Dh thinks he's a nap hero

[Neoflex]

Every time I accidentally take a nap I feel so unwell for the rest of the day it literally ruins my day. I just put my daughter down for a nap and accidentally fell asleep with her on the bed. 3 hours later and I feel like death. Groggy, sick, frustrated, annoyed and unable to think. Legs are wobbly and im glued to the sofa.

Dh on the other hand loves naps and is always trying to trick me into a family nap. It's like a hobby.

If he didn't work he would join our 20 month old for all of our naps. On weekends he always naps with our toddler.

We just spent two weeks on holiday and he napped with her every single day, for 3 hours. Sometimes I read my book on the balcony, sometimes I cooked or cleaned, but some days I would have liked some company.

If I am ever tired he blames me for "refusing" to nap even though I have explained time and time again how unwell it makes me feel. He just can't understand because "naps feel so good". If I am accidentally nodding off he sees this as an opportunity to force me into a nap by shutting the curtains and covering me in a blanket. It's supposed to be romantic but I have begged him to always stop me from napping anywhere.

Ive just woken grumpy from another nap so probably i am. But abiu to hate naps and also slightly hate him for all the magical naps he gets to enjoy while i just feel like dogger?

I love a nap. And would everyday if I could too.

My best friend, is like you though.

I wouldn't wake her up if she was falling asleep.

If you are falling asleep, get up move around. If he shuts the curtains tell him to pack it in.

I have to say i would be annoyed if dp had a 3 hour nap, every day on holiday leaving me on my own.

My DH loves a nap and will have one at every opportunity.
I am exactly the same as you, if I nap during the day it ruins me completely and I feel awful.
If I'm tired during the day he will always say 'have a nap', he doesn't get that I would rather just push through the day and then have an early night.
The problem them occurs because I will want an early night and he won't be remotely tired as he has had a nap. I then get really annoyed as I'm trying to get to sleep and can hear the tv!

I wouldn't call 3 hours a nap, that's a full on sleep. I'd be annoyed if the person I'm meant to be on holiday with pissed off to bed for three hours a day, and I love a nap myself. A ten minute nap.

But having said that, I think it's unfair to ask him to wake you up if he sees you falling asleep. That's a no win situation there...

OP I am just like you! Naps turn me into Satan! They make me feel horrendous I get headache, really snappy and I lose all motivation for the rest of the day! IABU to be how I am with people after I have napped but I can’t control it at the time a nap makes me a completely different awful to be around person.

I'd leave him with the kid and go and have a solo walk/swim/cycle/adventure with the lunchtime nap, tbh.

Neither of you is wrong. He likes naps, you don't. It's not his responsibility to wake you up if you do fall asleep. I'd expect him to respect it if you told him to stop suggesting naps to you because you hate them, though, and if it's leaving your night sleep habits wildly out of sync then I would also try and negotiate a workable compromise there.

I would love to feel refreshed after a nap but also another one who just feels like shit - headache, heavy legs and that nasty low blood sugar feeling. Your DH must think he is doing you a favour because he feels good after a nap and doesn’t get it. Get him a nap buddy ref: Ross and Joey!

Like stripes, certain colours and seafood, naps suit some people and not others.

I can't nap. I fall asleep too deeply, oversleep and end up like the OP.

Some people just can't cope with them; my 8 year old is one of those people. Since he was around 15 months if he napped through the day he was possessed by demons for the following ten hours, so we gave up all naps very early on.

I, on the other hand, am the nap queen and often take a twenty minute nanna nap before a night out. It's just what your body needs or doesn't need, so your DH is being a bit of a dong not to understand that.

Sorry OP but I love naps, on a weekend they make up for my bad sleeping patterns.

However it is shit he won't accept you don't like them

Wow I am already starting to feel better just knowing that I am not alone!

It does mess up his sleeping patterns. He comes to bed way later than me and often doesn't want to get up early in the morning either!! Although toddler is a fan of 6am wake ups. 90 percent of the time its me who gets up because I have had a decent night's sleep. So he wins a round.

