Insulting birthday card from husband AIBU?

[Amibeingsensitive]

Birthday card on front says

Birthday girl
Become instantly younger with the Eternal Youth rejuvenating lifestyle!
The secrets in the formula...no diet...no exercise...just lie about your age!

I'm 31 and a size 12 with a mum tum after 2 kids. I don't diet or exercise I was a size 8-10 when I met him.

He's not one to give a jokey card it's usually just sweet cards. He said he didn't realise its offensive he just liked the design and didn't pick it for the words.

Am I being sensitive and unreasonable? Is he giving me a dig that I am getting old and need to lose weight or mybe he's just an idiot?

It's deffo knocked my confidence a bit I know it's only a birthday card but surely he's not that stupid and he'd know it'd offend me

Well, I’d be upset that he didn’t put more thought into it, or y‘know actually read it.

Cos it’s the thought that counts, but that’s cos I value cards over presents.

Are you not feeling very happy within yourself re: self image or feeling old before your time as 31 is not “getting old”.

Massively overreacting. Give the man a break.

The issue isn't whether or not we think you're overreacting.

The issue is that this upset you.

Just tell him, exactly as you told us. You've mentioned it to him, but clearly he doesn't see why you are upset. We're all upset by different things. IMO, in a healthy relationship, you learn to negotiate those things and cheer each other up, no matter how big or small the original issue.

YABU. Which is a good thing because it means you don’t need to be upset or LTB.

I think it is quite a funny card, not offensive, just lighthearted.
Size 12 is slim! I was a bag of bones at size 12 age 31, ribs and hip bones sticking out and cheek bones to die for so I imagine a size 8-10 as someone who would fall through the rungs on manhole covers!
You're to be envied!

Happy birthday

I wouldn't be thrilled either OP.

Other posters think you're over reacting but perhaps the card hurts because it taps in to a fear you have that he has views about women that are distorted enough to think that a 31 year old woman is not young! Or, old enough to need to lie!

God your poor husband. Are you sure you're not 12 and a size 31? Grow up.

I think it was just a joke, don't take things like that so seriously and work on your own self confidence. I'm sure you're amazing just as you are, you just need to be the one that sees that and your other half probably already sees it. Don't worry about it!

Huge overreaction.
I was '39' for a long time, jokingly, and I see it is a similar thing to that

I feel your pain... last year my DH sent me a gorgeous card saying "I wish I'd met you sooner so I could love you longer'. This year (my 50th) I got... "happy 50th birthday, you don't look your age, in fact the years have been kind to you" and then inside..."it's the weekends that have done the damage!" Quite witty except I'm in full throws of peri menopause, have gained about 2 stone and feel more unattractive than ever, plus drinking more (at weekends) to forget how much I hate myself right now.... so, I've said nothing but am hurting like fuck!!! Sorry OP they are such thoughtless dicks sometimes!!! X

Jeez.

You sound like Mr. Pooter and his insulting Christmas card.

Except it wasn't.

Huge overreaction IMO.

You’re over reacting because your insecure. Work on yourself. Good luck

I think you got the wrong end of the stick.

It's not offensive.... it states basically don't do anything to look younger just lie about your age.

I don't see how this is offensive

Instead of a card he should’ve got you a sense of humour.

Agree with all of the above.
you haven`t the same sense of humour to be honest.

Is there anything that doesn't cause offence?? Do grow up.

What’s he like in general OP? I know in a second if DH is being an arse. He would never send me a jokey card cos he knows I don’t like them. But tbh I can’t say he hasn’t cocked up now and again in his choice of card/Presi in the 34 years we’ve been together.
If he’s normally thoughtful I wouldn’t bother too much about it.

I hate cards with any kind of jibe in them because they can so easily be taken the wrong way.

I make a policy never to send any that make digs about the recipient's age or appearance.

If you like/love someone enough to send them a birthday card, make sure it says something nice.

Having said that, your DH has apologised for not reading it properly. It's probably time to let it go.

I wouldn’t be happy to receive a card like that either. It’s a stupid card.

Smacks of misogyny and is just a bit unpleasant. Surely he would know if this was in line with your sense of humour or not. What an idiot.

Yabu.

Its saying don't worry about dieting or anything, just lie about your age

DP and I find the worst cards we can each year to give to each other. If his wasn’t offensive then I’d be pissed off hed made no effort.

Yabu over this one I’m afraid

Omg. Massive overreaction. I don't even see how it could be offensive.

For our last anniversary my DP got me a “sorry you’re leaving” card.