To hate life with misophonia

[Harmony83]

For those who don't know, misophonia is a condition that literally means "hatred of sound"
It's not a made up condition, it's becoming more recognised and researched. However, there is no cure and little is known about the cause. For the record I'm not a snowflake, this is a condition that has plagued me since childhood and I have only recently discovered it has a name and I'm not the only one suffering!
To me, trigger sounds are
Slurping hot drinks
Flicking newspapers
Chewing noises
Clicking pens
And many more, I seem to develop a new trigger every couple of months. My immediate reaction is sheer rage, it makes me want to punch a wall and scream and cry ( for the record I'm only an angry person when triggered, usually I'm a happy funny girl! ) it can take hours to come down from being triggered and life can only be described as a living hell some days. It really is unbearable. Sometimes my only solution is to sit alone with ear plugs and my fingers shoved in my ears and my eyes shut until I calm down. Not ideal for a young mother with a professional job!
I'm becoming desperate as my relationship is suffering due to my ever increasing irritability with DH eating noises. I understand I must be a nightmare to live with.
My reason for posting is to see if any other sufferers have any tried and tested methods for easing the reactions? Please no abuse. I really just want help to overcome this and stop my kids from picking up on it.
I get abuse regularly from friends/family that don't understand and people that think it's funny to trigger me just to get a reaction.
Apparently Philip Schofield also suffers with this!

Another sufferer here. My main triggers are eating sounds (including sipping noises and scraping yogurt pots - the latter makes me want to beat the offender with their stupid spoon). Dog barking, the bass of music nearby and and car engines idling are all also hard to bear

Interestingly I'm already on long-term anti anxiety meds yet I still suffer. I hate it.

Caucho I know it's easy to dismiss something you know nothing about, but when you've lived with a condition like this - you KNOW. There is a huge difference between a noise I hate and a trigger noise. For example, I hate the sound of nails on a blackboard, but I would listen to it any day over a noise such as someone chomping on food. I've actually been to my GP, he knew nothing about it. It's only just recognised. To be fair I had to educate my GP on my autoimmune disease after she tried to put my at the time debilitating fatigue down to just "struggling with being a single parent" . They're not the fountain of all knowledge, not specialists in any area and it's fairly common for a patient to know more about their own condition. In this case it's only now got a name for it so I'd say we're a decade or two away from more help being available.

For other sufferers, I'm on a facebook group - UK misophonia support group. It's a nice little group that people share tips and can vent without being judged.

Is it a form of anxiety or is the anxiety an (I would have thought almost inevitable) result of the condition?

Can you treat the anxiety (I don't mean with drugs) and would that soothe the condition?

My son's voice is breaking and he cannot seem to ever speak in a quiet tone. The combination is infuriating

I keep thinking about seeing someone privately for this. Mine is getting consistently worse.

My DH eating is awful. I can’t eat with him in the house, only a restaurant with background noise to drown it out. I feel so bad for him as it’s only him that eats in a way that makes my head spin.

I will not have pencils in my house, the noise of them on paper makes me physically shudder and I get a weird feeling like I’m going to burst into tears.

Any kind of tinny noise, like hearing someone else talking through someone’s phone, shit speakers, or music leaking through someone’s headphones.

Repetitive noise is awful, I end up so focused on it that I can’t concentrate. I had to ask for a ticking clock to be removed from a meeting room once as it was making me feel almost dizzy from using so much brain power to override the sound.

I empathise with you all as I also have misophonia and get "the rage"

We have no clicky top pens in the house any more, we got rid of the wooden coffee table - DH could not keep his socked feet from rubbing on it. (just thinking about that noise of socked feet repeatedly rubbing on wood is making me clench my fingers right now - I have the fight or flight thing building up in my chest)

And after threatening divorce after he opened a plastic bag near my head (I was sitting at table, he was walking past from kitchen and opened a bag rustling it for ooooo all of 20 seconds - I could not bear it and had to walk away... immediately... quickly...) I went to see the doc - he said - oh yes misophonia, you can medicate as if for anxiety if you want to, or try CBT if you want to - doc also has it and tried it all... some things work for a bit.

