after a serious problem with my eye. I was greeted with " do you fancy a bit later on?" No I really don't. We didnt last. He once asked me if he satisfied me sexually. I told him no but made no effort to ask what the problem was. Just wanted an easy lay.

Eurgh this is reminding me of my ex. He never masturbated or watched porn either, he just felt like it was my job to de-jizz him. Sometimes, I would be sat on the sofa reading and he would walk into the room, walk over to me, point at my crotch and say "I want to get in there".

Oh God, op, the cuddle phrase has made my fanny slam shut! YADNBU...

@Thuglife..he used to slap his willy in your face?? 😱 He would only have done that one time to be...his willy would have never survived to do it a second time!!

Christ on a bike, some men are just grim 🤮

I agree with dolly and SGB. He doesn't care about your feelings at all here, he just wants a convenient wank sock. There's nothing more unattractive than feeling like a horny dog's blow up doll. He's a lousy lay and he gets away with it by playing the victim and at your expense. It's going to take some serious backbone to confront him with these truths, but if you don't you'll wind up hating him (how you don't already I don't actually know). Worth it, though, because do you really want to spend the rest of your life being the de-jizzer of a horny dog who really doesn't care about your feelings and acts like a teenager? I'd rather have no sex at all than live with a person like this.

Yes he would piss me off, it is like he is saying your day is not over yet, he needs some attention. Some men are like DC and expect their turn for attention, forgetting they are an adult and parent.
Yanbu.

@timshelthechoice 'de-jizzer of a horny dog' 🤣. That really made me chuckle 😂 (you're right though...colourfully put 💁‍♀️)