Dh thinks he's a nap hero

[Neoflex]

Every time I accidentally take a nap I feel so unwell for the rest of the day it literally ruins my day. I just put my daughter down for a nap and accidentally fell asleep with her on the bed. 3 hours later and I feel like death. Groggy, sick, frustrated, annoyed and unable to think. Legs are wobbly and im glued to the sofa.

Dh on the other hand loves naps and is always trying to trick me into a family nap. It's like a hobby.

If he didn't work he would join our 20 month old for all of our naps. On weekends he always naps with our toddler.

We just spent two weeks on holiday and he napped with her every single day, for 3 hours. Sometimes I read my book on the balcony, sometimes I cooked or cleaned, but some days I would have liked some company.

If I am ever tired he blames me for "refusing" to nap even though I have explained time and time again how unwell it makes me feel. He just can't understand because "naps feel so good". If I am accidentally nodding off he sees this as an opportunity to force me into a nap by shutting the curtains and covering me in a blanket. It's supposed to be romantic but I have begged him to always stop me from napping anywhere.

Ive just woken grumpy from another nap so probably i am. But abiu to hate naps and also slightly hate him for all the magical naps he gets to enjoy while i just feel like dogger?

She doesn't always nap 3 hours because at nursery she has a set nap time of 1.5 hours. On holiday she was extra tired from running around on the beach and in the sea all morning so it could stretch for 3 hours. On weekends she can easily sleep 3 hours too, if daddy is there comforting her back to sleep.
Normal bedtime is around 8:30 pm. On a weekday we have to all get up at 6:30am.
Dh is constantly moaning he is tired. At least once a day he will whine about how exhausting his life is. Only on days where he can have a nap does he stop.

Naps used to make me feel like death too but honestly, I'm 39 and pregnant..... I'm a huge fan now

Dh is constantly moaning he is tired. At least once a day he will whine about how exhausting his life is.

That would drive me to the edge of reason.

Although I suppose at least in your case he is encouraging your daughter to sleep as well which is at least an improvement on all the mumsnetters whose husbands are suddenly struck down with exhaustion as soon as it looks like they might have to do some childcare on their own.

The phone ringing woke me from an accidental 2 hour nap one day. I answered but was so out of it that I could not understand a word the other person was saying. I'm sure they were speaking english, but my brain just could not compute. I think I said "what?" about 4 times before I just hung up the phone because I had no idea what was going on.

To this day I still have no idea who was on the other end of the phone! Felt like death for the rest of the day, felt so sick I could not eat or drink, and was literally bouncing of the walls trying to walk down the hall. If anyone had seen me they'd have thought I was drunk out of my mind.

So no, YANBU, naps are the work of the devil!

Your child naps for 3 hours?

If a grown adult with no health issues is constantly that tired and can do 3 hour naps and still sleep a solid night's sleep, I think he needs to go to the doctors

Can you imagine what he's going to be like as he grows older. It's going to be so so boring. Our worst traits always get even more pronounced as we get older. Sleeping for hours during the day will be his retirement. How utterly dull for you.

Lulalla... he snores as well. Like a foghorn.

He went to a sleep clinic about his snoring (his idea of a fun day out) but they told him he just needed to lose weight.

I must admit, my snoring was a lot worse before I lost a stone. And I needed my naps a lot more, so I suspect I had sleep apnoea. I didn’t bother going to the gp about it because I knew I just needed to lose weight.

You say you do the majority of the early mornings with dd because you’ve had a good nights sleep - stop that. You do half of them and you force him to get up for his half.

You say he makes a noise in the evenings when you're trying to get an early night - so you can wake him up when he naps. If he complains, explain you’re only copying him.

Snoring - I put up with this for years and then I started properly waking him up every single time. It motivated him to find a solution and also gave me a chance to get back to sleep!

Also, if he sleeps all night and yet feels tired, the snoring may well be his problem.

I don't see the problem with him napping with your toddler when you are all on holiday, he's not leaving you to entertain the toddler and you get 3 hours to yourself.

It's not for him to wake you if you're dropping off but equally I wouldn't want him closing curtains and putting blankets on you. If it were me I would get up and go in the garden or do something to stop myself from napping.

I am the same, I feel hungover if I nap in the day and I don't even drink 😂😂 my DH would nap on a clothes line given half the chance, and then sleep a solid 8 at night, I only need about 5 hours though.

Pre menopause, I loved a nap. Now I just find them disorientating. Hormones (or lack thereof) kill all pleasure!

Anything over 45 mins and I feel the same OP. Shaky, disoriented, brain fog but less than that (preferably a 30 min nap) I feel fab. 3 hours isn’t a nap it’s a full blown sleep.

Why don't you set an alarm in case you doze off? I could nap every day 2😴😴😴

I can’t do naps or lie ins they just make me feel awful
DP does both and stays up half the night too
Thankfully we don’t live together but it makes holidays very difficult
I will only stay somewhere that suits us both which is tricky
As your DC naps at same time why can’t you leave them together and do something else

Are there any scolarly reports on the hows and whys of napping? I know that a sleep after lunch is supposed to make people more productive, but I just can't. I've flown in long haul, 24 hours in sleepless transit and tried to nap and still not been able to - I can only sleep at night, in a bed. Yet others can drop off after a full night's sleep and nap for a couple of hours!

What are the mechanisms etc that cause this to be possible for some and not others?

Zaphods I think it could be related to blood sugar levels. Diabetes runs in my family and feeling groggy after naps can be a symptom. I had gestational diabetes and it definitely got worse during pregnancy.
I'm not diabetic normally though and still feel shit after a nap, although I admit a cold can of coke is the only thing to even get close to snapping me out of it. It's the only time I ever drink coke.
Not saying this is based on actual science or anything, but maybe we cranky nappers are not as efficient at regulating our blood sugars as the happy nappers.

Interesting theories Neo - although I just CANNOT nap at all and diabetes runs in my family and I also had gestational diabetes. I'm not groggy after napping, I literally can't nap. Even lying down in a dark room won't work (unless the dark room is my bedroom, it's bedtime, and then it's not really a nap, is it?).