What has helped me is that with age has come tinnitus - I can concentrate on the tinnitus internal "noise" (mine is a high pitched broad spectrum hum) and that masks a lot of general external noise

I’m happy that I have found my people, I started to think I was just a horrible crank person when I was a kid I got pure rage at seeing my step dad wiggle his toes at the corner of my eye (thanks god my mum broke up with him anyway). The sound of tea slurping, repetitive visuals like someone scratching their leg, sniffing (ARGHH) especially when they have a cold - JUST BLOW YOUR NOSE (my bf has learned this phrase and side eyes me when he gets a cold as he knows I’m internally burning but trying to stay calm). I’ve also had sensitive hearing since I was a child, I used to be scared of fireworks and can only just tolerate them now. I used to pretend to be sick/panic in primary school when they had impromptu surprise concerts during assembly as the noise was too much.

Also I’m sensitive in many other ways including sensitive stomach/easily feeling sick, emotionally/empathically, needing a lot of sleep and having low energy. Do you think the stress off it causes your immune system to decrease and it is all linked?

What a relief to find this thread! My DM was very unforgiving about this. A lot of people just don't understand that visceral fight-or-flight response and the sheer panic when you can do neither. They tell you to grow up, get a grip, stop being so intolerant, or that 'everyone has noises they don't like, and they aren't so silly.'

DP is more understanding, though I always make sure I'm in a different room when he eats his breakfast. Not so bad if I'm eating at the same time as my own eating noises mask his. I can't explain why my own eating doesn't trigger me. It's hard for people to understand that the problem is the noise, not them personally.

Very grateful to see the advice from a PP to concentrate on tinnitus - mine too is increasing with age and it's good to know it has an advantage!

Thanks too for the heads up on the FB group.

I would be interested to know if any of those with misophonia have siblings or close relatives with ASD. My DS1 has misophonia and DS2 has low functioning ASD.

Partridge yes, my son has autism. I definitely have lots of autistic traits, but have never sought diagnosis. I can imagine there could be a link, as it’s also sensory-related.

I can’t stand the sound of my cats cleaning themselves, I have to be in another room it literally makes me want to punch something. That and the sound of other people brushing their teeth although weirdly don’t mind when I am doing my own. And people who make “biting” noises with teeth when eating something that doesn’t even need chewing ie Ice cream. Euuurrrgghhhhh

I hate things that beep so microwaves, timers, alarms, car sensors, the ding noise before an announcement is made, the fridge beeping when the doors left open for too long.

The noise goes right through me.

I can't believe how noisy a touchscreen phone can be, thank goodness most people turn off the letter clicks when sending messages now.

@traaalaaaaraaaah Maybe consider a couple of visits to a chiropractor for your son, it made all the difference for my clicky jaw.

My sister has this. It has had a massive, horrible impact on our family. As teens, I thought she really hated me and my parents because she couldn’t bear to be in our company when any of us were eating, which is of course a massive part of family life. I still avoid crisps, or suck them, 30 years later.
I don’t really have advice other than please seek help.
My sister is more able to tolerate some of the things she previously couldn’t bear. I think this is because she realised it was affecting her kids.
I have sympathy but I also feel anger towards my sister cos it had such an enormous impact on everything my family did.

I also struggle with noises and think I may be a sufferer as what triggers me doesn’t seem to bother anyone else. These noises literally dampen my day and makes me incredibly angry and rage-y. Its makes me feel so miserable. The only way I have found to deal with it is to use ear plugs which sadly isn’t great when I’m at home.

I struggle with the constant banging from the kids in the flat upstairs when they play football, fall and jump the noises make me feel so incredibly incensed.

At my old work place there used to be a disgusting colleague who would clear his throat really loudly every few minutes or cough with his mouth open which I found really u hygienic and foul mannered.

I also hate the loud sirens going past me I have to cover my ears.

