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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for wanting to pluck my daughter's eyebrows?

90 replies

imageiseverything · 06/08/2007 17:55

my dd is 10, she has really bushy eyebrow's (think noel gallagher like) and i think she's gettin picked on for it. should i pluck or wax them?

thanks

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 06/08/2007 19:59

Bushy eyebrows are in this year, so tell her she should be proud of them. My daughter will probably be the same at that age as she has v. dark, thick hair and quite gorgeous eyebrows, I wouldn't do anything about it. Her eyebrows are that way because they fit her face.

expatinscotland · 06/08/2007 20:06

Naomi Wolf is a nutjob in a way only an American can be.

I'd rather pluck my child's eyebrows than give her a Naomi Wolf book - a more self-absorbed and overrated creature there is not.

hifi · 06/08/2007 20:43

i was relentlessley teased about brows / tash at school. i wished my mom would have helped me. if its a mono brow i would definately pluck a few of the ones in the middle if SHE is bothered about it.recently baught my niece some jolene for her lip hair after having a very light hearted conversation about it, she confided she was teased, gave it to my sister to do, no probs since.

AufishFeQueen · 07/08/2007 01:33

My DD is nearly 11 and I have plucked her eyebrows for the last couple of months, because she was being bullied because of them. They come almost down onto her eyelids and she was having terrible comments about them, so I use the bonjela method and she sits there whilst I do it for her. She has asked for it and I did the whole talk about how painful it was and that I very rarely pluck my eyebrows. Then again I don't have unruly eyebrows. It's not something I exactly envisaged for my daughter at this age but I will not have her being bullied, she also has her legs done with hair removal cream as she has really hairy legs for the same reason. My other daughter is 16 months younger than her and has got the same traits so she will wait until she actually needs them done, as in her legs. We always have a fantastic thing going on within the house about body image as I was bulimic and anorexic and I don't want that to happen to them.

fillyjonk · 07/08/2007 08:18

nothing wrong with parents helping kids if this idea comes from the kids

everything wrong with parents projecting their own beauty ideals on children and deciding to normalise them, if this idea hadn't actually occured to the kid.

FlameBatfink · 07/08/2007 08:30

I'm confused by the never waxing facial hair... why do beauticians do eyebrow waxing then?

harleyd · 07/08/2007 08:41

if she wants them done then go for it. otherwise leave her alone until she comes to you

fairyjay · 07/08/2007 08:41

My dd is 14. She became conscious of hair on her upper lip a couple of years ago, and has had it waxed since then.

She nagged for a couple of years before I let her shave her legs, but she is now very careful and sensible about this.

She announced a couple of weeks ago that whilst in town, she had made an appointment to have a bikini wax . On reflection, I was happy she had the confidence to do this, as I know I was very aware of my bikini line at her age, to the extent that it stopped me swimming.

It's certainly a fine line, but I would help her if she was concerned.

kslatts · 07/08/2007 09:27

I think YABU and wouldn't mention it, if your dd brings it up and really wants to do something about it then you could consider it then.

PSCMUM · 07/08/2007 09:30

o dear no. teach her she is beautiful no matter what and doesn't need painful procedures to please other people. And remember that she's 10 and she will probably spend from 13-25 in a state of anxiety about her appearance anyway - don't give her a head start!

oliveoil · 07/08/2007 09:31

and what, pray, is wrong with NG eyebrows hmmmmmmmm?

10 is too young to be thinking of this crap tbh and so what if she is the school geek, I was a school geek and am rather fabulous if I say so myself

iirc I got into badly applied make up etc at around 13 or so

book looks good that cod linked

aloha · 07/08/2007 09:32

joke thread?

nailpolish · 07/08/2007 09:43

i get my eyebrows waxed every 4 wks

its AGONY

im an adult though so i can decide for myself

i wouldnt subject my daughter to it

bleaching would be better at this age

poor love probably doesnt think there is anythng wrong with her eyeborws tho, i imagnie

eleusis · 07/08/2007 09:45

Leave them until her bushy eyebrows bother her. I have naturally bushy eyebrows and have them waxed/plucked often. But I didn't do it at age 10.

Pluckinh is usually advised as being better because it doesn't pull out the fine hairs that don't need to be pulled out (and can sometimes grow back as thicker darker hair) but waxing hurts less because it is all over in a few seconds. I prefer waxing.