Cressidaduck, last holiday we were in a hotel and i did exactly that, went swimming every day. But this time we were in a rented apartment with no pool and so I spent a lot of time just waiting for the nappers.

His argument is that a holiday is for renergizing, which i also agree with. But it has the opposite effect on me!!

Long naps disorient me so much that I would rather push on through tiredness than take a nap. I once fell asleep and was woken by a knock on the front door. I staggered to open it and was met by an acquaintance who needed to speak to me about something. I remember showing her where to sit, plonking myself down on a chair and not speaking much to her at all. No offer of refreshments or any normal welcoming offers.It was horrendous and I couldnt even explain myself to her. Luckily she wasnt someone I wanted in my life but she didnt deserve the cold shoulder treatment which is what she probably perceived it as. I never allowed myself to fall asleep during that day for a long time afterwards.
I agree with PP that a 3 hour nap is a proper sleep.
I have found though that I can now make myself relax enough to fall asleep (leaning on my hand usually) and take a 10-20 minute nap that takes the edge off for me. I dont wake disoriented and am able to function.
It also works when I wake at night to send me off to sleep again so that means Im not quite so overtired as I used to be.

Your toddler naps for 3 hours???every day??? I'm sorry, I'm completely jealous.

It’s about optimising your napping.

45 minutes is great. 3 hours for an adult is ridiculous. I’d also be pissed off if I was abandoned for 3 hours every day.

Bubbletrubbe my dh has trained her to nap so long. If she stirs he is there shushing her back to sleep so he can keep napping.

My DP loves a nap (nor for hours though!) but I hate them, they make me feel groggy and ill and my contact lenses go weird

The only time I'll sleep in the day is if I'm really unwell.

I always feel indescribably dreadful after a nap as well. Just never have them now unless I absolutely have to try and sleep off a really bad migraine.

Biphasal sleep is normal in humans. It actually more healthy to break sleep into 2x a day. It ok it not work for you personally, but it how most humans sleep. So it also ok for your DH to sleep biphasal.

I love a good naff. I should have been born in Spain, I was born to have a siesta. Dh and I nap all the time.

But I read recently that 20 minutes in the recommended /prime time period.

Not 3 hours. You're doing it all wrong!

Plus even when Ds1 and Ds2 did nap, they didn't do it for 3 hours. 1-2 hours max.

Mine were in bed by about 6 or 7pm and slept through very easily at a young age, so they woke up at 6am or 7am.

Well, stop hanging around waiting for the nappers. They can catch you up somewhere, that's what mobile phones are for. Go out and enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever you feel like for a few hours.

I'm going to bed between 10 and 11pm, waking between 2am and 4.30 am so a nap is a godsend when my body allows me to. Some people thrive on a nap and others it makes them feel groggy and worse than before!

Maybe try just 1 hour?

Ahh I love a nap so I can totally see why your DH took advantage of the opportunity on holiday.

Enjoy the free time I say

I love a nap. About 30-45 minutes is my preference. But I am also able and willing to forego my nap if something better is on offer or if it doesn't suit. I also accept that some of us are nappers and some aren't. So I think your DH is being unreasonable for firstly not foregoing his nap at least a few times on holiday to keep you company, and secondly for not accepting that you are a non-napper.

He is being unreasonable to "force" you into a nap when you've told him repeatedly it makes you feel bad. A lot of people are so lacking in empathy I find, especially men like they often seem to think food intolerances are made up or I'm being a diva for saying a certain food makes me feel bad.

I'd say get your own back by interrupting him when he goes for a nap e.g. loud music, open the curtains, wake him etc. until he realizes how annoying that is and hopefully he'll stop doing the opposite to you (pressurizing you to nap)

I feel the exact same if I fall asleep/nap during the day for more than half an hour or so. Just woken up after 3 hours snoozing and feel like utter crap. We had a very late night out last night hence the napping. My husband on the other hand has been wide awake, no doubt saving his nap for when we watch a couple of episodes on Netflix later .