So this thread has spurred me into action. I have just sent two Emails to local psychologists asking if they have any experience of treating Misophonia. Scared but excited . We need to set up a closed FB page so we can share treatment experiences !

I used to have this- my triggers were people eating/cutlery on plates/shoes squeaking/heavy breathing/squeaky doors and more.

Then I tried an SSRI and my extreme sensitivity to sound reduced. The rage is now just a fleeting irritation. I can live normally.
If you don't like the idea of an SSRI ask your GP about mood stabilisers (aripriprazole etc). You can't get rid of noises but meds can help change your reaction to them.

My mother suffered with this. She was so relieved when she found out that it was a recognised condition.

She would rage at me for eating apples, crisps, sniffing, scraping knives and forks.

If it is affecting your day to day life then your gp should do something. My mother also had aspergers.

@moomoomummy that’s not a bad idea at all as I am seriously finding it hard to cope with the noises coming from my neighbours upstairs. Funny enough the noises don’t bother my husband yet I don’t want to spend all my time at home with earplugs in. He finds it weird it sends me into a rage everytime they bang and crash around upstairs.

I also have this. Been suffering since I was a child. I couldn't eat with my family but they just didn't understand. I used to pretend I needed the toilet at meal times and just sit in there praying by the time I came downstairs they would have finished eating. I used to get shouted out, moaned out and sometimes forced to eat with everyone and I would literally go insane with rage!
They understand a bit more now but not fully.
Nose breathing is the absolute worst, cats licking themselves, people eating crisps, chewing gum is unbearable and I have to leave the room. When you can hear the food in their mouths oh my goodness. My boss was chewing gum in the car so loudly last month I actually considered jumping out of the car window... 😂
Ear plugs at night work a treat to sleep with husband, it's the only way I could share a room with him. He drank his tea in my ear on purpose a few months ago and that was it, I nearly googled divorce lawyers! 😂
I wish there was a treatment!!!

I think mine was brought on by SA when I was a child as the noise maker was also the perpetrator. Over the years I seem to develop a new annoyance if the old one is no longer there. I have seen several therapists over the years and it was put down to PTS. This is really the first time I have heard of misophonia. Wish there was something to help it though.

yes i hate noisy eating, deep breathing and also the tv or radio on when im not listening to it.

Feeling your pain. My triggers are high-pitched noises (in particular, the sound of children screaming, which physically make me want to run away), squeaky noises such as cutlery squeaking on a plate, tapping (e.g. door tapping in its frame when there's a draught), repetitive sounds e.g. computer game music, overly loud TV or radio (I can't sustain a train of thought over the top of this), films/TV etc that contain a lot of screaming, people speaking unnecessarily loudly/shouting for no good reason, and sometimes even the sound of laughter (e.g. I find prolonged or loud laughter very jarring on podcasts and radio programmes.)

Basically most of the sounds that surround us all on a day-to-day basis nowadays drive me crazy and break into my concentration and it does make life hard. Screaming is by far and away the worst one for me. Thank Gawd I never had kids.

my 13 year old DD self diagnosed misophonia when she was 11 and started raging at eating and breathing noises. She rarely eats with us as just cries. I took her to 3 GPs and finally one understood that her life was being made miserable and agreed to refer on. She had to have a hearing test initially and actually does also have super acute hearing. The tester knew a lot about misophonia and explained to DD that her body has learned to listen out for triggers (as they pose a danger) and that she needs to learn to do the opposite and try and think about other things and retrain her brain. It is CBT and she has been referred to see a psychologist in London for 6 sessions of CBT to see if she can learn some coping strategies.
It is very hard being a teenager with it as it is so isolating. There are apparantly some good online support groups she belongs to.
I would also say OP, and you will know this already but it is also very hard for others to live with a misophonic. Her siblings get very wound up by her as the noises that trigger her are noises she will regularly make, humming, nail biting, snffing, eating, chewing, breathing...she is worst offender but shouts at everyone else. We are noisy pigs and apparantly do it all on purpose just to trigger her. Ho hum. Hope you get some help.