LieselVentouse · 07/08/2007 09:46

no but i would seriously consider whisking her off for sunbeds

nailpolish · 07/08/2007 09:47

plucking is timeconsuming - it feels like yu are doing it daily
waxing - every few wks and you dont have to think about it in between

but not on a 10yr old, IMO

liliac · 07/08/2007 13:39

yes

Meglet · 07/08/2007 13:49

Not if she is being bullied for it. Although I'd just trim them a bit, plucking would mess up the natural line. She may well want fuller eyebrows when she is older.

I was always bullied for being hairy at school and it made me miserable for years.

liliac · 07/08/2007 20:36

I ment yes I would get it done.
I would ask her if she had any problems at school, but make it general ie school work as well as friends, if she mentions her eyebrows then yes I would get it done, but I would take her to a slaon to have it done. My dd is very lucky her eyerows are such a gorgeous shape, but ... I too looked like a hairy woman, legs, arms, fango, neck, face, cheeks and eyes from the age of 7. I remember my mam asking and I said yes, so she took me to a salon, and even when my da was on strike (he was a miner) there was not much money for anything else but there was always money for me to have my face waxed. You must tell her though that it is very painful. I am 35 now and apart from a very hary chin, the hairs that I have had waxed on my face have been waxed for that long that they very rarely grow. BTW my mam was totally into beauty but I have never been, but I still remember the feeling of being so relieved to go back to school in the september being relativley free of hair.

MaeBee · 08/08/2007 09:04

nooooo! i have bushy eyebrows and they are invariably commented on in a good way, our little defects are what makes us attractive. my mum has horrible scrawny eyebrows and she plucked them to death when she was young which is a big regret for her. she did it cos of pressure from her mum (who now draws on her eyebrows!!!cos they don't exist anymore).
im 33, granted, not 10, but please don't project the image of the little girl you were onto your own, very different and unique child. you say she's bookish and not wanting to get her ears pierced. sounds like a great little girl to me.
EVERYONE gets picked on for something. you guessing that its her eyebrows could be way out. i am ashamed and embarassed to admit that in primary school i was a bully , and if some girl had come in with plucked eyebrows i would have bullied her for that certainly. i too got bullied. almost everyone does im sorry to say. but having her mum think something is wrong with her looks isn't going to help her confidence.
my mums big hangup was tampons, cos she longed to use them when she was a girl and her mum wouldn't let her. so when my periods started she pushed and hassled me into using them. (she probably assumed she was being helpful because for her they were a liberating thing). i struggled with them til i was about 16 and then gave up and have used sanitary towels ever since. i feel really tense using tampons and i think my mum blew it by pressuring me. tampons were her issue, not mine.
and it sounds like the eyebrows are your issue, not hers. it also sounds like you are a great mum too, and its really wise to check with some outsiders! my little boy is only 10 mths so haven't got to all this image stage and im sure i will have a whole heap of issues too.
xxx

Wuxiapian · 08/08/2007 12:38

You are placing too much emphasis on her appearance and if you make an issue out of it, she'll no doubt develop a complex about her appearance.

She needs to learn to rise above any nasty comments.

moljam · 08/08/2007 12:43

yabu,shes a child.shes not bothered nor should you be.

Pinkchampagne · 08/08/2007 13:06

I would leave her eyebrows alone. She is only a child, and they are not bothering her by the sounds of things, so leave her eyebrows.
I have thick eyebrows, and never got picked on as a child because of them. They are still pretty thick now (I am not great at plucking them because it is agony!), and don't bother me or anyone else at all!

flowermother · 10/11/2016 12:11

My almost 10 year old DD did tell me that she doesn't like her eyebrows yesterday. They are bushy and dark, just like mine. Her older sister has hers threaded, but I know my younger daughter would find this too painful. As a compromise I trimmed them by brushing them up and trimming, used hair removal cream on the hairs between her eyebrows, and lightly plucked stray strands underneath. Basically just tidied them up, and she's now much happier.

I was teased because of my bushy eyebrows and upper lip hair which I found enormously upsetting and that did a lot of damage to my self esteem.

As soon as my girls mention anything like this I just get it sorted. Of course all children should be taught assertiveness, but that doesn't help much when horrid kids continue to point out your bushy eyebrows and upper lip hair. So sorry, whilst very worthy, in reality it's not particularly helpful coming from someone who has experience of it!

RiverTam · 10/11/2016 12:12

You sound rather like you think you DD is a bit weird for not being into her appearance and ear piercing and whatnot, good for her, I say.